Hot Selections (Dilemma)

[Amirah]

They could both very well turn out to be complete **faraaxs** lol.

FTFY. Welcome

 

[Sophisticate]

Forget the family background. I'm was talking more about what the family can provide for you like a wider network that would be useful it they are in the same industry as you. Say real estate, manufacturering and so on.

Probably, what's more important to you is if you are willing to accept their families, if they are functional, stable and supportive of you but that's to early to tell.

Let me throw it back at you

Say, I've met two women we are compatible in many areas say are future ideals, belief an so on but one is willimg to commit to me now while the other isn't sure but shows interest in future commitment.

Plus, having much more history with the ones that want to commit but I'm interested in both

Why advice would you give me?

From an outsiders perspective the sure thing would be the optimal choice. As humans we long for the familar. That isn't to say #2 won't have something valuable to offer. They might even be better suited. However, its too soon to tell. I would ask how well you vetted them. You can actually know someone for years but not know them as well. Whereas with someone else you might be able to cover more ground, have greater depth and gain more insight.

Not necessarily...it might be the second has more to offer/ lose hence the caution.

Touche. This could be a case of a old vs new flame. The older one might get more favourable treatment just because they've logged in more hours. But are they the best selection for you?

 

[Sophisticate]

If they’re both equally matched the rational choice would be 1 but deep down yearn for 2

Keep both around for as long as possible. If 2 doesn’t make his intentions clear he can bounce. No time for games. If the chemistry is equal or relatively similar between 1 and 2, there’s nothing to lose then

So, would this be a third option? Choosing both until you can acertain commitment on both end.

That's like playing two sides against the middle. So fiendish it may work.

 

[Hali]

From an outsiders perspective the sure thing would be the optimal choice. As humans we long for the familar. That isn't to say #2 won't have something valuable to offer. They might even be better suited. However, its too soon to tell. I would ask how well you vetted them. You can actually know someone for years but not know them as well. Whereas with someone else you might be able to cover more ground, have greater depth and gain more insight.



Touche. This could be a case of a old vs new flame. The older one might get more favourable treatment just because they've logged in more hours. But are they the best selection for you?

The second wouldn’t have a look in if I was sure about the first, so it would have to be the second.

 

[Sophisticate]

That depends entirely whether you'll feel like you've settled or not, which seems to be the case with #1. The "what if" shit has nuked a few of my relationships so I wouldn't dismiss it.

Long term, it' doesn't really matter. They could both very well turn out to be complete freaks lol. Regardless of how pragmatic or logical you're trying to be, it's pretty obvious there's more a of a genuine connection with option #2.

The paradox of choices rears its ugly head. What if I told you #1 was intially the vaunted one but #2 left an indelible impression.
I hope you don't mean freaks in the same manner as what @BobSmoke proposes.

Don't waste your time. First come first serve specially for us WOMEN.

Sadly, I just got the memo. I didn't know first choice was the best choice.

The second wouldn’t have a look in if I was sure about the first, so it would have to be the second.

We all have our doubts though. How do people make these key life decisions?

 

[Hali]

The paradox of choices rears its ugly head. What if I told you #1 was intially the vaunted one but #2 left an indelible impression.
I hope you don't mean freaks in the same manner as what @BobSmoke proposes.



Sadly, I just got the memo. I didn't know first choice was the best choice.



We all have our doubts though. How do people make these key life decisions?

Differentiate between what we want and what we need. What we want is not necessarily what’s good for us and sometimes what we need can be found with the unlikeliest candidate.

 

[Wiilyam Ina Sheekh Zubeer]

Well, #1 has known the subject longer so there is more history. It was simply not expected that they would be so forthcoming about their intentions. Whereas #2 seems to show more indicators of interest and appears more attuned. Despite #1 offering a commitment they come off as a bit more aloof relative to #2. That is not to say, they are less interested, or that they do not care they are just more reserved and pragmatic. It is essentially a case of different personalities and approaches in relating.



How can one truly tell what option is better for them in the long run?

