BOYFRIEND= ENEMY

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Never believe a boyfriend, he doesn't love you, he probably doesn't even respect you. The reason why he wants a secret relationship, is to isolate you and get you to compromise your values. In this sexist world, he will get away with being associated with you, whilst dispersions will be cast on your character. When you're alone together, shaytaan is the third companion.

If a boy says he is too young for marriage, guess what? He's too young to be speaking to you, and certainly should keep his dirty hands to himself.

If a boy/man truly loves and values you, he will approach your parents for your hand in marriage.

Also, a lot of these boys and men are emotionally khaniis, and live for the approval of other men, so you best believe he will regale his friends with tales of your sordid affair, share images and even videos if need be.

Long story short; always mistrust a man, until he proves he can be trusted.
Never speak to a man/boy without your mahrems knowing about it.

Stay safe!

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Some Muslims romanticise Gaalo relationships. But behind the scenes, in long-term 'boyfriend-girlfriend' relationships. The woman is constantly begging for a proposal, whilst he drags his feet. Of course not always, but for the most part, from what I have observed, the majority of these boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are based on a man getting sex, a roommate to split the bills with, etc. It's all based on catering to his needs, whilst he doesn't commit to a legal relationship. Some of these women are strung along by these 'boyfriends', until their child-bearing age is gone, whilst the man happily gets married to another woman after a short period.

The only relationship in which a woman gets her rights, is in Islam, but that is only when Islamic laws are properly applied; a man must provide fully, and a woman must be aware of all her rights and exercise them with prudence.

 

[Daydreamer]

Some Muslims romanticise Gaalo relationships. But behind the scenes, in long-term 'boyfriend-girlfriend' relationships. The woman is constantly begging for a proposal, whilst he drags his feet. Of course not always, but for the most part, from what I have observed, the majority of these boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are based on a man getting sex, a roommate to split the bills with, etc. It's all based on catering to his needs, whilst he doesn't commit to a legal relationship. Some of these women are strung along by these 'boyfriends', until their child-bearing age is gone, whilst the man happily gets married to another woman after a short period.

The only relationship in which a woman gets her rights, is in Islam, but that is only when Islamic laws are properly applied; a man must provide fully, and a woman must be aware of all her rights and exercise them with prudence.

Would you advise people getting married at college age instead of doing it the gaalo way in order to avoid certain vices which are common during college years (provided the spouses are of a similar age)

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Would you advise people getting married at college age in order to avoid certain vices which are common during college years (provided the spouses are of a similar age)

Yes, I would! I have seen young couples and they are so cute. I firmly believe that men should fully provide, but I believe that when the couple is young and studying, it's okay to pool resources together, and when the boy has a career, he should take over and lead like the man he is.

Anything is better than being Zaani and Zaaniyah.

 

[Abdalla]

Long story short; always mistrust a man

A lot of girls don’t want to be treated right. Even the good girls have a voice inside them that yearns for bad guys.

 

[wonyluvr]

boyfriends they are your biggest enemy gabdho watch out on the day of judgement your Kurdish boyfriend will testify against you

 

[Mudug_gyal]

A man only becomes your boyfriend cause he doesn’t think your worth wifing up

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

A lot of girls don’t want to be treated right. Even the good girls have a voice inside them that yearns for bad guys.

Bullshit walahi. I've never met a woman with self-esteem that wants to be abused.

 

[Daydreamer]

Yes, I would! I have seen young couples and they are so cute. I firmly believe that men should fully provide, but I believe that when the couple is young and studying, it's okay to pool resources together, and when the boy has a career, he should take over and lead like the man he is.

Anything is better than being Zaani and Zaaniyah.

Nowadays tho in westerna countries it's getting exceedingly hard to support a household with one salary so how would a man navigate that realistically

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Nowadays tho in westerna countries it's getting exceedingly hard to support a household with one salary so how would a man navigate that realistically

Two options:

1. Men need to start working two jobs and bringing two checks home, and work hard to get better careers.

OR

Men need to start lifting their weight at home, if they want their wife to also bring money home. This means a fully 50/50 lifestyle. Not coming home after both partners work, expecting the wife to cook, and to clean and feed the babies.
The issue is a lot of men, even when their wives pay bills also, hardly do anything at home. Thus a lot of women feel short-changed and that none of it is worth it.

 

[Daydreamer]

Two options:

1. Men need to start working two jobs and bringing two checks home, and work hard to get better careers.

OR

Men need to start lifting their weight at home, if they want their wife to also bring money home. This means a fully 50/50 lifestyle. Not coming home after both partners work, expecting the wife to cook, and to clean and feed the babies.
The issue is a lot of men, even when their wives pay bills also, hardly do anything at home. Thus a lot of women feel short-changed and that none of it is worth it.

That's reasonable, cooking together with a wife seems like a nice way to spend time

 

[datesfrompuntland]

Never believe a boyfriend, he doesn't love you, he probably doesn't even respect you. The reason why he wants a secret relationship, is to isolate you and get you to compromise your values. In this sexist world, he will get away with being associated with you, whilst dispersions will be cast on your character. When you're alone together, shaytaan is the third companion.

