How do I become Somali president?

[Boomer]

Sounds very silly but surely I couldn’t do any worse than these blatantly corrupt and careless stooges. Unless Halane is forcing people to become useless and corrupt (because nothing else explains why every president doesn’t at least move the country forward even one step), I would be great for my country. I love my country, I love my people and I genuinely do not believe in clan supremacy. The somali bantu, the madhiban and the so called big clans are the same to me. A bit about me:

I am 32
I have bachelors in Engineering and I intend to get my masters some day, hopefully soon.
I am not gaal or mulxid. I am a practicing Muslim.

as for my political beliefs:
I believe in semi democratic Somalia where the constitution would be mostly inspired by Islamic law for major zero tolerance crimes like murder, rape, corruption(execution for the former two and lengthy prison sentences for the latter). At the same time people would be free to do whatever they want. Ou yeah no fucking social media until everybody’s IQ is at least 100, literally everyone (no adults left behind).

and the biggest reason why i would want to become president is getting rid of halane, cadaan ngos and fucking ethiopian, kenyan and other African soldiers in the country. To do this, I would first have to fight and remove alshabab which I would absolutely prioritize because they are used as pretense as to why we have so much ajnabis stealing our lands, and instigating between our people.

so what do yall think? Am I dreaming here? Should I give up?

if not how do I try? I don’t fucking wanna be beholden to arab daddy countries but at the same time you need money to run.

 

[Neptune]

You can be a unicorn, but I'm sorry to say that most important thing in 4.5 is your qabil. Not only that, but the political alliances which your powerbase is derived from.

 

[Boomer]

You can be a unicorn, but I'm sorry to say that most important thing in 4.5 is your qabil. Not only that, but the political alliances which your powerbase is derived from.

I am Ogaden but my first mission would to ban qabiil. Maybe I could use it to get in power and then betray darods by banning clan altogether. I guess it wouldn’t be betrayal technically speaking.

 

[Boomer]

I already read many historical books on people who rebuilt nations like the bolsheviks, meji from japan etc… and I am now reading a book on the making of modern china.

 

[Neptune]

You will also need a financial backer for the bribes. Nobody gets elected without paying for votes.

 

[Boomer]

You will also need a financial backer for the bribes. Nobody gets elected without paying for votes.

I think this is where a lot of our leaders fail, they’re beholden to their backers. Even Trump is serving Musk, no one is save.

 

[Neptune]

In conclusion, Somali politics is just a dirty game. If you want to help your country there's better, smaller ways to have an effect.

 

[Boomer]

In conclusion, Somali politics is just a dirty game. If you want to help your country there's better, smaller ways to have an effect.

I get that but I want Somalia preserved as a state and that looks to be under a massive threat if things keep going in this trajectory. It is a miracle we haven’t collapsed yet even though you could argue we have actually become small clan enclaves coupled with terrorists holding the country hostage (probably financied by foreigners) and Kenya and Ethiopia licking their fingers as they expand, all of that can only happen in a collapsed country.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

I am 32
I have bachelors in Engineering and I intend to get my masters some day, hopefully soon.
I am not gaal or mulxid. I am a practicing Muslim.

so what do yall think? Am I dreaming here? Should I give up?

I don’t fucking wanna be beholden to arab daddy countries

Litmus test to officiate your credence:

a) Will you kiss the ring of regional powers, and bow to Uncle Sam?​

b) Could you self-sustain to retirement as it is?​

 

[Nur_]

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[berberaboy66]

I am Ogaden but my first mission would to ban qabiil. Maybe I could use it to get in power and then betray darods by banning clan altogether. I guess it wouldn’t be betrayal technically speaking.

I’m sure you’re a great guy with great intentions but it’s just not gonna happen bro. Sorry.

 

[AbdiBashirJR]

Sounds very silly but surely I couldn’t do any worse than these blatantly corrupt and careless stooges. Unless Halane is forcing people to become useless and corrupt (because nothing else explains why every president doesn’t at least move the country forward even one step), I would be great for my country. I love my country, I love my people and I genuinely do not believe in clan supremacy. The somali bantu, the madhiban and the so called big clans are the same to me. A bit about me:

I am 32
I have bachelors in Engineering and I intend to get my masters some day, hopefully soon.
I am not gaal or mulxid. I am a practicing Muslim.

as for my political beliefs:
I believe in semi democratic Somalia where the constitution would be mostly inspired by Islamic law for major zero tolerance crimes like murder, rape, corruption(execution for the former two and lengthy prison sentences for the latter). At the same time people would be free to do whatever they want. Ou yeah no fucking social media until everybody’s IQ is at least 100, literally everyone (no adults left behind).

and the biggest reason why i would want to become president is getting rid of halane, cadaan ngos and fucking ethiopian, kenyan and other African soldiers in the country. To do this, I would first have to fight and remove alshabab which I would absolutely prioritize because they are used as pretense as to why we have so much ajnabis stealing our lands, and instigating between our people.

so what do yall think? Am I dreaming here? Should I give up?

if not how do I try? I don’t fucking wanna be beholden to arab daddy countries but at the same time you need money to run.