Familiarity might have prompted #1 to come to a quicker judgement on whether or not to commit, his aloofness could similarly be due to that previous rapport, sort of like him being too sure of ticking (almost) all the right boxes. The novelty aspect of the relationship seems to entice both the subject and #2 in a way that they might vibe more harmoniously and more in tune with one another. If the relationship was a meal it would be some elaborate dinner outing, which contrasts starkly against the admittedly comfy, no-shame-in-my-game macawiis & microwave casho #1 is flaunting.
Honestly if they are stacked against one another and are going toe to toe in the subjects eyes there is probably still more to it in terms of difference than meets the eye.

Let me use a nerd analogy real quick:
Eerily similar match-ups at the surface lvl can still be drastically different, sort of like Kirby vs Jigglypuff in Smash Bros. Evaluating both by comparing their similarities doesn't do anyone justice. The resolution of your dilemma is best achieved through the Sudden Death mode aka forget all their percs for a min. In this make or break scenario they are both on life support with >300% damage. That's where the decisive factor (K.O.-Kriterium in German, flows better with my train of thought) comes into play. Define one non negotiable knock-out characteristic, and make your decision contingent on whether or not it is met. Luck aside, the one who shows a distinct competitive edge at the right time sends the other one packing. Since you decide what this edge is for you personally it will manifest itself very clearly, you'll know and wonder how you didn't catch on to it earlier.

In the end theorizing too much will be futile in the face of the day to day of the actual relationship. As I was advised by my elders:
"Guurka waa guri madow aad gacanta la gashay." Or something to that effect. Even after marriage you will stumble in the dark, probing with your arms for possible collision with objects while you are in search of the light-switch. Your sight might slowly get used to the dark but once you hit the switch and recover from the blinding flash the room looks entirely different for a third time.

 

[Timo Jareer and proud]

Basra, have you succumbed to cancel culture?



Anyway, what would you do in a similar scenario Ghengis if we reversed the genders?






That is not happening in the west little ones:

If they don't want double marriage then those tings can be on they damn marry way other fish in the ocean to fry

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

The paradox of choices rears its ugly head. What if I told you #1 was intially the vaunted one but #2 left an indelible impression.
I hope you don't mean freaks in the same manner as what @BobSmoke proposes.

Having others sing your praises is no small feat, but that's no indication of how someone behaves behind closed doors. You're headfucking yourself too much wallahi, sometimes the simplest answer is the best answer. It's anecdotal, but I'm telling a cloud will hang over your relationship if you "settle".

Besides, it's not like either of them are schizo pakis who'll throw acid in your face for wanting to break things off down the line

 

[Basic]

@Sophisticate

The only way to win this situation is to be upfront and direct. Confront option 2 politely and tell him that you want honesty and action. If he fails after this then you got your answer as to his intentions.

Option 1 isn’t an option for me.. I learnt a long time ago I can’t settle for a man no matter how good he is. He deserves someone who loves him equally.

 

[Gojo Satoru]

Interesting, that you ladies mention chemistry/vibes. What if you had chemistry with #1 but because you have known them longer it might have died down. People tend to favour novelty, but it can be somewhat misleading. Do you think it is ever possible to like both equally?



I see what you mean. Since the first one had made his intentions clearly known. While the other has not making them more of a wildcard atm. I suppose it is easier to deal with a known known rather than an unknown known.

Even if you like both intuitively you can tell which one you like more at least for me

 

[Sophisticate]

Differentiate between what we want and what we need. What we want is not necessarily what’s good for us and sometimes what we need can be found with the unlikeliest candidate.

I can’t argue with that.

If they don't want double marriage then those tings can be on they damn marry way other fish in the ocean to fry

What are the chances you would find women open to a timeshare?

@Sophisticate

The only way to win this situation is to be upfront and direct. Confront option 2 politely and tell him that you want honesty and action. If he fails after this then you got your answer as to his intentions.

Option 1 isn’t an option for me.. I learnt a long time ago I can’t settle for a man no matter how good he is. He deserves someone who loves him equally.

Thanks for your insight, Basic. So even if number 1 still ticked most of your boxes and might have even been a first choice in the beginning? I am simply curious.