If a boy says he is too young for marriage, guess what? He's too young to be speaking to you, and certainly should keep his dirty hands to himself.

If a boy/man truly loves and values you, he will approach your parents for your hand in marriage.

Also, a lot of these boys and men are emotionally khaniis, and live for the approval of other men, so you best believe he will regale his friends with tales of your sordid affair, share images and even videos if need be.

Long story short; always mistrust a man, until he proves he can be trusted.
Never speak to a man/boy without your mahrems knowing about it.

Stay safe!

Facts, was at a conference, a speaker was like I make more than my husband. When they follow this they become the thing they lay next to.

 

[Sophisticate]

You should never claim someone who isn't your husband, and be very exacting about the type of man you invite into your life for the sake of marriage. I think it's also important to add what sort of red flags.

• Humour at your expense.
• Believes that pain comes from relationships/pessimistic outlook of relationships.
• Too demanding of your time.
• Lack of respect for boundaries.
• Poor communication habits i.e. dominating conversations and failing to listen actively.
• Attracted to chaos and calamity: seeks drama though claims they are peace loving.
• Lies frequently.
• Has a persistently bad/self-destructive habit.
• Questionable faith.
• Sees you as a status symbol where he sees talking to you as a means of social validation.
• Trauma dumps with offloading emotional baggage but sparingly asks about your well-being.
• Considers himself the prize and that you should be grateful to talk to him.
• Makes excuses for Zina, especially among men.
• Possessive behaviour at the talking stage.
• Highly misogynistic views (views women as less intelligent, competent, logical or relegates their role to the domestic sphere and motherhood only).
• Also has conflicting views, wanting a traditional woman but reprimanding her for staying home and not financially contributing.
• Thinks that women-dominated professions are useless and undermines the credentials of women in those fields, exclaiming certain degrees are worthless.
• Any red-pill talking points.
• Bare minimum effort.
• Belittles others (i.e. servers, those who work under him).
• Entitlement/Superiority complex.
• The tendency toward conflict and argumentativeness (always an agent provocateur).
• Stingyness independent of income.
• Signs of unpredictability/ lack of reliability.
• Having a temper/short fuse.
• Claims to be always right and blames everyone else.
• Makes critical comments about your appearance.
• Appraisals of you relative to other women.
• Speaking disparagingly of a former prospect.
• Has a wondering eye.
• Consistently unhealthy views of the opposite sex.
• Viewership of erotica as it is linked to the previous point.

 

[Ozymandias]

who broke your heart macaanto, the SS gang will deal with him

 

[Aseer]

You should never claim someone who isn't your husband, and be very exacting about the type of man you invite into your life for the sake of marriage. I think it's also important to add what sort of red flags.

• Humour at your expense.
• Believes that pain comes from relationships/pessimistic outlook of relationships.
• Too demanding of your time.
• Lack of respect for boundaries.
• Poor communication habits i.e. dominating conversations and failing to listen actively.
• Attracted to chaos and calamity: seeks drama though claims they are peace loving.
• Lies frequently.
• Has a persistently bad/self-destructive habit.
• Questionable faith.
• Sees you as a status symbol where he sees talking to you as a means of social validation.
• Trauma dumps with offloading emotional baggage but sparingly asks about your well-being.
• Considers himself the prize and that you should be grateful to talk to him.
• Makes excuses for Zina, especially among men.
• Possessive behaviour at the talking stage.
• Highly misogynistic views (views women as less intelligent, competent, logical or relegates their role to the domestic sphere and motherhood only).
• Also has conflicting views, wanting a traditional woman but reprimanding her for staying home and not financially contributing.
• Thinks that women-dominated professions are useless and undermines the credentials of women in those fields, exclaiming certain degrees are worthless.
• Any red-pill talking points.
• Bare minimum effort.
• Belittles others (i.e. servers, those who work under him).
• Entitlement/Superiority complex.
• The tendency toward conflict and argumentativeness (always an agent provocateur).
• Stingyness independent of income.
• Signs of unpredictability/ lack of reliability.
• Having a temper/short fuse.
• Claims to be always right and blames everyone else.
• Makes critical comments about your appearance.
• Appraisals of you relative to other women.
• Speaking disparagingly of a former prospect.
• Has a wondering eye.
• Consistently unhealthy views of the opposite sex.
• Viewership of erotica as it is linked to the previous point.

Saving this post.

 

[empressjamila]

You should never claim someone who isn't your husband, and be very exacting about the type of man you invite into your life for the sake of marriage. I think it's also important to add what sort of red flags.

