I am new here and sorry in advance if this thread already exists, but if it doesn’t, let’s get to it.
I had a discussion the other day with family and friends regarding as to how we were raised by our somali parents. I.e. what things have we/have not let go off in our childhood to adulthood but amended/to be amended in this very present day and future that works for our generation and for the ones to come.
As the majority of us had the same upbringing while some(minority) were very fortunate enough to be raised without taboo influences, I want to know your thoughts as to what teaching methods you have managed to continue and delete from childhood experiences and what things would you like to see changing in the future.
Here below are to name a few:
- Parents not understanding when to be a friend to their kids as well as switching into parents mode when necessary, so your kids are able to trust you with whatever is going on with their lives
- Teaching kids from young, what is right from wrong, with the qualities and skills needed to survive in their teen years, to be able to let them go in the real world when the time comes, as you can only hope that they don’t fall into peer pressure, knowing you have raised them correctly
- Informing your kids that education comes with knowledge and power and will give you the advantage in their career growth, but also understanding when they don’t want to go college/uni by helping them find what they do want to do instead, and not be disappointed that they have not chosen the education but work route
- Punishing kids when they are naughty in other ways other than the usual methods(dacas/belts) as beatings won’t help, though it may have paved the way for some when being disciplined but it does not work in every generation, therefore communication is key and that’s how trust can be built upon
- Having healthy discussions with the kids regarding family things or just news around the world, understanding what their likes and not likes are, as most parents have kids but truly not knowing who they really are and what they stand for, and with this, you are able to teach them manners, principles, integrity etc
- Appreciate that time has changed but showing the kids that technology should not be relied on always as it can break down, showing them the old skool methods so they can understand what they are taken for granted at times
- Stop cursing at your kids as it can merely have an effect on their lives and this should not be taken lightly
- Qabiil should be taught to spread love and respect all clans because it is a damn shame when you see some of the new generation spew pure hate when they never even been to the motherland, not knowing that tribalism has led to division of our people. I am still hopeful to this day that this will be considered ancient times.
- Speaking to the parents, elders and asking them what they liked or did not like in their golden times of youth and if they could change anything for better days, what would they be? Most of my elders have given me the same response stating that everything was picture perfect, no surprise there. Most will never admit that there are faults within the community because it truly defines the narrative of ceeb culture
**Last but not least, the last point addresses what most of these threads have been about(so far observed)**
- Marriage should be advised to engage in young age, only if you are ready for the right reasons as well as for the sake of Allah as there are indeed many benefits that comes from within, such as energy, good health, birthing kids(if soccer team, you must start early). But if men/women decide they want to marry later in life, for example late 20s/mid 30s, this needs to be considered fine with and the pressure needs to stop as we have seen the ones that do feel the pressure, usually end up in divorces(mostly females are affected by this than the males). And divorced women with/without kids should not be looked at in a bad light but understand that everyone deserves second chances in love and marriage. Also some men need to be taught to stop degrading the women when they supposedly come off “expired age” which is a derogatory term to use or the term “biological clock”, like some women are not well aware of it when indeed they are being reminded in a negative way to settle for less or second best so to speak. I believe this comes from having backwards mentality and these ones need to be taught the real value of women of any age range, shape or form the women fall under. If these are not their preferences of women, just swiftly move aside for other great men to make ways that accept and understand the real meaning of worthy and calaf.
I had a discussion the other day with family and friends regarding as to how we were raised by our somali parents. I.e. what things have we/have not let go off in our childhood to adulthood but amended/to be amended in this very present day and future that works for our generation and for the ones to come.
As the majority of us had the same upbringing while some(minority) were very fortunate enough to be raised without taboo influences, I want to know your thoughts as to what teaching methods you have managed to continue and delete from childhood experiences and what things would you like to see changing in the future.
Here below are to name a few:
- Parents not understanding when to be a friend to their kids as well as switching into parents mode when necessary, so your kids are able to trust you with whatever is going on with their lives
- Teaching kids from young, what is right from wrong, with the qualities and skills needed to survive in their teen years, to be able to let them go in the real world when the time comes, as you can only hope that they don’t fall into peer pressure, knowing you have raised them correctly
- Informing your kids that education comes with knowledge and power and will give you the advantage in their career growth, but also understanding when they don’t want to go college/uni by helping them find what they do want to do instead, and not be disappointed that they have not chosen the education but work route
- Punishing kids when they are naughty in other ways other than the usual methods(dacas/belts) as beatings won’t help, though it may have paved the way for some when being disciplined but it does not work in every generation, therefore communication is key and that’s how trust can be built upon
- Having healthy discussions with the kids regarding family things or just news around the world, understanding what their likes and not likes are, as most parents have kids but truly not knowing who they really are and what they stand for, and with this, you are able to teach them manners, principles, integrity etc
- Appreciate that time has changed but showing the kids that technology should not be relied on always as it can break down, showing them the old skool methods so they can understand what they are taken for granted at times
- Stop cursing at your kids as it can merely have an effect on their lives and this should not be taken lightly
- Qabiil should be taught to spread love and respect all clans because it is a damn shame when you see some of the new generation spew pure hate when they never even been to the motherland, not knowing that tribalism has led to division of our people. I am still hopeful to this day that this will be considered ancient times.
- Speaking to the parents, elders and asking them what they liked or did not like in their golden times of youth and if they could change anything for better days, what would they be? Most of my elders have given me the same response stating that everything was picture perfect, no surprise there. Most will never admit that there are faults within the community because it truly defines the narrative of ceeb culture
**Last but not least, the last point addresses what most of these threads have been about(so far observed)**
- Marriage should be advised to engage in young age, only if you are ready for the right reasons as well as for the sake of Allah as there are indeed many benefits that comes from within, such as energy, good health, birthing kids(if soccer team, you must start early). But if men/women decide they want to marry later in life, for example late 20s/mid 30s, this needs to be considered fine with and the pressure needs to stop as we have seen the ones that do feel the pressure, usually end up in divorces(mostly females are affected by this than the males). And divorced women with/without kids should not be looked at in a bad light but understand that everyone deserves second chances in love and marriage. Also some men need to be taught to stop degrading the women when they supposedly come off “expired age” which is a derogatory term to use or the term “biological clock”, like some women are not well aware of it when indeed they are being reminded in a negative way to settle for less or second best so to speak. I believe this comes from having backwards mentality and these ones need to be taught the real value of women of any age range, shape or form the women fall under. If these are not their preferences of women, just swiftly move aside for other great men to make ways that accept and understand the real meaning of worthy and calaf.
