Do any of y'all no longer care

[greenvegetables]

At this point I might as well settle down with the first financially stable dude with a similar background and goals. I've accepted recently that although I am quite literally obsessed with my crush we will never ever be together for a number of reasons. I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone as i've loved him so at this point I'm going with the flow. I keep turning down proposals mainly because I don't swirl and it's always Arab men with interest. If salafi Idris Elba doesn't arrive soon I'm accepting the first Ahmed in line with good deen and dowry money. I could use it for textbooks.


Also side note, I'm just being crazy. I know Allah azza wajjal is the best of Planners. I'm just being ranty.

 

[SOULSEARCHING]

At this point I might as well settle down with the first financially stable dude with a similar background and goals. I've accepted recently that although I am quite literally obsessed with my crush we will never ever be together for a number of reasons. I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone as i've loved him so at this point I'm going with the flow. I keep turning down proposals mainly because I don't swirl and it's always Arab men with interest. If salafi Idris Elba doesn't arrive soon I'm accepting the first Ahmed in line with good deen and dowry money. I could use it for textbooks.


Also side note, I'm just being crazy. I know Allah azza wajjal is the best of Planners. I'm just being ranty.

I can feel your pain, I get mainly Arabs and Turks asking me for marriage, they aren't bad looking either and they have money, but I want a Somali dude, not one from Africa lol cause those are the ones hollering at me the most, the ones here are not financially ready or good looking. This is mucjiso so sister.

 

[karkaar]

Dont settle, u live one life.Think hard about what u really want and go for it.

 

[Chun Li]

Why can’t you have a relationship with your crush? It seems as though you really like him, so why not go for him?

 

[Rasheedosman619]

If salafi Idris Elba doesn't arrive soon I'm accepting the first Ahmed in line



On a side note welcome to The Abdi gang sister ❤

 

[greenvegetables]

Why can’t you have a relationship with your crush? It seems as though you really like him, so why not go for him?

1. He's not Muslim

2. I met him before I became super practicing and we were friends and I think he liked me but I ruined the friendship and he had to cut me off lol

3. He has a gf he's in love with. She's perfect for him and they seem to bring out the best in each other

4. I can't be what he wants. I'm legit crazy and it used to overwhelm him when we were buds lol.

 

[greenvegetables]

Yeah I'll never end up with him. I'm perfectly fine being single forever, men are usually nuisances anyway, but I want dowry money and land and I'm tired of working while going to school. And I want kids too. I feel like a two parent household is better than one.

 

[Singularity]

I'm perfectly fine being single forever, men are usually nuisances anyway

It doesn't seem like you really believe in this sentiment.

 

[Singularity]

I can feel your pain, I get mainly Arabs and Turks asking me for marriage, they aren't bad looking either and they have money, but I want a Somali dude, not one from Africa lol cause those are the ones hollering at me the most, the ones here are not financially ready or good looking. This is mucjiso so sister.

Who's financially sub-par and not good looking that you're not interested in?

 

[greenvegetables]

It doesn't seem like you believe in this statement.

If I wasn't making $8 an hour and walking an hour to work I wouldn't think twice about XY. I'm diagnosed with PTSD and having males in my space is very exhausting, performative, and at times scary for me. Also they just tend to suck to be honest. Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.

 

[SOULSEARCHING]

Who's financially sub-par and not good looking that you're not interested in?

There are good looking guys in my city but they are in the drill scene or not working/studying.

 

[Singularity]

If I wasn't making $8 an hour and walking an hour to work I wouldn't think twice about XY. I'm diagnosed with PTSD and having males in my space is very exhausting, performative, and at times scary for me. Also they just tend to suck to be honest. Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.

I didn't know you had PTSD, May Allah swt make it easy for you.

 

[SOULSEARCHING]

If I wasn't making $8 an hour and walking an hour to work I wouldn't think twice about XY. I'm diagnosed with PTSD and having males in my space is very exhausting, performative, and at times scary for me. Also they just tend to suck to be honest. Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.

How did you develop PTSD?

 

[greenvegetables]

I didn't know you had PTSD, May Allah swt make it easy for you.

Jazakallah khayran

 

[Shimbiris]

At this point I might as well settle down with the first financially stable dude with a similar background and goals. I've accepted recently that although I am quite literally obsessed with my crush we will never ever be together for a number of reasons. I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone as i've loved him so at this point I'm going with the flow. I keep turning down proposals mainly because I don't swirl and it's always Arab men with interest. If salafi Idris Elba doesn't arrive soon I'm accepting the first Ahmed in line with good deen and dowry money. I could use it for textbooks.

Love? He's a crush, abaayo. Forgive me but I don't think you can claim to love someone you don't truly know, particularly in the setting of a relationship.

 

[greenvegetables]

How did you develop PTSD?

Continuous trauma throughout my life from various areas. Mainly familial and otherwise

 

[Singularity]

Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.

No offense, but I find that it's a common thing online that some young women, who are single, tend to think every guy around them is sub-par, do they actually believe this is the case, or is that a coping strategy until they find a good man, then the men around are suddenly decent.

 

[greenvegetables]

Love? He's a crush, abaayo. Forgive me but I don't think you can claim to love someone you don't truly know, particularly in the setting of a relationship.

I admitted we used to be friends before I became more serious with my deen and cut non mahram males from my life. I initially didn't like him. I fell in love because he was genuinely one of the first people to care about me. Down to the small things. I'm still not used to people being invested in my safety or wellbeing. He was the first and will probably be the last...

 

[greenvegetables]

No offense, but I find that it's a common thing online that some young women, who are single, tend to think every guy around them is sub-par, do they actually believe this is the case, or is that a coping strategy until they find a good man, then the men around are suddenly decent.

Idk what you mean. 25% of my city lives in poverty. I spent most of my childhood in poverty sometimes being homeless and moving a lot. These are the males that are accessible to me.

 

[Shimbiris]

I admitted we used to be friends before I became more serious with my deen and cut non mahram males from my life. I initially didn't like him. I fell in love because he was genuinely one of the first people to care about me. Down to the small things. I'm still not used to people being invested in my safety or wellbeing. He was the first and will probably be the last...

I understand and I don't think he will be the last, abaayo. There are good people out there, I promise you. I just meant that you might change your mind if you were truly with him in a relationship (not a friendship) like actually being married, living together, being around each other 24/7, seeing his worst sides, getting into arguments and fights. If you still care intensely and unquestioningly to a heart-aching point for someone after all that then it's love but without that I personally think the person is being a bit naive but I mean no offense when I say that.