HELP! How do you reject arranged marriage WITHOUT coming across as rude

[Celery]

Politely decline and say marriage is not a priority at the moment and your energy is focused elsewhere. Why wouldn't that settle the matter? If your parents are pushy, have some back bone. They'll respect you for it.

Good advice.

All I wanna know is who are you people living in the west were forced arrange marriages is still happening? Cajeeb lol

not really forced. Strongly suggested and assuming that you’ll do it. They’ll be devastated if I say no. That’s why I don’t want to see the girl so I don’t come across as not wanting her. I just don’t wanna get married now.

 

[Angelina]

Never heard of the girls side of the family proposing to the guy's side.

I don't believe this one bit. What that family are doing is seen as 'ceeb' in traditional Somali culture. Its usually the guy's side of the family that usually ask.

Anyways life is short. So if what you're saying is true, then be honest and tell your fam that you are currently talking to someone and you are unavailable.

 

[Naacasfrompunt]

Never heard of the girls side of the family proposing to the guy's side.

I don't believe this one bit. What that family are doing is seen as 'ceeb' in traditional Somali culture. Its usually the guy side of the family that usually ask.

Anyways life is short. So if what you're saying is true, then be honest and tell your fam that you are currently talking to someone and are unavailable.

It can happen stopping being so stingy plus they are from the same qabil so obviously its going to happen

the other family really wants to keep it in the qabil tho

 

[Angelina]

It can happen stopping being so stingy plus they are from the same qabil so obviously its going to happen

the other family really wants to keep it in the qabil tho

No.

Its seen as ceeb in Somali culture for the girl's side of the family to find/ask for a groom.

The father of the daughter is the one that asks. The whole soo doonasho process is that the guy along with his fam and other sub clan member ask the father for the daughters hand in marriage.

Maybe, it is normal in his area for people to act like South Asians, but that is not caady in Somali daqaan.Most fathers would be embarrassed.

 

[Amirah]

Good advice.

not really forced. Strongly suggested and assuming that you’ll do it. They’ll be devastated if I say no. That’s why I don’t want to see the girl so I don’t come across as not wanting her. I just don’t wanna get married now.

Ever crossed your mind she might be the one? Maybe it’s destiny bringing you together? Maybe she’ll be everything you ever wanted lol. You just never know, why not say no can’t promise I’ll marry her but let’s talk on the phone?

Never heard of the girls side of the family proposing to the guy's side.

I don't believe this one bit. What that family are doing is seen as 'ceeb' in traditional Somali culture. Its usually the guy's side of the family that usually ask.

Anyways life is short. So if what you're saying is true, then be honest and tell your fam that you are currently talking to someone and you are unavailable.

Yeah I don’t buy it either. It’s usually the guys side of the family. Somali parents don’t try to arrange anything for their daughters even she could really use it lol.

 

[Naacasfrompunt]

No.

Its seen as ceeb in Somali culture for the girl's side of the family to find/ask for a groom.

The father of the daughter is the one that asks. The whole soo doonasho process is that the guy along with his fam and other sub clans ask the father for the daughters hand in marriage.

Maybe, it is normal in his area for people to act like South Asians, but that is not caady in Somali daqaan.Most fathers would be embarrassed.

Your name is Angelina

its ceeb to put on a fake persona

 

[Angelina]

Your name is Angelina

its ceeb to put on a fake persona

Just educating you kids lol.

 

[Naacasfrompunt]

Ever crossed your mind she might be the one? Maybe it’s destiny bringing you together? Maybe she’ll be you everything you ever wanted? You just never know, why not say no can’t promise I’ll marry her but lemme let’s talk on the phone?

Yeah I don’t buy it either. It’s usually the guys side of the family. Somali parents don’t try to arrange anything for their daughters even she could really use it lol.

They do arrange maybe in the suburbs where your from they don’t

but they do that in other places

 

[Lostbox]

Never heard of the girls side of the family proposing to the guy's side.

I don't believe this one bit. What that family are doing is seen as 'ceeb' in traditional Somali culture. Its usually the guy's side of the family that usually ask.

Anyways life is short. So if what you're saying is true, then be honest and tell your fam that you are currently talking to someone and you are unavailable.

I think it great the family her helping out. Instead of telling them to go fine a husband with no help by the community.

