Do you have good social skills?

[Febbie]

I'm starting to realise that as I get older the more importance I place on good social skills.

I feel my dysfunctional Somali upbringing has ill equipped me with poor social skills to the point where someone I know closely, assumed I was autistic WTF.

Am I that bad?!? Wow

If you think about it, throughout all your life you will be interacting with people - always. Literally. So having good interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence (as opposed to IQ) is extremely valuable.

Any suggestions on how to improve great social skills? Serious question.

All opinions welcome. Cheers!

 

[Idilinaa]

I feel my dysfunctional Somali upbringing has ill equipped me with poor social skills to the point where someone I know closely, assumed I was autistic WTF.

Most Somalis are known to be social butterflies, they love to talk and socializing with people, and can't stop talking to an almost point of annoyance. They always have large groups of friends, they need to walk in groups and have long list of phone contacts.

Seriously they can stop talking, can't stop cracking jokes and telling stories etc. flippin blabber mouths

Even when you don't want to socialize you are pretty much forced into it by family and those around you. In a Somali household you are lucky if people leave you with some alone time.

Any suggestions on how to improve great social skills? Serious question.

All opinions welcome. Cheers!

Put yourself out there and interact with others, pick up on social cues. Simple as that.

 

[Sol]

Read how to win friends by Dale Carnegie teaches how to talk and socialise in both formal and informal settings a good read honestly

 

[Angelina]

Somalis tend to be social butterflies that can’t help but befriend the whole world. The fobbier the more social although a lot of it is genetics since even kids born and raised in the West also have similar traits. When I was younger I was like that. Couldn’t help but talk to the whole world, in fact I was known as a chatter box. However, now I’m a lot quieter and prefer to observe rather than talking and entertaining all the time. I’ve also become rather shy and now large groups for long periods of time drain me.

I think moderation is key. Be social and bubbly when needed but learning to reining it in and observing and not excessively talk is important as well.

However in saying that, I’m noticing that GenZ and younger UK millennials have issues with opening up and socializing and I think it’s mainly due to growing up in the West and at a time in which kids are mostly online and parents aren’t as social as they used to due now having to work so people aren’t as community oriented.

I think the poster above reccommed a book and I think people should read it. For the under 25s the biggest investment is working on your social skills, you’ll get far if you’re able to be bubbly and likeable in the right setting. Put yourself out there and be fearless and charming like Somalis are naturally known to be!

 

[TekNiKo]

I have great social skills, I love chatting up fellow Somalis. My somali profiency is so high, many people assume I am Reer Gobol due to my Mudug accent. It really helps in Eastleigh and Bakaara suuq as a diaspora will get absolutely scammed with by the locals.

Alhamdillah my parents instilled great Somali in me as a youth. Nothing is more cringe than a dayuusboora with limited gaagaa Somali. Waa lagu qoslaa.

I noticed majority of Diasporas are autistic and cant even look you in the eye!

 

[Khaemwaset]

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[Sa_Male]

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I befriended my Indian taxi driver today, he told me he loves curry.

 

[Khanderson]

Somalis tend to be social butterflies that can’t help but befriend the whole world. The fobbier the more social although a lot of it is genetics since even kids born and raised in the West also have similar traits. When I was younger I was like that. Couldn’t help but talk to the whole world, in fact I was known as a chatter box. However, now I’m a lot quieter and prefer to observe rather than talking and entertaining all the time. I’ve also become rather shy and now large groups for long periods of time drain me.

I think moderation is key. Be social and bubbly when needed but learning to reining it in and observing and not excessively talk is important as well.

However in saying that, I’m noticing that GenZ and younger UK millennials have issues with opening up and socializing and I think it’s mainly due to growing up in the West and at a time in which kids are mostly online and parents aren’t as social as they used to due now having to work so people aren’t as community oriented.

I think the poster above reccommed a book and I think people should read it. For the under 25s the biggest investment is working on your social skills, you’ll get far if you’re able to be bubbly and likeable in the right setting. Put yourself out there and be fearless and charming like Somalis are naturally known to be!

well said.

