backstory:
i used to date this guy.. let's call him yusuf. yusuf and i met through his best friend (let's call his best friend ahmed) at college. i knew ahmed for 3 months before i met yusuf and we considered each other to be best friends. yusuf was my first boyfriend (i was 18 at the time) and after we initially met, all he ever did was call and text me. for 2 weeks i curved his ass because i'm the type of girl that won't date you unless you have intentions of marrying me. i could've been in plenty of relationships by now but i don't wanna end up committing zina which is why i've never had a boyfriend before yusuf. yusuf insisted that i was his future wife even though we just met but idk something about him made me fall in love! he was different from the other guys that tried to flirt with me. he asked me out after 4 weeks of talking and we were official. now back to ahmed. i met him the beginning of this year during the first week of the semester. he's hella funny so we started talking a lot. at school, people would see us together and hype us up like "oh y'all would be the cutest couple ever" "you guys should go out" etc etc. i was extremely gassed by the comments because before this year i used to never talk to somali guys-- even on a friendly level. i used to be really antisocial when it came to men because my parents forced me to go to an islamic highschool (that's another story for another day) and so i didn't start talking to niggas until college. even though people said those comments to us i didn't give in & plus it wasn't like ahmed asked me out or anything. we would flirt with each other for fun (i was trolling but i didn't realize he was being serious until later on...) one day at school barely anyone was there; so ahmed & i were alone in the student center. i don't know what compelled me to do this (probably shaytaan, i should've read some quran sigh) but we were holding hands & walking throughout the school. i also sat on his lap and he kissed me on the cheek... then he took me home. that was all we ever did "physically" & this was all new to me because i've never done any of these things with a guy before. the most i've ever done before was hug my guy friends when i see them. after that day, ahmed would always text me asking if we could hang but we never got the chance to; up to this day that one night at school was the only time we ended up being alone with one another. fast forward to two weeks later & i met yusuf. i stopped flirting with ahmed completely and thought of him as a best friend/brother. when yusuf & i became a couple, the three of us would hang out all the time. lemme tell y'all that i learned so many things about ahmed that i didn't know before. yusuf is an honest person so when i asked him if ahmed smokes weed, he said yes. i wasn't surprised but i was kinda annoyed that ahmed lied to me because the day we met i told ahmed he looks like a stoner and he was like "hell no you're funny." being with yusuf also showed me how much of a ahmed is. ahmed would literally be facetiming girls in front of us & they would be flashing their breasts and twerking for him. at that moment i had to thank allah that he brought yusuf into my life because who knows i could've started dating ahmed instead & he probably would've cheated on me... plus yusuf is hotter, more religious & actually has goals in life. i cant believe i almost caught feelings for ahmed just because people were hyping us up & he was being sweet towards me. don't judge me y'all i was inexperienced! if i had known ahmed was a manwhore in the beginning i would've never let him touch me. ahmed is mysterious and lowkey af so i never knew any of these things prior to meeting yusuf. yusuf was and still is the man of my dreams but we broke up during ramadan because we were both busy & just didn't have time for one another (i was also going through some rough shit--recovering from a pretty bad car accident & my cousin wishing death upon me which is also another story for another time). we ended things on good terms & remained friends. when school started again this past august yusuf & i decided that we should both get our lives in order before we get back together and so that's where we're at right now.
