Women who knows their men cheat but stay with them.

[Gibiin-Udug]

Is it self esteem? Is it love? Money? Or they're staying for the kids?

I personally know 3 women who's husbands are all cheating on them yet they put this front that they're the perfect husbands. I would be worried about diseases if I were them. How do you sleep next to someone knowing they were with other chicks.

 

[Grigori Rasputin]

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

Why do you cheat? Let's have a serious discussion.

 

[Grigori Rasputin]

Why do you cheat? Let's have a serious discussion.

This is pathetic on your part to accuse me of cheating. I flirt, I don't cheat. There's a difference dammit!

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

This is pathetic on your part to accuse me of cheating. I flirt, I don't cheat. There's a difference dammit!

Menace tell that to someone who's new to this site. Why're you defensive. Flirting is part of cheating. Lusting over another woman other than your wife is a form of cheating, thinking about sleeping with other women is another form of cheating.

 

[Grigori Rasputin]

Menace tell that to someone who's new to this site. Why're you defensive. Flirting is part of cheating. Lusting over another woman other than your wife is a form of cheating, thinking about sleeping with other women is another form of cheating.

I am a born again loyal man to my female.

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

I am a born again loyal man to my female.

What triggered you to be a born again?

 

[jugjugwacwac]

The funny thing is for the right kind of man u would stay too. On a subconscious level it lets women know that their man is desired by other women, which makes them even more attracted to him. This causes them to be more protective of their relationship and try to please him even more. But like I said this only works for the right kind of man, not all. If u cheat on a woman who knows she can do better than u, then ur toast. If u cheat on a woman who knows ur the best she'll ever have then she'll take out her anger on the side chicks and try to up her game to please u even more. It's just sexual/marriage economics 101.

 

[Mckenzie]

I find it hilarious when they (wife) can't understand why men cheat on them with women who may look less attractive or has worser features. Most of us don't purposely look for opportunities to cheat but there always seems to be a chance. Women are like candy, we can love eating haribos forever but if someone offers us a starbust we will be tempted

 

[madamelioness]

The funny thing is for the right kind of man u would stay too. On a subconscious level it lets women know that their man is desired by other women, which makes them even more attracted to him. This causes them to be more protective of their relationship and try to please him even more. But like I said this only works for the right kind of man, not all. If u cheat on a woman who knows she can do better than u, then ur toast. If u cheat on a woman who knows ur the best she'll ever have then she'll take out her anger on the side chicks and try to up her game to please u even more. It's just sexual/marriage economics 101.

The right kind of man does not cheat.

 

[jugjugwacwac]

The right kind of man does not cheat.

This is true morally speaking. But I wasn't speaking from a moral perspective. Reiko seemed perplexed, so I was explaining the underlying reasons why women stay with a cheating husband to give her some clarity on the issue. So I was being descriptive (what is) and not prescriptive (what ought to be).

 

[Zuleikha]

LoooL @ making excuses for cheating LMAO

Back to the topic most women stay in the marriage because of their kids. I know this woman who shocked everybody and stayed with her adulterer husband because she didn't want her two sons without father figure.

Mothers usually put their kids needs first.

 

[madamelioness]

This is true morally speaking. But I wasn't speaking from a moral perspective. Reiko seemed perplexed, so I was explaining the underlying reasons why women stay with a cheating husband to giver he some clarity on the issue. So I was being descriptive (what is) and not prescriptive (what ought to be).

Okay, understood. I disagree with the reasons they choose to stay I find that those women are usually mentally and emotionally broken. Thus they live in a state of perpetual denial and self doubt. They find it easier to pretend everything is golden than to face reality. There might also be a financial incentive and a need to provide a sense of security and a stable home for her children so she will sacrifice her emotional security for her children. Sadly these women often blame themselves for the infidelity of their husbands.

Adultery is one of the most despicable sins and it stands to reason why the punishment for it is so severe to act as a deterrent.

 

[jugjugwacwac]

Okay, understood. I disagree with the reasons they choose to stay I find that those women are usually mentally and emotionally broken. Thus they live in a state of perpetual denial and self doubt. They find it easier to pretend everything is golden than to face reality. There might also be a financial incentive and a need to provide a sense of security and a stable home for her children so she will sacrifice her emotional security for her children. Sadly these women often blame themselves for the infidelity of their husbands.

Adultery is one of the most despicable sins and it stands to reason why the punishment for it is so severe to act as a deterrent.

I agree with u and zuleikha that many will stay for other reasons, such as for financial reasons and giving their kids a stable two-parent home. But the reasons I gave are also a reality. Many women become even more possessive and clingy of their man when he cheats. They engage in this mate-guarding behaviour because the feel like they have a 'prize' that other women wanna take away from her. That's why their anger is directed at these women and not the husband. Not all women are like this, but many are.

