Brothers: Would you marry a spouse your parents dont approve of??

[Sufiyan]

Yes , thats true but the thing is I can only see myself with a somali one but If I was in your shoes there must be something really really special about her to even consider marry imo

Are you talking about marrying an ajnabi???

 

[Nabeel786]

Depends on situation, but the spouse you willing to settle down with you have to tell your parents and discuss with them, if they say no, and you love her leave your parent's thought a side and make your own decision. There was a Hadeeth says "The only time your parents can disagree with something is when you want to get married. Allah wa'lam.

 

[Mercury]

Are you talking about marrying an ajnabi???

yes cause i pictured myself in your shoes

 

[Sufiyan]

Depends on situation, but the spouse you willing to settle down with you have to tell your parents and discuss with them, if they say no, and you love her leave your parent's thought a side and make your own decision. There was a Hadeeth says "The only time your parents can disagree with something is when you want to get married. Allah wa'lam.

Good stuff bro. Could you give me a proper citation for that hadith??? I have never read it before. Jazakullah khair.

 

[Asma]

For me this is a troubling issue. Islamically I know as a man I dont at all need the approval of my future spouse from my parents for my marriage to be valid. Essentially the ideal woman my mother would want me to marry is just not the woman I see myself marrying at all and the ideal woman I would one day love to marry is not a woman my mother would ever accept as my spouse. That is my dilemma. I dont want to gain the displeasure of my parents but I also would not force myself into a marriage only to please them. What about you guys. How important is the approval of your parents of your future wives??

Listen to your parents, and just marry a Somali girl.Life is already hard, no need to complicate things. Time heals everything, you will move on from this ajanabi girl but a rift with your family will be more difficult to fix. There are plenty of cute,smart, cultured, career-driven Somali girls out there, so there is absolutely no need for any Somali man to marry out.

 

[Nabeel786]

Depends on situation, but the spouse you willing to settle down with you have to tell your parents and discuss with them, if they say no, and you love her leave your parent's thought and make your own decision. There was a Hadeeth says "The only time your parents can disagree with something is the you want get married. Allah wa'lam

Good stuff bro. Could you give me a proper citation for that hadith??? I have never read it before. Jazakullah khair.

Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The parents have no right to force their son to marry someone he does not want. Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen (i.e., Ibn Taymiyah – may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Neither of the parents has the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses then he is not sinning by disobeying them, because no one has the right to force him to eat food he finds off-putting when there is food that he wants to eat, and marriage is like that and more so. Food that one is forced to eat is unpleasant for a short while, but a forced marriage lasts for a long time, and it harms a person and he cannot leave it.

 

[Nabeel786]

@Sufiyan. What should you do when your parents don’t approve of the person you want to marry even though he or she is a good Muslim?

• Of course you could argue with your parents and ruin your relationship with them.
• You could determine that you plan to marry the person you’ve chosen whether they like it or not.

SOURCE: http://www.muslimmarriageguide.com/when-parents-dont-approve/

 

[Nabeel786]

Another hadeeth: "A [girl who was not married] came to the Messenger of God and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice." (Abu Da'ud, on the authority of Ibn 'Abbas)

 

[Animal4321]

I've been in this situation. It was close relatives ( father/mother figures) who were resisting me marying a non Somali. In a respectful way I told them that rejecting someone on the basis of country origin is against our religion and values. Alhamdullilah though it turned out fine and I've not faced any hardship from it. Sure it can be challenging getting both families to communicate and understand each other but its definitely worth it for the right person.

Everyone should evaluate their situation. I've heard of mothers who curse their children for marrying outside their tribe/country of origin.

 

[Storm]

I think it's wise to introduce your parents or make your parents aware of a person you're seeing.
This way if they have any legitimate objections you can back out before developing serious feelings. Unless your parents are illogical lunatics, it's wise to get their blessing.

 

[Sufiyan]

Listen to your parents, and just marry a Somali girl.Life is already hard, no need to complicate things. Time heals everything, you will move on from this ajanabi girl but a rift with your family will be more difficult to fix. There are plenty of cute,smart, cultured, career-driven Somali girls out there, so there is absolutely no need for any Somali man to marry out.

I am going to have to respectfully disagree with you on this abaayo. I simply cannot just marry a girl I am not interested in simply to please my family. It would not be fair to me and would more importantly not be fair to her at all. You are right there are plenty of cute, smart, cultured, and career driven Somali girls out there just as there Somali guys who fit that description. If an irrelevant number of us marry out that wont change anything in the long run at all. Somali girls still have plenty of options to choose from.