my dilemma:
as i said, ahmed and i used to flirt before i even knew who yusuf was. during yusuf & i's relationship, ahmed didn't flirt with me at all and i was glad. when yusuf and i broke up. i told ahmed about it because i wanted to know if yusuf was talking about me & he was like "nah yusuf has been MIA lately all he does is go to work [...] y'all are gonna get back together soon" blah blah blah. then this crazy nigga started sending me messages on snapchat calling me beautiful, cute, every fucking compliment under the sun! every selfie i sent him he would replay it or screenshot it, and the worst thing he said to me was "teyana you're so beautiful but idk that's all yusuf" basically he's trying to say that he wants me but i'm still technically yusuf's girl even though we ain't together. i was literally in my bed scratching my damn head. does he not know what bro code is???? any guy that's reading this please tell me: is it actually ok to be flirting with your best friend's ex girlfriend????? for me personally, if one of my friends was flirting with yusuf behind my back & i found out i'd cut her out of my life forever. at first i thought this was a test... that yusuf was trying to see if i was loyal so he asked ahmed to flirt with me to see what i would say but this has been going on for almost 5 months now so i don't think so. i'm not the confrontational type so i haven't told ahmed straight up to stop flirting with me because i don't know how he'll react but i keep on curving him. he won't take his L and move on with his life. i honestly believe he likes me because i haven't caught feelings for him yet & he's not gonna stop until i do. i constantly brother/friendzone him all the time but he doesn't get the hint. he has every girl in minnesota on his dick so i don't know why he continues to bother me! those girls should be keeping him busy & distracted. apart from all of this messiness that i just mentioned, ahmed is a really good friend to me when he ain't flirting with me & he's just being his funny self. so now my question to y'all #1 is should i snitch to yusuf and tell him that his best friend keeps on flirting with me (it's pretty obvious yusuf doesn't know what his friend has been doing behind his back & neither does he know about ahmed and i getting a little too close that one evening way before i met yusuf), #2 should i just face my fears and tell ahmed straight up to stop flirting with me and respect me as his bro's ex girl? or #3 continue to ignore ahmed's flirty comments like i've been doing and never tell yusuf?? i just don't want things to be awkward between ahmed and i if i were to confront him. a part of me is scared that he might never speak to me again. that would also affect yusuf & i's relationship because ahmed and him are like two peas in a pod and i don't want yusuf to choose between him or me. yusuf is a chill ass person & has never once showed me signs of jealously when it comes to having guy friends because he knows i'm loyal. im single right now & im still being loyal towards him because i know we're gonna get back together soon. i feel like his reaction to me telling him about everything won't be too bad. (side note: yusuf hates snitches though... or that's what it looks like because one day he told me he cut his own brother out of his life because he snitched on him to his mom. i was shocked. it's another reason why i don't wanna tell yusuf anything) i just don't want yusuf and ahmed to not be friends anymore because not only are they extremely close but they are also from the same tribe (dhulbahante)! yusuf & i still love one another while ahmed likes me (i guess) so this ain't really a love triangle but imma call it one.
anyways sorry for making this so long but i really need some good words of advice. any solutions that i didn't mention above would be great too. if you have any questions please feel free to ask!
i used to date this guy.. let's call him yusuf. yusuf and i met through his best friend (let's call his best friend ahmed) at college. i knew ahmed for 3 months before i met yusuf and we considered each other to be best friends. yusuf was my first boyfriend (i was 18 at the time) and after we initially met, all he ever did was call and text me. for 2 weeks i curved his ass because i'm the type of girl that won't date you unless you have intentions of marrying me. i could've been in plenty of relationships by now but i don't wanna end up committing zina which is why i've never had a boyfriend before yusuf. yusuf insisted that i was his future wife even though we just met but idk something about him made me fall in love! he was different from the other guys that tried to flirt with me. he asked me out after 4 weeks of talking and we were official. now back to ahmed. i met him the beginning of this year during the first week of the semester. he's hella funny so we started talking a lot. at school, people would see us together and hype us up like "oh y'all would be the cutest couple ever" "you guys should go out" etc etc. i was extremely gassed by the comments because before this year i used to never talk to somali guys-- even on a friendly level. i used to be really antisocial when it came to men because my parents forced me to go to an islamic highschool (that's another story for another day) and so i didn't start talking to niggas until college. even though people said those comments to us i didn't give in & plus it wasn't like ahmed asked me out or anything. we would flirt with each other for fun (i was trolling but i didn't realize he was being serious until later on...) one day at school barely anyone was there; so ahmed & i were alone in the student center. i don't know what compelled me to do this (probably shaytaan, i should've read some quran sigh) but we were holding hands & walking throughout the school. i also sat on his lap and he kissed me on the cheek... then he took me home. that was all we ever did "physically" & this was all new to me because i've never done any of these things with a guy before. the most i've ever done before was hug my guy friends when i see them. after that day, ahmed would always text me asking if we could hang but we never got the chance to; up to this day that one night at school was the only time we ended up being alone with one another. fast forward to two weeks later & i met yusuf. i stopped flirting with ahmed completely and thought of him as a best friend/brother. when yusuf & i became a couple, the three of us would hang out all the time. lemme tell y'all that i learned so many things about ahmed that i didn't know before. yusuf is an honest person so when i asked him if ahmed smokes weed, he said yes. i wasn't surprised but i was kinda annoyed that ahmed lied to me because the day we met i told ahmed he looks like a stoner and he was like "hell no you're funny." being with yusuf also showed me how much of a ahmed is. ahmed would literally be facetiming girls in front of us & they would be flashing their breasts and twerking for him. at that moment i had to thank allah that he brought yusuf into my life because who knows i could've started dating ahmed instead & he probably would've cheated on me... plus yusuf is hotter, more religious & actually has goals in life. i cant believe i almost caught feelings for ahmed just because people were hyping us up & he was being sweet towards me. don't judge me y'all i was inexperienced! if i had known ahmed was a manwhore in the beginning i would've never let him touch me. ahmed is mysterious and lowkey af so i never knew any of these things prior to meeting yusuf. yusuf was and still is the man of my dreams but we broke up during ramadan because we were both busy & just didn't have time for one another (i was also going through some rough shit--recovering from a pretty bad car accident & my cousin wishing death upon me which is also another story for another time). we ended things on good terms & remained friends. when school started again this past august yusuf & i decided that we should both get our lives in order before we get back together and so that's where we're at right now.