Even if you like both intuitively you can tell which one you like more at least for me

What if the tide of interest shifts, what then?

 

[Sophisticate]

Familiarity might have prompted #1 to come to a quicker judgement on whether or not to commit, his aloofness could similarly be due to that previous rapport, sort of like him being too sure of ticking (almost) all the right boxes. The novelty aspect of the relationship seems to entice both the subject and #2 in a way that they might vibe more harmoniously and more in tune with one another. If the relationship was a meal it would be some elaborate dinner outing, which contrasts starkly against the admittedly comfy, no-shame-in-my-game macawiis & microwave casho #1 is flaunting.
Honestly if they are stacked against one another and are going toe to toe in the subjects eyes there is probably still more to it in terms of difference than meets the eye.

Let me use a nerd analogy real quick:
Eerily similar match-ups at the surface lvl can still be drastically different, sort of like Kirby vs Jigglypuff in Smash Bros. Evaluating both by comparing their similarities doesn't do anyone justice. The resolution of your dilemma is best achieved through the Sudden Death mode aka forget all their percs for a min. In this make or break scenario they are both on life support with >300% damage. That's where the decisive factor (K.O.-Kriterium in German, flows better with my train of thought) comes into play. Define one non negotiable knock-out characteristic, and make your decision contingent on whether or not it is met. Luck aside, the one who shows a distinct competitive edge at the right time sends the other one packing. Since you decide what this edge is for you personally it will manifest itself very clearly, you'll know and wonder how you didn't catch on to it earlier.

In the end theorizing too much will be futile in the face of the day to day of the actual relationship. As I was advised by my elders:
"Guurka waa guri madow aad gacanta la gashay." Or something to that effect. Even after marriage you will stumble in the dark, probing with your arms for possible collision with objects while you are in search of the light-switch. Your sight might slowly get used to the dark but once you hit the switch and recover from the blinding flash the room looks entirely different for a third time.

It might be that the first is confident because time has worked in his favour having put in more life hours and now being ready for a commitment having weighed his options. The question is the subject willing. They might be liable to change their mind. Perhaps the lackadaisical lad is afraid that his victory is not assured making him feel less secure hence resorting to entrapment to keep the subject. The enchanting one seems to know exactly what to say. However, though the skeptical subject wants to believe in the authenticity of number two they cannot help but wonder if they are putting on kabuki theatre to appeal. There is such a thing called future faking whereby one lies an effort to keep the subject in a holding pattern by feeding them exactly what they want but still withholds from a solid commitment.

Lovely Smash Bros reference.

So, base it on one non-negotiable characteristic. I have no clue how people make these decisions. I hate unknowns but they are part and parcel with living. I suppose number 1 is the conventional choice and number 2 is equally good enough but may result in the fear of missing out.

Having others sing your praises is no small feat, but that's no indication of how someone behaves behind closed doors. You're headfucking yourself too much wallahi, sometimes the simplest answer is the best answer. It's anecdotal, but I'm telling a cloud will hang over your relationship if you "settle".

Besides, it's not like either of them are schizo pakis who'll throw acid in your face for wanting to break things off down the line

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[Fratello]

Why do you make it so sophisticated? Why can't it be readable for the 68iq People?

My reading comprehension is failing at the moment

Alie

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

It might be that the first is confident because time has worked in his favour having put in more life hours and now being ready for a commitment having weighed his options. The question is the subject willing. They might be liable to change their mind. Perhaps the lackadaisical lad is afraid that his victory is not assured making him feel less secure hence resorting to entrapment to keep the subject. The enchanting one seems to know exactly what to say. However, though the skeptical subject wants to believe in the authenticity of number two they cannot help but wonder if they are putting on kabuki theatre to appeal. There is such a thing called future faking whereby one lies an effort to keep the subject in a holding pattern by feeding them exactly what they want but still withholds from a solid commitment.

Lovely Smash Bros reference.

View attachment 174857
So, base it on one non-negotiable characteristic. I have no clue how people make these decisions. I hate unknowns but they are part and parcel with living. I suppose number 1 is the conventional choice and number 2 is equally good enough but may result in the fear of missing out.

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[Sophisticate]

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