Bad relationship with hooyo

[seoulmates]

Anyone else here have a bad relationship with their hooyo? Like if me and her were to never talk ever again I would not gaf. All we do is have screaming matches ever since I’ve been 12.

 

[wonyluvr]

I hope everything gets better with you and your mum sis

 

[wonyluvr]

You should really talk to her about how you feel

 

[Homerlilian]

Anytime my Hoyoo annoys me I squeeeze her with a hug and kiss her on her forehead which she becomes annoyed by . Although I’m our relationship is not perfect it’s definitely healthy

just do what I did

 

[seoulmates]

You should really talk to her about how you feel

I’ve tried being vulnerable with her and it just turns into ammo she uses against me in fights. Never again.

 

[Homerlilian]

I’ve tried being vulnerable with her and it just turns into ammo she uses against me in fights. Never again.

Not generalising but according to my experience hoyoos tend to be harsh with their daughters

 

[wonyluvr]

I’ve tried being vulnerable with her and it just turns into ammo she uses against me in fights. Never again.

I’m sorry don’t pay her any mind sis it’ll all be okay

 

[Kizaru]

Anyone else here have a bad relationship with their hooyo? Like if me and her were to never talk ever again I would not gaf. All we do is have screaming matches ever since I’ve been 12.

i would suggest trying to keep yourself busy with other things.

 

[El Nino]

For the sake of Allah SWT try to better your realtionship with your mother. Be nice, ask her how her day is, help her etc. Thsts our duty as children.

 

[Khanderson]

For the sake of Allah SWT try to better your realtionship with your mother. Be nice, ask her how her day is, help her etc. Thsts our duty as children.

I’m not sure if I speak for the whole people on this forum. But parents that have more than three kids relatives will become competitive on each other. Relatives wanted to see who’d garnish more respect from their parents.

If a son or daughter act too nice towards their parents they’ll act the same but start showing off on each other.

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[The alchemist]

Trust me, if your mother died you'd have too many regrets. Have patience, try your best, and never give up on your mother no matter what.

 

[Sup]

Anyone else here have a bad relationship with their hooyo? Like if me and her were to never talk ever again I would not gaf. All we do is have screaming matches ever since I’ve been 12.

That resentment and animosity your feeling right now, will only get worse over time. You need to have a proper sit down with your hoyoo, and have a heart to heart. If it doesn’t work out then you know that you tried, but be respectful about it, she’s still your hoyoo. God bless.

 

[RedBlue911]

Buy her something nice and ask her what she needs help with around the home. This will make her feel guilty and boom situation solved.

 

[Kalsoon]

Maybe things will get calmer as you mature/get older…Don’t fall for the trap that is cutting off your parents. It’s most definitely not worth it if you’re Muslim. Learn about why the fighting is occurring and find ways to resolve that. Excuse her as hooyo could have so many factors contributing to her treatment of you. Make a concentrated effort to pray for her guidance and a better relationship between you both. Love her as she is not as how you wish she would be. You won’t be able to change your hooyo but you can reform yourself. Remember how hooyo raised you from dependency to independence.

I wouldn’t advise you to try to pour your heart to your hooyo as others have suggested. It will backfire if your parent is emotionally immature. The reaction to your vulnerability may not be something that’ll improve the relationship. It might make it worse. Guys advising you don’t have the same experience as us gabdho. Hooyo deserved a second chance every single time abaayo. Everyone else can be cut off but never be the person who cuts off their parents. No one will be able to fill their shoes in your life.

 

[KinsiHilaac]

I’ve tried being vulnerable with her and it just turns into ammo she uses against me in fights. Never again.

Somali moms are insufferable like that. Be patient till you move out she will act nice all of a sudden

Also remember she´s the one who should be the parent so do not attempt to take blame for her being an incompetent one. Many in our somali community have kids before understanding what it actually takes to take care of one. They are just winging it tbh they are doing the best they can, just try not being collateral damage sis, you always come first

 

[Bari]

You only get one so try to be as nice to her as possible, when you get married insha’allah things may get better as distance makes the hearts grow fonder.