How to Run for President in Somalia

[merka]

https://somalianewsroom.com/2016/10/07/step-by-step-guide-how-to-run-for-president-in-somalia/

Election season in Somalia is in full swing.

Polls have encountered multiple delays, but this has not stopped candidates — ranging from those looking to boost their resume and public profile to serious contenders — from engaging in a carefully scripted public flirtation with office.

Putting aside the reality that only members of parliament will vote for president and serious candidates exchange bribes for votes, this is a step-by-step guide on #HowToRunForPresidentInSomalia.

Step 1: Make a grand entrance to campaign events in your chartered plane.

Step 2: Show that you have adoring (and possibly compensated) fans.

Step 3: Make sure you have an entourage. Walk with said entourage.

Step 4: Ride with said entourage.

Step 5: Blow yourself up (not like al-Shabaab…)

Step 6: Show them you love the elderly, the disabled, and the youths…





Step 7: Stay humble.

 

[merka]

Step 8: Go to Yurub (ahem, Europe.) But not for tahriib!

Step 9: Create a website with all your achievements; but perhaps don’t forget to fill it out like the current president…

Step 10: Retweet yourself. The old-school way.

Step 11: *Think* about not being a man.








Step 12: Wear bling. SPARE NO EXPENSE.

Step 13: Remind your opponent of every mistake they ever made.

Step 14: Talk to "The West"

 

[merka]

Step 15: Did you mention you love the kids?








These steps won’t make you a good president — or even president. But it will make you look presidential. And sometimes, that’s all that matters.

 

[MrProfessor]

Step 9

 

[Cambuulo Tonight]

What a barrel of laugh somali race has become

 

[waraabe]

Koonfuristan is a comedy club

 

[AceofSom]

Koonfuristan is a comedy club

hehe, imagine running for presidency in a fairy tail state, thats even more funnier

 

[RudeBoi]

hehe, imagine running for presidency in a fairy tail state, thats even more funnier

Are you saying Somaliland doesn't exist and that the blue flags hover over majority of the cities in the North.

Also it's tale not tail you buffoon

 

[waraabe]

hehe, imagine running for presidency in a fairy tail state, thats even more funnier

Imagine a fairy tale country having a bigger budget then a joke failed state

 

[AceofSom]

Are you saying Somaliland doesn't exist and that the blue flags hover over majority of the cities in the North.

Also it's tale not tail you buffoon

... no no SL exists



























in a parallel world

 

[Merca]

Simply qooto qooto

 

[Shamis]

Oh how far we've fallen! People even make fun of tahriib and no one bats and eyelid.

 

[Lord Flacko]

Koonfuristan is a comedy club

f*ck you gotta spin this into some exclusive "koonfuristan" thing? Just have a laugh and move on, don't tack your agenda on it.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

:siilaanyolaugh::siilaanyolaugh:

 

[Bernie Madoff]

:siilaanyolaugh::siilaanyolaugh:

sall good they are remaking a live mulan movie that should cheer ya up

lool just needed excuse to use that emoji

 

[Nin xun]

sall good they are remaking a live mulan movie that should cheer ya up

lool just needed excuse to use that emoji

They're casting a white dude as the main protagonist, I'm just waiting for the hilarious calaacal that will ensue.
:siilaanyolaugh:

 

[Bernie Madoff]

They're casting a white dude as the main protagonist, I'm just waiting for the hilarious calaacal that will ensue.
:siilaanyolaugh:

just like the last samurai with tom cruise smh white people got no shame

 

[Nin xun]

just like the last samurai with tom cruise smh what people got no shame

Wallahi they don't, just look a the new Moses movie. That Tom Hanks movie though, I'd pay to see it.