I was as innocent as you when I joined this forum. It’s possible for an ogaden to become president I’ll tell u that. It’s not easy you have to be as corrupt as possible to achieve that. Have financial backers like Qatar promising them oil deals so they pay you so u can buy votes. Or be a horgal for another tribe so now you have Ogaden supporters and big backers from that other tribe that you are practically a vassal for. You must get deep into the dhiiqo. Eventually after enough attempts you can become.

 

[mudugnapalm]

Step 1: sell your faith

 

[jusbrowsin]

Everyone has good intentions at first.

 

[Karim]

Obstacles in your way:

1. Do you speak Somali fluently?! If not, don't bother.
2. Do you know the inner tribal conflicts in the country and their historical context?! If not, don't waste your time.
3. Are you allied with one of these countries that have a tremendous effect on our politics: UAE, ETHIOPIA or Turkey and QATAR?! If not, you're obviously wasting your time.
4. Do you hail from a strong powerful clan?! If not, please don't bother.
5. Do you have their full endorsement if you hail from a strong powerful clan?! If not, stop wasting your precious time.
6. Have you held any governmental position of any kind in the past?! Federal or State?! If not, just don't think of running for the office.
7. Do you have a well known allies in Somali politics who can help you achieve your political aspirations?! If not, go back immediately.

 

[Aurelian]

Obstacles in your way:

1. Do you speak Somali fluently?! If not, don't bother.
2. Do you know the inner tribal conflicts in the country and their historical context?! If not, don't waste your time.
3. Are you allied with one of these countries that have a tremendous effect on our politics: UAE, ETHIOPIA or Turkey and QATAR?! If not, you're obviously wasting your time.
4. Do you hail from a strong powerful clan?! If not, please don't bother.
5. Do you have their full endorsement if you hail from a strong powerful clan?! If not, stop wasting your precious time.
6. Have you held any governmental position of any kind in the past?! Federal or State?! If not, just don't think of running for the office.
7. Do you have a well known allies in Somali politics who can help you achieve your political aspirations?! If not, go back immediately.

Can one become president if he bought the more than half of the parliament? let's say the guy was a billionaire and open 300-500 mil bag for that election period. I think if he was one of the two clan and had that money he can become a president, not having good language skills and or political connection to foreigners will not be an issue.

 

[ilmoweyn]

I already read many historical books on people who rebuilt nations like the bolsheviks, meji from japan etc… and I am now reading a book on the making of modern china.

Read on post feudal Korea as well

 

[Karim]

Can one become president if he bought the more than half of the parliament? let's say the guy was a billionaire and open 300-500 mil bag for that election period. I think if he was one of the two clan and had that money he can become a president, not having good language skills and or political connection to foreigners will not be an issue.

500 million would buy you both chambers of the FGS parliament, State governments and their parliaments, and even all of Somali elders. But still, you'd be bribing your way to the top which almost always ends in failure.

 

[Unicorn]

I read all tht and not once did u mention ur tribe. Tribalism is the blood of Somalia. Its more important than ur resume over there. How strong ur tribe is and wht lands they control is important. If ur not part of the 4 big tribes in parliment things will be hard.

 

[Tiyeglow]

In conclusion, Somali politics is just a dirty game. If you want to help your country there's better, smaller ways to have an effect.

This. The average Baqaar owner who reads his Qur'an outside whilst he waits for a customer to come by has far more contentment, is more beneficial to his local community and earns Halal clean income. These Senators, Ministers, DG's and across the political sphere are alarmingly miserable and insatiable for more money at all cost. Yes you gained lacag, but at what cost?

I'm far more interested in local, and what is more local than family. If I raise a family on Deen, earn a halal income and am a benefit to my local community, that is far greater than any presidency, senator, ministerial position.

I'm currently looking in permaculture/agriculture & farming, small-scale humble works that the Sunnah advised as being the greatest of labour. Prophetic over profit. This took me a while to learn and appreciate, my grandfather gave this advice to my father and his brother - to avoid politics at all cost, it while end in compromise and potential self-destruction - my father tried to pass to me but I learnt the hard way, Alhamdullilah still young. My grandfather working on financing Agriculture, my father worked in Mareerey in agriculture and got a scholarship in 1989 to specialise in it, now I want to begin the footsteps of agriculture/farming/permaculture inshaAllah, rural peaceful lifestyle with no politics, qabyaalad, western indoctrination, haraam income. All natural and local inshaAllah.

Soomaaalo maxamed, sharaf iyo guul maka imaanayo siyaasi. Wa ina diinta ilaahay ka noqona iyo wixi dadki hore samayni jireen ka dhayanaa. We have tried politics for 30 years, it clearly isn't the answer to our victory. Islam is what will elevate us and the local hard-working entrepreneur/Shaqaalo/nomad is where our identity comes from, not these empty-suit wearing pseudo-politicians.

Alhamdullilah, I have as much interest in Somali politics as I do in learning say numerology. For both, the further you go into it the more you become lost in the sauce. This is just a long advice to all. May Allah bless you all.