There is no such thing
Ive seen women looking for the perfect mate. They want someone who is going to complete them and be their everything! If this is you, then my question to you is this: If a man completes you and becomes your everything, then what position is Allah taking in your life? Allah is meant to be your everything. Allah says, “Say: ‘If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline: or the dwellings in which ye delight – are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause;- then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.” (9:24)
So, to look for completeness in a man is to make that man an idol in your life, it is to have put man above Allah! This will only lead to ruin because no man is perfect! Try as he might, he will disappoint you! So stop looking for someone who will not disappoint you over the lifetime you wish to be married…you will not find it. Even you, yes you…have and still disappoint many people…whether you realize it or not…whether you meant it or not. Instead of looking for perfection, look for someone who is striving towards perfection. This is a person that loves Allah and does not want to be conformed to the world but whose life’s purpose is to be transformed into the image of Good Muslim.
And ive seen many friends talking about wanting to get married but never about why it didn’t happen for them and how they themselves were the problem and holding themselves back.
The problem is self awareness, not everyone has it. You can’t change or work on something you aren’t aware of.
There’s no perfect person we all have imperfections, flaws and emotional baggage some more or less then others. We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. I respect a person who’s got the courage to tell their weaknesses and strengths. Who’s not afraid to tell how messed up and broken they are. Emery Allen put it beautifully.
You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world. – Emery Allen
Ive seen women looking for the perfect mate. They want someone who is going to complete them and be their everything! If this is you, then my question to you is this: If a man completes you and becomes your everything, then what position is Allah taking in your life? Allah is meant to be your everything. Allah says, “Say: ‘If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline: or the dwellings in which ye delight – are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause;- then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.” (9:24)
So, to look for completeness in a man is to make that man an idol in your life, it is to have put man above Allah! This will only lead to ruin because no man is perfect! Try as he might, he will disappoint you! So stop looking for someone who will not disappoint you over the lifetime you wish to be married…you will not find it. Even you, yes you…have and still disappoint many people…whether you realize it or not…whether you meant it or not. Instead of looking for perfection, look for someone who is striving towards perfection. This is a person that loves Allah and does not want to be conformed to the world but whose life’s purpose is to be transformed into the image of Good Muslim.
And ive seen many friends talking about wanting to get married but never about why it didn’t happen for them and how they themselves were the problem and holding themselves back.
The problem is self awareness, not everyone has it. You can’t change or work on something you aren’t aware of.
There’s no perfect person we all have imperfections, flaws and emotional baggage some more or less then others. We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. I respect a person who’s got the courage to tell their weaknesses and strengths. Who’s not afraid to tell how messed up and broken they are. Emery Allen put it beautifully.
You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world. – Emery Allen
