Growing up without a father

[Mercury]

I feel you man. Just remember though there's a lot of people in the same situation and some even worse.

I can relate because my biological father divorced my mom for no reason when I was still in the womb. Growing up he was just a couple hours away and even know he lives 20min away but I never see him. Probably see him like once every 3-5 years. Worst part is he's fucking loaded, and he offers me 0 financial support. I'm out here working full time and going to school full time so I can help hooyo pay bills and pay my own tuition. He knows this too and doesn't offer any financial assistance.

Tbh I was never a emotional nigga I don't really care if that nigga is in my life or not, my hoyo is amazing and makes up for his existence. Only thing that gets to me is how he hid his kids from my and never let me get the chance to get to know them. I met them in Somalia, all 9 of em. It was really heart warming cuz they all loved me a lot and looked up to me a lot cuz I was their big brother. Shit broke my heart yo I was like damn. Mercury sxb just make sure you a good father. It sucks but jus cuz we can all reproduce doesn't mean all of us are capable and competent parents.

I agree the thing is i dont hate him its just that hes so cold and I feel like he never cared about me and my siblings.

He never visited us even though we lived 10 min away.

And when I call him up just to catch up hes always "busy"

And worst of all whenever I see him in town and greet him and just make small talk if his with someone he never introduces me as his son "just friend"

 

[Queen Carawelo]

I think you should have a conversation with your father and tell him everything you're feeling, it will be the key for you to move on to the future. Communication is the key. I hope in the future you form a healthy relationship with your father.

 

[menace]

@Mercury ..Horta ma naag baad tahay mise nin?...also...you can't always blame it on the father ..you were too young to understand the circumstances and complexity ..just cause he had a second wife is not a basis to render him xaar...maybe speak to him and he can enlighten you !..maybe mother was a pain in the neck

 

[Queen Carawelo]

@Mercury ..Horta ma naag baad tahay mise naag?...also...you can't always blame it on the father ..you were too young to understand the circumstances ...maybe speak to him and he can enlighten you !..maybe mother was a pain in the neck

That was unnecessary menace. It doesn't matter what the mother was, a father should be in his kids lives no matter what. If you're man enough to lay down with the woman then be a man and take care of your offsprings.

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

I say take your kids from this Godforsaken place cause of feminism & how their juridicial system that overwhelmingly favours the mother over the father, we as men are reduced to nothing in the household with very little clout over the choices our kids make, the system indoctrinates them as they see fit.

 

[InaFreja]

And worst of all whenever I see him in town and greet him and just make small talk if his with someone he never introduces me as his son "just friend"

That's cold on his part, probably just trying to protect his male dignity and not be known as a deadbeat. My best advice would be to move on, you seem to be the only one trying to form a relationship here and he's clearly not interested. Cut him off bro

 

[Bielsa]

I wouldn't have the character traits I have if it wasn't for my dad. I credit him 70% for being the person I am. (30% my mum).

 

[sunflower]

I say take your kids from this Godforsaken place cause of feminism & how their juridicial system that overwhelmingly favours the mother over the father, we as men are reduced to nothing in the household with very little clout over the choices our kids make, the system indoctrinates them as they see fit.

Yeah let's blame the system and make excuses for deadbeat fathers....very low.

 

[Tokio]

I can never get mad at my dad....the fact that he saved my life when I was an infant from a burning house...walahi he even got the burn marks to show for it. he is my hero.

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

They get the man out the house then who will discipline that child & show it harsh love? Certainly not the mother cause she's just not built like that. They pit the woman against us to undermine us as a family unit. There is very little hope here in the west, I can assure you the machine you're facing working behind the scene is just too sophisticated & those that are working to build it can't even grasp it cause their work is Compartmentalized.

 

[Southerner]

Mothers nag a bit too much, I can understand why the nigga left sometimes

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

Yeah let's blame the system and make excuses for deadbeat fathers....very low.

What do you know of this man you're speaking down on? Let's not be too quick to judge, let's leave that to the best of those that judge Allah the most benevolent.

