Somalia

A

Amal Hassan

What’s your most funniest stories or experiences you’ve had in Somalia if you have visited? All the people I know come back with many stories. You can add any 3rd world country if you haven’t visited Somalia :gaasdrink:
 
MadMullah99

MadMullah99

Boqor of Boqors. The man your wife fantasises of.
Couple of years ago my two friends were smoking Weed and I was just there with them (I don’t smoke) In the car.

Due to the illegality, we usually found desered spots at night, parked up and smoked and each of us kept a lookout. Anyway this one evening two locals approached the car and we got out and was like wtf you on. At the same time an Askari literally appeared out of nowhere.

In the meantime one of my friends kicked the weed under the car discreetly and my other friend was almost going to fight the local man and his three accomplices. The askari then shouts “AAMUS“ Whilst pointing the AK at my friend‘s head :dead:

I then stepped in and told everyone to calm down and told the Askari we would give him a lift back to the city centre. He got happy and told the local to *** off. Us three then got in the car locked the windows, hit our heads to the ground and drove off full speed.

I got many more crazy stories but cant be bothered.
 
Shmurda

Shmurda

King Of NSFW
I visited Galkacyo for a short time when I was 13 our macalin was a chill guy he didn't really care if you read or not as long as he got paid all he'd do is chew his khat and listen to us read

One day these other dhaqan celis in my class took his khat when he left and started chewing it me I was going to do it to but I didn't. He comes back his bundle of khat is half eaten he lines us up so he can whip us all

I start sweating buckets wallahi it's almost my turn but one of the kids that chewed the khat had anger issues so when he got whipped it ticked him off and he punched the macalin in the face. This guy fell on the floor out cold and we all ran home
 
A

Amal Hassan

Nah, one time we hired a driver to take us to lascaanood and our car flipped at night and we were all worried cause we didn’t have signal. We all got out safe and some locals called someone to gave us a ride. The driver was trying to make us pay for the car and the journey but we were traumatized :frdfvsb: nearly lost my life like that
 
MadMullah99

MadMullah99

Boqor of Boqors. The man your wife fantasises of.
Shmurda said:
I visited Galkacyo for a short time when I was 13 our macalin was a chill guy he didn't really care if you read or not as long as he got paid all he'd do is chew his khat and listen to us read

One day these other dhaqan celis in my class took his khat when he left and started chewing it me I was going to do it to but I didn't. He comes back his bundle of khat is half eaten he lines us up so he can whip us all

I start sweating buckets wallahi it's almost my turn but one of the kids that chewed the khat had anger issues so when he got whipped it ticked him off and he punched the macalin in the face. This guy fell on the floor out cold and we all ran home
Click to expand...
When I was young a Macalin got arrested by the local prison warden because he beat kids so BAD they had scars and bled.

My Macalin was Good and would use a simple stick if you did not memorise shit.
 
A

Amal Hassan

The locals are crazy too. I must have been walking one day (15)and a grown ass woman started swearing at me walahi I didnt even notice her. When she got to the end of the street she started yelling absurdity. Jealousy like I ain’t even that cute :( from that day I always do evil eye dual cause man I ain’t got time. Another time some Askari pulled up on us and was peering like a little perv at us and made us pay him money and made weird jokes
 
MadMullah99

MadMullah99

Boqor of Boqors. The man your wife fantasises of.
Amal Hassan said:
Nah, one time we hired a driver to take us to lascaanood and our car flipped at night and we were all worried cause we didn’t have signal. We all got out safe and some locals called someone to gave us a ride. The driver was trying to make us pay for the car and the journey but we were traumatized :frdfvsb: nearly lost my life like that
Click to expand...
The f*ck. You LUCKY to be alive walahi. Usually when I hear a car accident in Somalia it is a death too. The roads are fucked up and they don’t know how to drive.
 
A

Amal Hassan

MadMullah99 said:
When I was young a Macalin got arrested by the local prison warden because he beat kids so BAD they had scars and bled.

My Macalin was Good and would use a simple stick if you did not memorise shit.
Click to expand...
Come to think of it, that shit was terrible teaching. I think hitting ppl affects you in later life. Could of had detention/rewards
 
A

Amal Hassan

MadMullah99 said:
The f*ck. You LUCKY to be alive walahi. Usually when I hear a car accident in Somalia it is a death too. The roads are fucked up and they don’t know how to drive.
Click to expand...
I know so fucked up :yloezpe: my life flashed before my eyes that day. from that day I say no thabks to road trips. There roads are so bad and bumpy alhamdulilah I made it out
 
MadMullah99

MadMullah99

Boqor of Boqors. The man your wife fantasises of.
Amal Hassan said:
Come to think of it, that shit was terrible teaching. I think hitting ppl affects you in later life. Could of had detention/rewards
Click to expand...
For savages like me no beating effected me and I used to think of food whilst it happened. I was surprised that it is so frowned upon in the west. but It is really not good if you have a mental illness and or disabled
 
A

Amal Hassan

MadMullah99 said:
For savages like me no beating effected me and I used to think of food whilst it happened. I was surprised that it is so frowned upon in the west. but It is really not good if you have a mental illness and or disabled
Click to expand...
I think it becomes for many people the triggers for mental illnesses because if you are learning something why am I being punished I’m not an expert . Anyway why can’t you teach Quran in a kind manner, I always remember the kindness of people. Especially so young, beatings sets them up. I was not a bothersome kid I followed what my parents said I was never beat much especially my mama dukes
 
MadMullah99

MadMullah99

Boqor of Boqors. The man your wife fantasises of.
Shmurda said:
Damn bro that must be some next level beatings to get arrested in Somalia holy f*ck
Click to expand...
Niggas was BLEEDING and his Malcamad was the the END ZONE If you got enrolled.

The whole neighbourhood came out to see him get arrested and put in the back of a Jeep
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Trending

Latest posts

Top