Can someone explain why men hate hypergamy so much?

[x z]

you should marry a man who is pious and not worry so much about money

Should she marry a man who is religiously-committed but poor? - Islam Question & Answer

islamqa.info

women going for guys with money rather than valuing a man for his piety- it is a fact of life like men going for a woman based on her looks rather than her piety..... but these behaviors are lacking in virtue. there will be men and women who are lacking in virtue but there will be others who are more virtuous. a man should seek a woman who is pious and a woman who is lacking in virtue he will pass by insha'Allah

wow, so is hypergamy kinda considered haram then? lotta somali discussing mehr will not want to hear this lmao

 

[Omar del Sur]

wow, so is hypergamy kinda considered haram then? lotta somali discussing mehr will not want to hear this lmao

I wouldn't say it's haraam. also, I believe that according to some old books of Islamic law, a woman should not marry a man who is lower than herself in social terms. for example, a woman who is a ceo shouldn't marry a janitor. but this is a recommendation- it's not absolutely forbidden, just a recommendation.

And look at Khadijah. She was a wealthy business woman and she married Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

I'm not going to tell you that you're a bad person if you dream of some billionaire falling in love with you. Don't us men want a woman who is good-looking?

But you should go for a man who is pious. I would recommend that he make at least as much money as you or more. But the piety is most important.

Even myself- if I have to choose between a pious woman who is physically less beautiful and an impious woman who is physically more beautiful, insha'Allah, I hope I choose the first. I wouldn't say it's haraam if I choose the second but it's better if I go for the first.


*I think this was from Imam Nawawi but I have to check

 

[Lostbox]

This whole thing sounds unrealistic. Only women do this are the top 1%, I still don't understand the whole whatever thing

 

[NotreDame]

So does hypergamy factor solely on money? If that's the case then I disagree, hypergamy isn't common and it's a stupid idea.

Women go for the best they can get, so do men. It just so happens women value wealth a little more than men than men do when they're determining the value of a spouse. You could say a man is hypergamous in that he searches for the prettiest women or whatever women that fits his checklist. No man or woman would go for someone when they see someone even better. The idea of hypergamy is ok and extremely common. But associating hypergamy purely with wealth is ludicrous. I know many women would rather be with a man that they find attractive who makes six figures vs an ugly old man who's a millionaire.

 

[Karim]

The answer is two words: Natural Selection.

Women tend to choose their spouses based on security (money). She'd most likely choose a partner that can take care of her and the future of her offsprings.

Men are the opposite. They love to be needed and considered as an absolute necessity for the survival of the family. Such responsibility motivates the men to do more and succeed.

Usually men get depressed and grow more and more despondent if they wed a woman from higher caste or wealthier than them. That relationship is doomed to fail and crumble.

 

[MadMullah99]

Personally I want my relationship to be based on Love, respect and intrinsic value. A hypergamous woman can do what the hell she likes! BUT shouldn't cry on the net when he cheats or tells her to gtfo when he is done.

Every time that happens I simply bring my popcorn. No way in hell I am paying for no Woman anything that is not necessary as I respect myself unlike these simps.

Women want equality and pay in the workplace yet want to be hypergamous LOL.