Saying “If only I had done such and such” to express grief for the past and distress what has been decree is not allowed, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Be not like those who disbelieve (hypocrites) and who say to their brethren when they travel through the earth or go out to fight: ‘If they had stayed with us, they would not have died or been killed,’ so that Allah may make it a cause of regret in their hearts”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:156]
This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade when he said, “If anything happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such, then such and such would have happened.’ Say instead, ‘Qaddar Allah wa maa sha’a fa 'ala (Allah decreed and what He wills He does), for ‘If only’ opens the door to the Shaytaan”, i.e., it makes you vulnerable to grief and fear, which is harmful to you and is of no benefit. Know that whatever befalls you, you could not have avoided, and whatever does not happen to you, you could not have made it happen to you, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“No calamity befalls, but by the Leave [i.e. Decision and Qadar (Divine Preordainments)] of Allah, and whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart” [al-Taghaabun 64:11]
They said, this is a man to whom calamity happens, but he knows that it is from Allah, so he accepts it and submits.
“O you who believe! Be not like those who disbelieve (hypocrites) and who say to their brethren when they travel through the earth or go out to fight: ‘If they had stayed with us, they would not have died or been killed,’ so that Allah may make it a cause of regret in their hearts”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:156]
This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade when he said, “If anything happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such, then such and such would have happened.’ Say instead, ‘Qaddar Allah wa maa sha’a fa 'ala (Allah decreed and what He wills He does), for ‘If only’ opens the door to the Shaytaan”, i.e., it makes you vulnerable to grief and fear, which is harmful to you and is of no benefit. Know that whatever befalls you, you could not have avoided, and whatever does not happen to you, you could not have made it happen to you, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“No calamity befalls, but by the Leave [i.e. Decision and Qadar (Divine Preordainments)] of Allah, and whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart” [al-Taghaabun 64:11]
They said, this is a man to whom calamity happens, but he knows that it is from Allah, so he accepts it and submits.
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