Never Heard Of Stuff Like This Before, Apparently Its A Shared Experience

[Lebron James]

 

[Rocktheboat]

Why do people keep saying the person who lost somebody feeds the people that come to their house. People cook food to them not the other way around since they can't cook in the house for 3 days

 

[niggaibnh]

few families does it = somali community

My family and my cousins cried in funerals
No one said anything

 

[niggaibnh]

Why do people keep saying the person who lost somebody feeds the people that come to their house. People cook food to them not the other way around since they can't cook in the house for 3 days

Exactly
I remember no one In the house cooked so my other cousin came and cooked the food for us for a week

 

[Yaraye]

I've never been to funeral so I don't know what it's like, but our community having no empathy for anything is absolutely true. I mean the deceased's family cooking for guest? TF?

 

[Magan95]

Why do people keep saying the person who lost somebody feeds the people that come to their house. People cook food to them not the other way around since they can't cook in the house for 3 days

Exactly. When a family member of mine died, the community cooked for us and helped us during and after tacsi.

We barely did anything. What kind of community is she interacting with?

They shouldn’t export this to the Somali ethnicity either, call out your family and close friends.

 

[Lebron James]

few families does it = somali community

My family and my cousins cried in funerals
No one said anything

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[Dima&Damo]

Why do people keep saying the person who lost somebody feeds the people that come to their house. People cook food to them not the other way around since they can't cook in the house for 3 days

Right people come to their home and cook for grieving

 

[Dima&Damo]

I've never been to funeral so I don't know what it's like, but our community having no empathy for anything is absolutely true. I mean the deceased's family cooking for guest? TF?

It's false i have been to plenty of funerals never have seen what these women are claiming another day of bashing somali culture

 

[Dima&Damo]

Somalis have been infiltrated bring back trial by fire it will keep all in line

 

[Yaraye]

It's false i have been to plenty of funerals never have seen what these women are claiming another day of bashing somali culture

i don't have a primary report cuz i've never been there. But I've heard way tooo many stories about the decreased family having to cook for the guest to it be false accusations.

 

[TekNiKo]

Wow cant believe this quote comment got that many likes

@Xhalpsl: I think the lack of empathy in the Somali community stems from the concept of Qadr, like hearing “Crying won’t change what’s done” “Accept & Move on”

 

[Magan95]

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They’re straight exaggerating.
Has anyone here personally seen a grieving family having to cook for guests during tacsi?

The crying thing I can believe to an extent but it’s usually because Islamically you grieve for 3 days and some people think that means you should barely cry.

I’m wondering if these xalimos are playing oppression olympics

 

[Awad]

They’re straight exaggerating.
Has anyone here personally seen a grieving family having to cook for guests during tacsi?

The crying thing I can believe but it’s usually because Islamically you grieve for 3 days.

I’m wondering if these xalimos are playing oppression olympics

This, I didn't even know mourning families cooked until I browsed this site. My family and everyone I know practices 3 day mourn

 

[killerxsmoke]

When my grandma died me,my aunt and uncle and other family members were besides her when she died my aunt wanted to cry coz she was taking care of her for years but my uncle shushed her even tho that is his mother that died

 

[Dima&Damo]

This tells me all somalis don't share daqaan

 

[Periplus]

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[Kalsoon]

This isn’t a normal culture response the young lady is talking about. It’s a phenomenon among some individuals in our communities. I try to be optimistic and say those people are unaware of how they come off when they say stuff like that. My hope is most of them aren’t doing it with malicious intent but out of a sincere wish to give helpful advice. That was probably what they were told when they had similar life experiences happen to them. They were told to suppress and moving on emotionally was best for them. They’re not thinking about how that will affect you personally but just going off their own lived experiences.

Dadka inii kala roonaadaan waaye. The young generation are only talking about how the older people are treating them and calling them out. Why not use those moments to reflect on how this person didn’t develop their empathy skills?? It’s not on us to develop it for them but we can keep in mind that they (elders) are in need of development in that aspect.

In shaa Allah I will begin drawing attention to it when someone says weird things like that by saying subhanAllah and then looking at them with a shocked facial expression. Maybe then they’ll think twice about the words they utter. They will keep speaking like that at the wrong times as long as their words have an effect on us.

May Allah heal that sister of the grudges and resentments. Grief is a journey unlike any other. I think I dealt with it for most of my childhood and didn’t know I was going through it until I learned the stages of grief.

 

[Lebron James]

This isn’t a normal culture response the young lady is talking about. It’s a phenomenon among some individuals in our communities. I try to be optimistic and say those people are unaware of how they come off when they say stuff like that. My hope is most of them aren’t doing it with malicious intent but out of a sincere wish to give helpful advice. That was probably what they were told when they had similar life experiences happen to them. They were told to suppress and moving on emotionally was best for them. They’re not thinking about how that will affect you personally but just going off their own lived experiences.

Dadka inii kala roonaadaan waaye. The young generation are only talking about how the older people are treating them and calling them out. Why not use those moments to reflect on how this person didn’t develop their empathy skills?? It’s not on us to develop it for them but we can keep in mind that they (elders) are in need of development in that aspect.

In shaa Allah I will begin drawing attention to it when someone says weird things like that by saying subhanAllah and then looking at them with a shocked facial expression. Maybe then they’ll think twice about the words they utter. They will keep speaking like that at the wrong times as long as their words have an effect on us.

May Allah heal that sister of the grudges and resentments. Grief is a journey unlike any other. I think I dealt with it for most of my childhood and didn’t know I was going through it until I learned the stages of grief.

Might be because the older generation grew up in a civil war and have many dead people that they know so it makes them numb to this. Diaspora kids can't relate to this since they havent gone through 25% of the struggle our parents went through

 

[Angelina]

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as culturally things have changed and we’ve realized it’s haram and ceeb.