Have you lost empathy?

[SOMALIKNIGHT]

Wallahi I was previously very kind hearted and always willing to help in my younger years but as I have aged, my empathy has left me. Today I was in the queue and a Christian African woman's card wasn't working and she had a few items I could have paid for but I decided not to. She had staple foods like milk and bread. She left the shop in agony. If it was a few years ago I would have helped but I have become a heartless person. I blame society wallahi. For years I have experienced and seen people who will cheat you, steal from you, wish bad upon you, not help you when you desperately need it but others expected it from you previously. I have lost all motivation to do anything for anyone unless it's my parents who ask (usually for other people) or wife.

Has anyone else become this way? Is it possible for your charitable personality to go back to what it once was? I feel this is wrong, especially during Ramadan. But it is not something that I can switch back easily

 

[Odkac WRLD]

Bad experiences have made me colder.
I am still a kind, fun person but I am just not that solid and loving person anymore.

 

[Caaro]

You’re not heartless, you do what you need to do. I’ve always been like this and I don’t feel guilty. Nice guys finish last. Look out for yourself, then look out for your family and friends. As soon as those 2 things are prospering (not just ok). Is the only time you can worry about others. It may be “selfish” but it’s what has to be done. Being uncharitable isn’t wrong, being stingy is. Just know how much to give and don’t keep giving.

 

[Marcus]

I've always been cold but I'm still empathetic.

There's smart empathy and being a dunce. For example you can't be a beggar in western Europe since there's a welfare state, so I don't pay money to the "poor". It's individualism in this part of the world.

 

[psyche]

Surprisingly I'm quite the opposite. But nobody really asks me for help because I'm not the most approachable person in the world. Even my friends aren't too keen to ask me for help.

Anything that isn't related to money since most people are struggling financial now myself included I would gladly help them.

 

[Grigori Rasputin]

I’ve became more giving. I give to the needy back home to erase my dambi.

but I have this no feeling when a bomb explodes in Somalia and people die. I just look at it as a national sport, a pastime

 

[Juke]

Yes, I think it's part of growing up from being an idealistic teenager and seeing the world for how it really is, it makes you colder. The world doesn't reward nice people, only the cold and selfish.

 

[SOMALIKNIGHT]

I tried to be more empathetic this Ramadan and it's impossible.

 

[Mehdi Hassan]

The news desensitized me. How can you feel sad about all those deaths and all that suffering?? It's too much.

 

[Phiirso]

How can you lose your empathy if you feel her distress? You chose not to help her and there is nothing wrong with that. But if you can feel another's pain/emotions you are an empathetic person.

Feeling guilty for not helping her is also a valid response. If you had a million bucks in the bank, you would've helped her to just alleviate yourself from the guilt you felt in that moment.

So really you just don't want to feel guilty. That's not how that works. You either feel her pain and help her as well as bypassing the feeling of guilt. Or you feel her pain in addition to the guilt that comes with feeling her pain and not helping her.

I say go outside and pour a gallon of Milk on her. You'll feel better, trust me.

 

[Octavian]

Wallahi I was previously very kind hearted and always willing to help in my younger years but as I have aged, my empathy has left me. Today I was in the queue and a Christian African woman's card wasn't working and she had a few items I could have paid for but I decided not to. She had staple foods like milk and bread. She left the shop in agony. If it was a few years ago I would have helped but I have become a heartless person. I blame society wallahi. For years I have experienced and seen people who will cheat you, steal from you, wish bad upon you, not help you when you desperately need it but others expected it from you previously. I have lost all motivation to do anything for anyone unless it's my parents who ask (usually for other people) or wife.

Has anyone else become this way? Is it possible for your charitable personality to go back to what it once was? I feel this is wrong, especially during Ramadan. But it is not something that I can switch back easily

Yes

 

[Abdillahi]

No. But as you get older you realise Humankind is fucked up beyond redemption and so you adapt and help were you can.

 

[Mahacagalla]

I was shamed last year when I got off the bus and a homeless drunk vagrant was out of it on the sidewalk and I just walked right past him like he wasn’t human but the bus driver and other passenger that got off checked in on him and called an ambulance.
I actually care about social issues but I guess the problems we face in life make our hearts get blacker as we age. In this case I was working a late night job that had a long commute and didn’t care if that guy was dead.

 

[Mahacagalla]

No. But as you get older you realise Humankind is fucked up beyond redemption and so you adapt and help were you can.

 

[Desert Flower]

I was shamed last year when I got off the bus and a homeless drunk vagrant was out of it on the sidewalk and I just walked right past him like he wasn’t human but the bus driver and other passenger that got off checked in on him and called an ambulance.
I actually care about social issues but I guess the problems we face in life make our hearts get blacker as we age. In this case I was working a late night job that had a long commute and didn’t care if that guy was dead.

Why did you get shamed? He must’ve been cadaan. When have TTC drivers ever cared about anyone?

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[Genesis]

I am generous when I feel like it, I am a massive prick when I feel like it.

Depends on my mood

 

[Yukon_Niner]

People are shit, I learnt that the hard way. My first lesson was don't lend random people money and if you do don't expect it back, consider it payment to get rid of them.

Always keep your expectations low when it comes to people, it helps.

I am generous when I feel like it, I am a massive prick when I feel like it.

Depends on my mood

I'm like this too but without the generous bit

 

[Mahacagalla]

Why did you get shamed? He must’ve been cadaan. When have TTC drivers ever cared about anyone? Yeah he was Cadaan lol

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Mostly cause they stopped to check him out and see if he is alright something I should’ve done given I walked by him first.

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[Shmurda]

I was shamed last year when I got off the bus and a homeless drunk vagrant was out of it on the sidewalk and I just walked right past him like he wasn’t human but the bus driver and other passenger that got off checked in on him and called an ambulance.
I actually care about social issues but I guess the problems we face in life make our hearts get blacker as we age. In this case I was working a late night job that had a long commute and didn’t care if that guy was dead.

Thats crazy ik a guy that had a heartattack on the ttc and the bus driver finished up his route before calling the ambulance

 

[Marcus]

I lost it, but now I've rediscovered it.