I am approaching my 30s and never dated a girl

[J-Rasta]

I am approaching my 30s and never dated a girl had a couple one night stands and paid for sex couple times apart from that no Shukaansi at all. I repented for all my sins and I’ve joined muzmatch with the intention to find a wife. My mother wants me to go Puntland and marry one of my cousins (hell nah) I am a handsome guy according to many and I’m having a tough time.

I need ur advice

I was in the same boat sxb , I wasn't considerate of marriage since most Somali women are already married and very few in numbers, I'm not even 30 yet and felt that peer pressure from fellow Somalis ,that shit got me to the sin life though, there's nothing to be proud of resorting one stands with hookers .
Dating sites won't get you that far sxb , go out in your social life interact with people , where you study or workplace or some places you're familiar with you might find some chemistry there .

You don't need to marry your cousin in Somalia when there are qalanjos roaming all corners.

You just need to be yourself no need to be pressured or persuaded

 

[Dooyo]

what? no you don't.....

it's a sin to talk about your sins!

you're saying a person must do something haraam.... you're trying to make something haraam into being something fard....

it is in fact the opposite..... one must cover their sins and not reveal them

Let me correct my mistake. I agree that if a person has sinned but has repented, they can cover their sins and keep quiet about it. It's like they've never committed the sin at all. However, if asked about his sexual past, I do believe that his partner has the right to know about it.

 

[Abba Sadacha]

I am approaching my 30s and never dated a girl had a couple one night stands and paid for sex couple times apart from that no Shukaansi at all. I repented for all my sins and I’ve joined muzmatch with the intention to find a wife. My mother wants me to go Puntland and marry one of my cousins (hell nah) I am a handsome guy according to many and I’m having a tough time.

I need ur advice

1. Do not uncover the cover that Allah had over your sins. No need to broadcast your sins, which is a sin itself.
2. Take your mother's advice, but kindly explain to her that you may not want to marry a cousin, so that you keep her happy + find a wife at the same time. Indeed, keeping the mother happy is among the greatest of good. Serve her, and keep her happy, and perhaps Allah may grant you Jannah.


“The story of Uwais Al-Qarni was mentioned in Sahih Muslim as well as in other books. Now even though he was from the Tabi’een and did not see the Messenger [Salah Allahu Alaihi wa salam], the Messenger [Salah Allahu Alaihi wa salam] had advised ‘Umar ibn Al-Khatab [Radiya Allahu ‘Anhu] that if he meets [Uwais] then he, ‘Umar, should ask [Uwais] to ask Allah to forgive him and to make supplication for him.

Asir ibn Jaabir radhiallahu `anhu narrated:

Whenever people would come from Yemen, `Umar radhiallahu `anhu would ask them, “Is Uways Al-Qaranee amongst you?” until, one year, he met Uways.

He said, “Are you Uways Al-Qaranee?” He said, “Yes.”

`Umar continued, “From Muraad, then Qaran?” He said, “Yes.”

`Umar then asked, “Were you once afflicted with leprosy and your skin healed except for a dirham’s area?” Uways said, “Yes.”

`Umar finally asked, “Do you have a mother (that is alive)?” He said, “Yes.”

`Umar then said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah – sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam – say, ‘Uways ibn Aamir will come to you with the delegations from Yemen, from Muraad, then from Qaran. He was once afflicted with leprosy and his skin healed except for a dirham’s area. He has a mother, and he treats her kindly. If he was to ever swear by Allah (for something) Allah would fulfill his oath. If you can, request that he ask forgiveness for you.”

`Umar then requested from Uways, “Ask forgiveness for me.” And Uways Al-Qaranee did.

~Sahih Muslim

 

[Omar del Sur]

Let me correct my mistake. I agree that if a person has sinned but has repented, they can cover their sins and keep quiet about it. It's like they've never committed the sin at all. However, if asked about his sexual past, I do believe that his partner has the right to know about it.

Wallahi I am not trying to demean you in any way.

However, it is obligatory to conceal one's sins. It is not an option- it is obligatory. Even if someone asks you, you should not reveal your sins.

It is a sin to reveal your sins.

Does his partner have a right to know? Frankly, she doesn't.

Where do her rights or any of our rights come from?

Do they come from Thomas Jefferson, Geneva Conventions, UN human rights declarations, John Locke, Rousseau, George Washington, national constitutions, the Declaration of Independence?

The concept of rights is a serious topic. Peopoe have killed and die over that subject. Wars have been fought over it. Much blood and ink have been spilled over it.

You cite the concept of someone's rights.

When I was in school, we learned about the Declaration of Independence.

The Declaration of Independence says "We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."

In all honesty, I think the loyalists were in the right and I think the "patriots" under George Washington were a dangerous terrorist element who should have been crushed and who were in the wrong.

I think it was immoral to tar and feather people to terrorize innocent people into going along with the "patriots". I believe the "patriots" were terrorists and I think Britain djould have crushed them. I think it is an unjustice that we are not taught about the cruel treatment of the loyalists who were persecuted simply for their loyalty to their monarch and for opposition to mob rule.

I don't believe in the philosophy of the Declaration of Independence.

However, my point is that even those people recognized where our rights come from- our rights come from our Creator, from Allah.

They were correct in that assertion. We have to rule by what Allah has revealed

And whoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed - then it is those who are the disbelievers.

-Surah Al-Ma'idah 5:44

Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be forgiven except those who sin openly. It is a part of sinning openly when a man does something at night, then the following morning when Allaah has concealed his sin, he says, ‘O So and so, I did such and such last night,’ when all night his Lord has concealed him and the next morning he uncovers what Allaah had concealed.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5721; Muslim, 2990).

It is a sin to reveal one's sins.

Our rights come from Allah.

No one has a right to have us tell them our sins. Such a right does not exist.

We have to rule by what Allah has revealed. We cannot make up our own ideas and then rule based on our own ideas in contradiction to what Allah has revealed.

 

[JewhanOmar]

go and marry a zaania because a virgin isn't lawful for u

this is false, the wisdom behind the saying is that its better for Zina couples to marry, but its not compulsory in our deen. A Zania can marry a virign.