For the brothers, which means more to you

[bluebird]

Majority isn't that a bit exaggerating the numbers? I mean scientifically speaking we need valid data and not gut feelings to arrive at such conclusion. As I see it there's nothing wrong with playing video games but the weed is an issue.

majority is a bit of exaggeration, but its enough that its a big problem.

 

[Samaalic Era]

I dont understand what you mean with honour from your original post I get raising family and such is that it?

Would you put your family first or money, not to say that you are broke but rather would you be willing to save less money to accommodate your families needs

 

[Abdisamad]

majority is a bit of exaggeration, but its enough that its a big problem.

Yes I agree there's an issue of drug abuse, crime and unemployment issues in the Somali diaspora community but these are things that are caused by the environment some of us live in i.e social housing, being dependent on welfare and absent fathers in some households.

 

[bluebird]

Yes I agree there's an issue of drug abuse, crime and unemployment issues in the Somali diaspora community but these are things that are caused by the environment some of us live in i.e social housing, being dependent on welfare and absent fathers in some households.

thats not a good excuse. you still make your own choices.

 

[Marsh]

@Basic I stopped hanging around with this girl when I was 12 years old because all she kept talking about was marriage and her wedding day where she would invite britney spears to sing. The men on this forum are twice as delusional and twice as obsessive about this topic. Why can't they be like Aussie? He never used to talk about this crap.

If I were to guess your dream wedding day im picturing a very small humble wedding you might even post on social media about how awful and evil huge weddings are to appeal to men.

 

[CaliTedesse]

Would you put your family first or money, not to say that you are broke but rather would you be willing to save less money to accommodate your families needs

Hell yeah bro wtf

 

[CaliTedesse]

What the hell are people arguing about markaa in this thread? what is there to argue about anyone who decides to spend less on family is greedy as f*ck and the greedy get cursed

 

[Afrique]

If I were to guess your dream wedding day im picturing a very small humble wedding you might even post on social media about how awful and evil huge weddings are to appeal to men.

when have I ever appealed to men. You crack me up.

 

[Abdisamad]

thats not a good excuse. you still make your own choices.

I wasn't trying to make any excuses just highlighting the root cause of the issues.

 

[Marsh]

when have I ever appealed to men. You crack me up.

their is a first for everything

 

[Zucchini]

The best advice i would give to the young Somali men on this is site from my experience is if you ever get married to make sure ur wife works 12hr shift or to get her pregnant every month

Her sitting at home all day long watching Tv and drinking juices is honestly a recipe for disaster and drama

To survive the brutality of marriage is important to keep ur wife's mind occupied with and tired with many kids or work so that u can have a me time with yourself and your dreams and aspirations.

 

[Sakiin]

@Samaalic Era - Asc Bro long time.

In regards to the topic. Bro it’s always honour over money no doubt. The biggest capital a man has is his children. Your children are a part of you and you are a part of them. The benefits of investing in your children is worth more than any amount of money you could possibly save.

Btw about letting your wife work or you as a man shouldering the bill?

Ideally a man should support his wife and she should take care of his children and household...being a mother and a wife wallahi is a full time job in itself. Laakin if you are living in the west, the reality is that unless you have a high income it’s really difficult to follow the ideal. The west’s economy is setup in such a way that it requires both partners to work in order to live a good quality of life for both you and your children.

For a woman to work in an environment with non mahram men it is a no no on so many scales. It leads to a lot of fitna as we see by all the extra marital relationships in the workplace. Plus being a Muslim woman it’s very difficult for them to find jobs where they can even dress islamically.

However, bro it is down to you, your wife and your situation. Do you have the means to support her and your children in order to have a good life? Does she want to stay at home or work?

Some women would love to stay at home and be doted on... others want that bit of independence and want to work and earn money.

Me personally if my wife hadi tahay qof wax baratay and enjoys her job I would let her work. However, if she doesn’t really have a profession and working is more like a means to survive I would tell her to stop working. The most important thing in a relationship is discussing things...taking into consideration what the other person wants.

Bro everything isn’t black and white. Especially in the times we are living in...so you have to find your balance and what works for you.

 

[المهندس]

Whats amazing is how you guys can maintain grudges over anonymous people.

 

[Juke]

Obviously money.

If the wife and kids become ruined in the process I can always get new ones.