my dilemma:
as i said, ahmed and i used to flirt before i even knew who yusuf was. during yusuf & i's relationship, ahmed didn't flirt with me at all and i was glad. when yusuf and i broke up. i told ahmed about it because i wanted to know if yusuf was talking about me & he was like "nah yusuf has been MIA lately all he does is go to work [...] y'all are gonna get back together soon" blah blah blah. then this crazy nigga started sending me messages on snapchat calling me beautiful, cute, every fucking compliment under the sun! every selfie i sent him he would replay it or screenshot it, and the worst thing he said to me was "teyana you're so beautiful but idk that's all yusuf" basically he's trying to say that he wants me but i'm still technically yusuf's girl even though we ain't together. i was literally in my bed scratching my damn head. does he not know what bro code is???? any guy that's reading this please tell me: is it actually ok to be flirting with your best friend's ex girlfriend????? for me personally, if one of my friends was flirting with yusuf behind my back & i found out i'd cut her out of my life forever. at first i thought this was a test... that yusuf was trying to see if i was loyal so he asked ahmed to flirt with me to see what i would say but this has been going on for almost 5 months now so i don't think so. i'm not the confrontational type so i haven't told ahmed straight up to stop flirting with me because i don't know how he'll react but i keep on curving him. he won't take his L and move on with his life. i honestly believe he likes me because i haven't caught feelings for him yet & he's not gonna stop until i do. i constantly brother/friendzone him all the time but he doesn't get the hint. he has every girl in minnesota on his dick so i don't know why he continues to bother me! those girls should be keeping him busy & distracted. apart from all of this messiness that i just mentioned, ahmed is a really good friend to me when he ain't flirting with me & he's just being his funny self. so now my question to y'all #1 is should i snitch to yusuf and tell him that his best friend keeps on flirting with me (it's pretty obvious yusuf doesn't know what his friend has been doing behind his back & neither does he know about ahmed and i getting a little too close that one evening way before i met yusuf), #2 should i just face my fears and tell ahmed straight up to stop flirting with me and respect me as his bro's ex girl? or #3 continue to ignore ahmed's flirty comments like i've been doing and never tell yusuf?? i just don't want things to be awkward between ahmed and i if i were to confront him. a part of me is scared that he might never speak to me again. that would also affect yusuf & i's relationship because ahmed and him are like two peas in a pod and i don't want yusuf to choose between him or me. yusuf is a chill ass person & has never once showed me signs of jealously when it comes to having guy friends because he knows i'm loyal. im single right now & im still being loyal towards him because i know we're gonna get back together soon. i feel like his reaction to me telling him about everything won't be too bad. (side note: yusuf hates snitches though... or that's what it looks like because one day he told me he cut his own brother out of his life because he snitched on him to his mom. i was shocked. it's another reason why i don't wanna tell yusuf anything) i just don't want yusuf and ahmed to not be friends anymore because not only are they extremely close but they are also from the same tribe (dhulbahante)! yusuf & i still love one another while ahmed likes me (i guess) so this ain't really a love triangle but imma call it one.
anyways sorry for making this so long but i really need some good words of advice. any solutions that i didn't mention above would be great too. if you have any questions please feel free to ask!