• Humour at your expense.
• Believes that pain comes from relationships/pessimistic outlook of relationships.
• Too demanding of your time.
• Lack of respect for boundaries.
• Poor communication habits i.e. dominating conversations and failing to listen actively.
• Attracted to chaos and calamity: seeks drama though claims they are peace loving.
• Lies frequently.
• Has a persistently bad/self-destructive habit.
• Questionable faith.
• Sees you as a status symbol where he sees talking to you as a means of social validation.
• Trauma dumps with offloading emotional baggage but sparingly asks about your well-being.
• Considers himself the prize and that you should be grateful to talk to him.
• Makes excuses for Zina, especially among men.
• Possessive behaviour at the talking stage.
• Highly misogynistic views (views women as less intelligent, competent, logical or relegates their role to the domestic sphere and motherhood only).
• Also has conflicting views, wanting a traditional woman but reprimanding her for staying home and not financially contributing.
• Thinks that women-dominated professions are useless and undermines the credentials of women in those fields, exclaiming certain degrees are worthless.
• Any red-pill talking points.
• Bare minimum effort.
• Belittles others (i.e. servers, those who work under him).
• Entitlement/Superiority complex.
• The tendency toward conflict and argumentativeness (always an agent provocateur).
• Stingyness independent of income.
• Signs of unpredictability/ lack of reliability.
• Having a temper/short fuse.
• Claims to be always right and blames everyone else.
• Makes critical comments about your appearance.
• Appraisals of you relative to other women.
• Speaking disparagingly of a former prospect.
• Has a wondering eye.
• Consistently unhealthy views of the opposite sex.
• Viewership of erotica as it is linked to the previous point.

Every man I’ve ever met has had at least one of these red flags, smh.

Good men are rare walahi

 

[Ahmedahmed5000]

Never believe a boyfriend, he doesn't love you, he probably doesn't even respect you. The reason why he wants a secret relationship, is to isolate you and get you to compromise your values. In this sexist world, he will get away with being associated with you, whilst dispersions will be cast on your character. When you're alone together, shaytaan is the third companion.

If a boy says he is too young for marriage, guess what? He's too young to be speaking to you, and certainly should keep his dirty hands to himself.

If a boy/man truly loves and values you, he will approach your parents for your hand in marriage.

Also, a lot of these boys and men are emotionally khaniis, and live for the approval of other men, so you best believe he will regale his friends with tales of your sordid affair, share images and even videos if need be.

Long story short; always mistrust a man, until he proves he can be trusted.
Never speak to a man/boy without your mahrems knowing about it.

Stay safe!

Not all of us are polygamous

 

[Sophisticate]

Every man I’ve ever met has had at least one of these red flags, smh.

Good men are rare walahi

It almost feels like you need to learn about psychology to navigate relationships effectively. That way, you can identify healthy and unhealthy patterns of relating in others.

From what I've noticed, healthy relationships involve:

• Mutual respect.
• Open and honest communication.
• Holding space without advice giving (unless asked).
• Offering support on both sides.
• Avoiding ownership, jealousy and punishing behaviour.
• Active listening.
• Fidelity.
• Owing mistakes and apologizing for misgivings on both sides.
• Showing gratitude/thanks on both sides.
• Consistently showing up on both ends.
• Honouring your word most of the time as it strengthens integrity.
• Valuing what each other wants to accomplish and hopefully facilitating making this possible.
• Celebrating each other's small wins.
• Both being intentional about making time, giving undivided attention when you do, despite the busyness of life and clarifying when this is not feasible.
• Hopefully taking personal responsibility for your mental and physical health.
• Accepting each other's shortcomings and empathizing with one another's pain/challenges. That isn't to say either party becomes complacent. It's more of a show of compassion.

 

[Gojo Satoru]

You should never claim someone who isn't your husband, and be very exacting about the type of man you invite into your life for the sake of marriage. I think it's also important to add what sort of red flags.

• Humour at your expense.
• Believes that pain comes from relationships/pessimistic outlook of relationships.
• Too demanding of your time.
• Lack of respect for boundaries.
• Poor communication habits i.e. dominating conversations and failing to listen actively.
• Attracted to chaos and calamity: seeks drama though claims they are peace loving.
• Lies frequently.
• Has a persistently bad/self-destructive habit.
• Questionable faith.
• Sees you as a status symbol where he sees talking to you as a means of social validation.
• Trauma dumps with offloading emotional baggage but sparingly asks about your well-being.
• Considers himself the prize and that you should be grateful to talk to him.
• Makes excuses for Zina, especially among men.
• Possessive behaviour at the talking stage.
• Highly misogynistic views (views women as less intelligent, competent, logical or relegates their role to the domestic sphere and motherhood only).
• Also has conflicting views, wanting a traditional woman but reprimanding her for staying home and not financially contributing.
• Thinks that women-dominated professions are useless and undermines the credentials of women in those fields, exclaiming certain degrees are worthless.
• Any red-pill talking points.
• Bare minimum effort.
• Belittles others (i.e. servers, those who work under him).
• Entitlement/Superiority complex.
• The tendency toward conflict and argumentativeness (always an agent provocateur).
• Stingyness independent of income.
• Signs of unpredictability/ lack of reliability.
• Having a temper/short fuse.
• Claims to be always right and blames everyone else.
• Makes critical comments about your appearance.
• Appraisals of you relative to other women.
• Speaking disparagingly of a former prospect.
• Has a wondering eye.
• Consistently unhealthy views of the opposite sex.
• Viewership of erotica as it is linked to the previous point.

It crazy how many of those traits describe my former friend

 

[Sophisticate]

It crazy how many of those traits describe my former friend

What was the gender?