As for adultery, yes, it's a horrible and despicable thing indeed.

 

[madamelioness]

I agree with u and zuleikha that many will stay for other reasons, such as for financial reasons and giving their kids a stable two-parent home. But the reasons I gave are also a reality. Many women become even more possessive and clingy of their man when he cheats. They engage in this mate-guarding behaviour because the feel like they have a 'prize' that other women wanna take away from her. That's why their anger is directed at these women and not the husband. Not all women are like this, but many are.

As for adultery, yes, it's a horrible and despicable thing indeed.

Men display gheerah for their wife, correct? And it's usually viewed in a positive manner but why is the gheerah women display for their husbands viewed in a negative way? Hada it seems like you are putting these women down for a natural inclination Allah swt has placed in their hearts.

 

[jugjugwacwac]

Men display gheerah for their wife, correct? And it's usually viewed in a positive manner but why is the gheerah women display for their husbands viewed in a negative way? Hada it seems like you are putting these women down for a natural inclination Allah swt has placed in their hearts.

A man who keeps a women who cheated on him isn't displaying gheera, but is displaying how much of a spineless despicable cuckold he is. Instead of being grateful his wife would in fact become disgusted that he would put up with such humiliation and end up leaving him for the other man or someone else or stay and continue cheating on the side. I lose all respect for a man who keeps a cheating wife, but in many cases I can respect and understand a women who keeps a cheating husband.

Gheera is making sure your wife and the womenfolk in your family dress and act modestly around non-mahram men and is the exact opposite of cuckold behaviour.

 

[madamelioness]

A man who keeps a women who cheated on him isn't displaying gheera, but is displaying how much of a spineless despicable cuckold he is. Instead of being grateful his wife would in fact become disgusted that he would put up with such humiliation and end up leaving him for the other man or someone else. I lose all respect for a man who keeps a cheating wife, but in many cases I can respect and understand a women who keeps a cheating husband.

Gheera is making sure your wife and the womenfolk in your family dress and act modestly around non-mahram men and is the exact opposite of cuckold behaviour.

I think you misunderstood walaal. Generally speaking the gheerah of men is looked at as a positive thing and a cheating wife is discarded but why can't a woman also feel gheerah for her husband? Why do you respect it if she stays with that sort of man? A man who can't even control his base desires and protect the honour of his wife. Or is he not required to honour her?

Gheerah isn't something limited to men alone. A woman also has a duty to protect and show sincere concern for his spiritual well-being ensuring he doesn't trangress the boundaries set by Allah swt.

 

[jugjugwacwac]

I think you misunderstood walaal. Generally speaking the gheerah of men is looked at as a positive thing and a cheating wife is discarded but why can't a woman also feel gheerah for her husband? Why do you respect it if she stays with that sort of man? A man who can't even control his base desires and protect the honour of his wife. Or is he not required to honour her?

Gheerah isn't something limited to men alone. A woman also has a duty to protect and show sincere concern for his spiritual well-being ensuring he doesn't trangress the boundaries set by Allah swt.

Oh so you mean gheera from the wife in this situation would be her getting rid of her cheating husband? If not, then I don't understand what u mean by gheera yet. If that is what you mean, then yes I totally respect that and think it's the right thing to do in most cases. I'm just saying I can still have a modicum of respect and understanding for a woman who stays in such a marriage, but I can't at all respect a man who does.

 

[madamelioness]

Oh so you mean gheera from the wife in this situation would be her getting rid of her cheating husband? If not, then I don't understand what u mean by gheera yet. If that is what you mean, then yes I totally respect that and think it's the right thing to do in most cases. I'm just saying I can still have a modicum of respect and understanding for a woman who stays in such a marriage, but I can't at all respect a man who does.

Yes, in this particular situation it would be a sense of gheerah to exit the marriage. I can understand why they stay and respect their decision but the reasons are varied. You based their decision to stay around the idea that the man is a "prized fish" but in most cases I think it's for their children. Although, I don't see the long-term benefits of staying with a liar and a cheater. Interestingly, women are more hurt by the lies than the actually cheating. Studies also show that men who cheat will continue to cheat so it's setting yourself up for a future of emotional turmoil and heartache.

 

[jugjugwacwac]

Yes, in this particular situation it would be a sense of gheerah to exit the marriage. I can understand why they stay and respect their decision but the reasons are varied. You based their decision to stay around the idea that the man is a "prized fish" but in most cases I think it's for their children. Although, I don't see the long-term benefits of staying with a liar and a cheater. Interestingly, women are more hurt by the lies than the actually cheating. Studies also show that men who cheat will continue to cheat so it's setting yourself up for a future of emotional turmoil and heartache.

Okay I get u now. Overall we're on the same page.