 

[Mercury]

@Mercury ..Horta ma naag baad tahay mise nin?...also...you can't always blame it on the father ..you were too young to understand the circumstances and complexity ..just cause he had a second wife is not a basis to render him xaar...maybe speak to him and he can enlighten you !..maybe mother was a pain in the neck

Every time Ive brought up the subject he says its none of your business i stopped caring long time ago

 

[syntax]

I agree the thing is i dont hate him its just that hes so cold and I feel like he never cared about me and my siblings.

He never visited us even though we lived 10 min away.

And when I call him up just to catch up hes always "busy"

And worst of all whenever I see him in town and greet him and just make small talk if his with someone he never introduces me as his son "just friend"

Damn bro that's pretty cold. Yeah man my dad is a douchebag too. I know some of u gnna be like astagfirullah don't say that and shit but idc that's the truth. Mercury u got a good mindset tho..if he ever needs your support when u r older u can't snake him or else you aren't any better than him you feel me? Everyone has family problems bro it is what it is, you just gotta deal with that shit

 

[Rooble]

I'm not a dickhead but he turned out well didn't he. He got a job and said it's not like he didn't achieve what he wanted in life. He concluded himself that it's not the end of the world like some Western brats make it out to be. "Oh look at me I didn't grow up with my dad" So why is it still bothering him?

It seems he grew up with his dad till the age of -7-8 seeing that's when the arguments began. He at least saw his Dad. there are people that have never seen their dad or have gone through far worse things. He grew out to be a better person than his dad. He became a stronger individual. Move on stop calaacling like a little girl. You care about your relationship with you dad. You contact him so he can give up this wrongdoing, establishes equal treatment of his families, and sets straight what he has done wrong. If he doesn't want to work to with you for the sake of Allah (swt). Just let it be. Clearly your dad has neglected his obligations as a Father/Muslim. So let Allah (swt) deal with him in the afterlife. Or you can keep trying, because ties of kinship are very important in Islam and gain hasanaat from it.

There are far more worse things happening to other people. Keep your chin up and move the f*ck on.

Verily, after hardship comes ease.

 

[Sultana]

@RoobleAlWaliid That's really insensitive. Even if things could be worse, you know that Mercury sharing his story could benefit someone who grew up without a father in their life.

 

[RedStar]

@Mercury I guess you should be thankful to your father because he showed your exactly how a father shouldn't treat his family. Your father's role in your life was and probably still is a life lesson.

 

[Reddington]

@Mercury please post your story on Somalisideways.

 

[sunflower]

I'm not a dickhead but he turned out well didn't he. He got a job and said it's not like he didn't achieve what he wanted in life. He concluded himself that it's not the end of the world like some Western brats make it out to be. "Oh look at me I didn't grow up with my dad" So why is it still bothering him?

It seems he grew up with his dad till the age of -7-8 seeing that's when the arguments began. He at least saw his Dad. there are people that have never seen their dad or have gone through far worse things. He grew out to be a better person than his dad. He became a stronger individual. Move on stop calaacling like a little girl. You care about your relationship with you dad. You contact him so he can give up this wrongdoing, establishes equal treatment of his families, and sets straight what he has done wrong. If he doesn't want to work to with you for the sake of Allah (swt). Just let it be. Clearly your dad has neglected his obligations as a Father/Muslim. So let Allah (swt) deal with him in the afterlife. Or you can keep trying, because ties of kinship are very important in Islam and gain hasanaat from it.

There are far more worse things happening to other people. Keep your chin up and move the f*ck on.

Verily, after hardship comes ease.

Why do you have to devalue his hardship as "calaacling like a little girl" that sad reality of Somalis men mentality have to face by wider community and the reason why they are so heartless and emotionless- when a young man like him express their feelings -they are belittle by the likes of you - just stop it- if you think you are helping -you aren't.
Plus Mercury just shared his experience and good for him and you can share yours or keep out of i

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

Why do you have to devalue his hardship as "calaacling like a little girl" that sad reality of Somalis men mentality have to face by wider community and the reason why they are so heartless and emotionless- when a young man like him express their feelings -they are belittle by the likes of you - just stop it- if you think you are helping -you aren't.
Plus Mercury just shared his experience and good for him and you can share yours or keep out of i

It is calaacaling pure & simple. Allah tests those he loves best.