Confessions about being exposed to p0rñography, gore and sexuality at a young age

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Bantu Liberation Movement
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I’m ngl I’ve been through some shit when I was young, some sexual it was mainly other kids my age playing secret games of ‘house’ but 1 that was a lot older I wanna forget about that though.

I was exposed to sexuality by the age of 6, I think my family lowkey knew because there were alot of weird things I used to search up when I was young from 6-12. I was so fascinated by girls kissing and would watch that on the family computer when everyone left. 💀

I was also showed ography and gore from like 6 too? I remember going with my hooyo to different kids houses, she would always visit her friends at their homes but they would never come to ours lol. So I would be staying there and playing with the other kids while the moms were gossiping for 3+ hours.

I saw heads getting chopped off, I remember 2 girls 1 cup, 1 man shoving something up his ass. Just really graphic shit that wasn’t normal and the kids would challenge each other on who would watch it. Also at school, by the time I was in 6th grade the boys had phones and would show the girls pôrn to scare them.

I think that’s part of the reason I started gaining weight as a kid, the stress and guilt of these things ate at me.

Kenya was worst of all, the kids in my school there are perverted as shit! There were some 15 yr old girls watching the raunchiest shit and recommending erotic wattpad books and some of the boys would brag about sleeping with local women. The men mainly Kenyan Bantu men were extremely perverted and would harass and grope me when we moved to eastleigh.

My moms sister is crazy and was married to a Bantu looking man from Ethiopia (though I doubt he’s actually from there) and he used to sexually harass the shit out of me when my mom left for 2 1/2 months. Funny because she was worried about my 21 yr old brother living with her and ran to Kenya to protect him but when he went to Egypt she left me a 13 yr old girl there for 3 months 💀 she basically gave these ppl the green light for both to abuse me. He never hit me though..

When I told my sister about it, she stayed silent and never mentioned it again, when I told my mom she called me a liar lollll I had a lot of behavioral issues and would argue with my family and they would just kick me out (previous thread on that lol)

I had major sexuality problems and honestly I still do, I want to marry a man but I feel ashamed asf. I feel disgusted even accidentally seeing a dock on twitter and don’t like physical contact with men at all. I give guys I like the face and never trust them. Tbh I feel guilty because I kind of hate them, like a underlying hatred where I wouldn’t care if one was dying and needed help.

I feel disgusted for feeling that way, I want a family and a life but I feel like I’ve seen way too much and I’m way too disturbed to even consider it.

Any men on here who have daughters, take care of them, look after them and protect them. A woman is incapable of doing it herself, especially with several children. They just trust anyone….

Also the usual guys who say “your lying” “your caasi” “why do we need to know everything about your life” 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ I can’t afford a $150 a session therapist sooooooo… I also don’t give af if people know lol
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I wish I could have protected you.
 
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