Also, have you noticed increase in helicopter parenting in the community? This could possibly be a new trend in the future

 

[Celery]

Ever crossed your mind she might be the one? Maybe it’s destiny bringing you together? Maybe she’ll be you everything you ever wanted? You just never know, why not say no can’t promise I’ll marry her but lemme let’s talk on the phone?

Yeah I don’t buy it either. It’s usually the guys side of the family. Somali parents don’t try to arrange anything for their daughters even she could really use it lol.

Ok. A female relative of her brought it up with me several times. That’s the extent of this attempted forced marriage. If you’re saying it’s ceeb for her family to do that, then I don’t have to worry about her father or mother coming to mine. They haven’t spoken to my family. I’m trying to extinguish it as early as possible. I’m preparing for the worst. But judging by what y’all are saying, I’ll be fine.

 

[Naacasfrompunt]

I think it great the family her helping out. Instead of telling them to go fine a husband with no help by the community.

Also, have you noticed increase in helicopter parenting in the community? This could be a new trend in the future

Wlhi that’s true shes acting like it doesnt happen

 

[Angelina]

Ever crossed your mind she might be the one? Maybe it’s destiny bringing you together? Maybe she’ll be everything you ever wanted lol. You just never know, why not say no can’t promise I’ll marry her but let’s talk on the phone?

Yeah I don’t buy it either. It’s usually the guys side of the family. Somali parents don’t try to arrange anything for their daughters even she could really use it lol.

Only time i've seen it is when their daughter is in deep shit. Even then it would be a close relative.

Most of the time, when the marriage is arranged, its because the man's family approached first. Somali dads on average are too prideful to be offering their daughters to men/families who haven't asked first.

 

[Angelina]

Ok. A female relative of her brought it up with me several times. That’s the extent of this attempted forced marriage. If you’re saying it’s ceeb for her family to do that, then I don’t have to worry about her father or mother coming to mine. They haven’t spoken to my family. I’m trying to extinguish it as early as possible. I’m preparing for the worst. But judging by what y’all are saying, I’ll be fine.

Ah okay, you should have been clearer. Yh, thats normal. Usually a relative will point out a girl and then once you give them the green light they speak to the family and then that is how they get the ball rolling. I've seen that situation happen a lot.

You need to be firm, if not you're going to see yourself in an awkward situation.

 

[Angelina]

Wlhi that’s true shes acting like it doesnt happen

The OP explained a bit more about the situation. I was right. Its still his family that are initiating things.

 

[Naacasfrompunt]

The OP explained a bit more about the situation. I was right. Its still his family that are initiating things.

Oh

 

[Angelina]

Ok. A female relative of her brought it up with me several times. That’s the extent of this attempted forced marriage. If you’re saying it’s ceeb for her family to do that, then I don’t have to worry about her father or mother coming to mine. They haven’t spoken to my family. I’m trying to extinguish it as early as possible. I’m preparing for the worst. But judging by what y’all are saying, I’ll be fine.

@Naacasfrompunt

Look

What he explained right now, is very common. Clearly it isn't the girl's family approaching.

 

[Naacasfrompunt]

I swear somali parents be doing stuff behind the scenes

free the bros in Somali

 

[Amirah]

They do arrange maybe in the suburbs where your from they don’t

but they do that in other places

Lmao @ suburbs! Ok Einstein.

Ok. A female relative of her brought it up with me several times. That’s the extent of this attempted forced marriage. If you’re saying it’s ceeb for her family to do that, then I don’t have to worry about her father or mother coming to mine. They haven’t spoken to my family. I’m trying to extinguish it as early as possible. I’m preparing for the worst. But judging by what y’all are saying, I’ll be fine.

oh that’s informal then, I thought it was formal high pressure type of arrangement. The female relative saw you as good kid with potential probably and wants to snag you off the market with for her girl. But if your not ready at all just say sorry but not sorry and keep it moving....

 

[Mercury]

all you got to say is that you're seeing someone than they will back off

 

[Naacasfrompunt]

Lmao @ suburbs! Ok Einstein.

oh that’s informal then, I thought it was formal high pressure type of arrangement. The female relative saw you as good kid with potential probably and wants to snag you off the market with for her girl. But if your not ready at all just say sorry but not sorry and keep it moving....

68iq remember that