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You’re one of the troubled though.

There’s a huge difference between masculine and masculinity in chaos. That’s why someone like Jordan Peterson has hoards of men practically on retainer. That dude is set for two lives and a half, all bc he’s mining an untapped need out there, however fairytale-like and catered his parables.
I’m not fan of him and you do exactly what a lot of people do to young men. Constantly telling them something is wrong with them. Let boys be boys and stop turning them to girls. And since is masculinity being a thug or abusive?
 

Hodan from HR

Be Kind Online.
Staff Member
I would rather have needles poked in my skin than open up to people and do the mushy talks.
It could be because of my upbringing or my personality but it is who I am comfortable to be. Who defines what is healthy and unhealthy in our society?
As someone who abhors talking about her feelings, I can understand why some guys here are opposed to his ideas.

But still, that does not make it okay to call him a homosexual. Every gender has a mix of both types of people.
 
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VixR

Veritas
I’m not fan of him and you do exactly what a lot of people do to young men. Constantly telling them something is wrong with them. Let boys be boys and stop turning them to girls. And since is masculinity being a thug or abusive?
Honestly, I only hope it works out for you.
 
I agree with his message, if only he could get rid of those foul words he uses regularly, it takes away from his message.

Hiding pain is never good, I have a few close friends that went through painful divorces and they confided in me.

They key is to do this early enough and not wait and prelong the suffering for yourself, those who never confide in anyone usually either end up crazy or lose there humanity.

This explains why suicide rates and mental health issues are highest in males

The sunnah is to always seek consultation from those that are wise and close to you, our prophet did this all the time, this way you will avoid a lot of further pain and unnecessary suffering.

I knew of a specific close friend that had to first be hospitalised from heart failure before he opened up to me.

I suspected something was wrong with him and whenever I asked he would act as though nothing was wrong, but it was obvious to me, he only told me after I pressed him hard because the doctors said it was stress because all test results were good.

Your first option of confiding should be your creator, then your mother and then your closest wisest friend.

Not doing so is a manifestation of arrogance and among the greatest of sin, punishable even in this world.

We have little control over our emotions and bodies, far less then we think, don't be deluded by this.

(53:43)
And that it is He (Allah) who makes [one] laugh and weep
 
yeah i see what you're saying, go your friend!!!
let me add on to it.

Men need support, a shoulder to lean on, maybe even a therapist etc but when they go out into the world and seek it (especially online) they create communities (mgtow, incels)

it seems like men prefer a group instead of an intimate one on one relationship. In this group, they are just one of many. "Hey, if you are going through what i am going through - something or someone must be targeting all of us" that leads them to finding a scapegoat, and victimization.

Idk i don't think this is unique to men, people generally look for explanations to their life problems, that are outside of their control, its the system, the neighbourhood, patriarchy...but all of the other times were people have formed a coalition based on similar problems - they've had something to work for? a cause to rally behind. Feminism had abortion, voting, blacklivesmatter have police brutality. Online communities like incel.com only have an enemy and that scares me, because i can see it turning into hopelessness, there's nothing to do, let's give up on life mentality.

Men are inherently more wired towards comradery than towards companionship. Talk is secondary to shared experiences and a common struggle. I think this preference evolved historically eg. in the battlefield etc.
It can be useful to articulate ones problems but not in order to complain and whine about them but more so to put everything into perspective and come up with a solution or a plan of action.

I for one can address most of my problems with my brothers and some close friends, but as a man you quickly realise that the majority of talk is cheap and not every conversation leads to more clarity or a way forward.
Instead many people leach and live off of "shared misery" and fake company and want to "get high" of the feeling of getting something off their chest or from commiserating with you.
( :whew: too many ofs and offs in that sentence, sorry for that)

So in order to avoid falling into a perpetual cycle of (self-)pity and constant chit-chat, most men learn to deal with their issues on their own and they are fuelled by the edge this approach gives them to attack their problems.

Not saying that this is healthy in the long run, but there is a place and time for every approach.
Complaining intimately is reserved for my creator only.
He said, "I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah, and I know from Allah that which you do not know.
12:86
Talking "heart-to-heart" is for my future wife alone.
Companionship is mostly with my family (and some very close friends).
Comradery is found in friends, associates, colleagues and the like.

This leaves the primary modus operandi to be inward stoicism or sabr and outward action or 'amal which has nothing to do with bottling up emotions or "toxic masculinity" whatever that means.
It is the most efficient method to get something done and a tried and tested way to go about dealing with mundane day-to-day bothersome stuff that is not unique to me.
Men need order and clear objectives to function and prosper even emotionally.
No need to celebrate "safe spaces". Real men need to accomplish something, conquer a field of their choice and rise up in the ranks, whether it is in their profession, sports, business, politics, academia, the military etc.
Where you find a hierarchy, status, a common goal and comradery is where you find mentally fortified and purposeful men.
 
I agree with his message, if only he could get rid of those foul words he uses regularly, it takes away from his message.

Hiding pain is never good, I have a few close friends that went through painful divorces and they confided in me.

They key is to do this early enough and not wait and prelong the suffering for yourself, those who never confide in anyone usually either end up crazy or lose there humanity.

This explains why suicide rates and mental health issues are highest in males

The sunnah is to always seek consultation from those that are wise and close to you, our prophet did this all the time, this way you will avoid a lot of further pain and unnecessary suffering.

I knew of a specific close friend that had to first be hospitalised from heart failure before he opened up to me.

I suspected something was wrong with him and whenever I asked he would act as though nothing was wrong, but it was obvious to me, he only told me after I pressed him hard because the doctors said it was stress because all test results were good.

Your first option of confiding should be your creator, then your mother and then your closest wisest friend.

Not doing so is a manifestation of arrogance and among the greatest of sin, punishable even in this world.

We have little control over our emotions and bodies, far less then we think, don't be deluded by this.

(53:43)
And that it is He (Allah) who makes [one] laugh and weep

Masha allah @Inquisitive_ . If you have problems I will listen to you.

What's next making your nails done after talking about your feelings :mjlol:

@Abdisamad3 Some men should really take care of their nails .believe me.
 
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