 

[Idilinaa]

Autism is a neurological brain disorder that effects people of all ethnicities, races, sexes. It's not a Somali diaspora trait.

It has nothing to do with your social skills(skills are something you can improve on) and your upbringing. Yall can continue to force this Autism angle as much you like . It's not going to make us all autistic and lacking in social skills.

And Somali culture is more social and communicative in nature, unlike in say Japan or in Scanadinavia where their culture tend to be more asocial in nature, where people keep a personal space from eachother. American culture is more of a social culture too.

So its equally inaccurate to say your lack of social skills is due to a Somali upbringing.

Somalis tend to be social butterflies that can’t help but befriend the whole world. The fobbier the more social although a lot of it is genetics since even kids born and raised in the West also have similar traits.

Genetics??? I think its more about social environment.

 

[Khaemwaset]

I befriended my Indian taxi driver today, he told me he loves curry.

Never forget that Eritrean uber who clutched my interview 2 weeks back

 

[empressjamila]

Yes I’ve been told I’m good at socializing and easy to talk to. I wasn’t always this way though. I was very shy and awkward as a child.

Social skills are like any other skill. They can be improved over time. Just get out there and talk to people. And if you know anyone who’s very charming and outgoing, observe them, see what they do to make people feel comfortable and copy them. Eventually it will become second nature.

 

[empressjamila]

Somalis tend to be social butterflies that can’t help but befriend the whole world. The fobbier the more social although a lot of it is genetics since even kids born and raised in the West also have similar traits. When I was younger I was like that. Couldn’t help but talk to the whole world, in fact I was known as a chatter box. However, now I’m a lot quieter and prefer to observe rather than talking and entertaining all the time. I’ve also become rather shy and now large groups for long periods of time drain me.

I think moderation is key. Be social and bubbly when needed but learning to reining it in and observing and not excessively talk is important as well.

However in saying that, I’m noticing that GenZ and younger UK millennials have issues with opening up and socializing and I think it’s mainly due to growing up in the West and at a time in which kids are mostly online and parents aren’t as social as they used to due now having to work so people aren’t as community oriented.

I think the poster above reccommed a book and I think people should read it. For the under 25s the biggest investment is working on your social skills, you’ll get far if you’re able to be bubbly and likeable in the right setting. Put yourself out there and be fearless and charming like Somalis are naturally known to be!

I think that’s a generalization.

My father is as fob as they come but he’s definitely introverted and keeps to himself. I’ve met people back home who were more quiet as well.

Are most Somalis loud and talkative, sure. But there’s many quiet Somalis too. Whether someone is introverted or extroverted largely depends on genetics too, so clearly introversion exists within Somalis

 

[Angelina]

I think that’s a generalization.

My father is as fob as they come but he’s definitely introverted and keeps to himself. I’ve met people back home who were more quiet as well.

Are most Somalis loud and talkative, sure. But there’s many quiet Somalis too. Whether someone is introverted or extroverted largely depends on genetics too, so clearly introversion exists within Somalis

Of course it does, my uncle is probably the most introverted person ever. My statement is general and doesn’t speak for the many introverted older gen, but I have noticed they’re a minority and life back home kinda forces you to open up some how. People tend to invade your personal space why a lot are extroverted or introverted forced to mingle.

 

[Sa_Male]

Never forget that Eritrean uber who clutched my interview 2 weeks back

You never forget boss man
As long as its bossmen coming in, I support immigration

 

[Sa_Male]

I think that’s a generalization.

My father is as fob as they come but he’s definitely introverted and keeps to himself. I’ve met people back home who were more quiet as well.

Are most Somalis loud and talkative, sure. But there’s many quiet Somalis too. Whether someone is introverted or extroverted largely depends on genetics too, so clearly introversion exists within Somalis

My hoyos aabo is very introverted too, barely talks, and stays out of your way kinda guy.
Loves wandering in the miyi with his camels by himself as well, he got lost once and we almost didn't find him.

Awoowo is such a vibe

Introverted somalis defintely do exist but they're like 20 30% imo