I met my bully today...11 years later. Why am I so bothered by her still?

[arawelo 2.0]

Well, it just so happens that I take after my mother - she almost looks like an Arab. You know reer xamar? except I'm no reer xamar or Arab.

how old are you? i might be petty but i would say its never too late to get revenge. slap her silly if you meet her again.

 

[Oranges&Lemons]

how old are you? i might be petty but i would say its never too late to get revenge. slap her silly if you meet her again.

I'm too old for that. 22.

 

[Seoul]

I thought she was cadcad, chill the f0k out . Useless life kulaha, do we know each other from somewhere?

When a hair & beauty graduate has the nerve to @ you kkkkk.

It's idiots like you that make this site shit. This girl is pouring her heart out to us with a genuine issue that she's going through and all u can do is ask her what her qabiil is. Nigga we all know ur xamarcadcad guy and all the other cadcad nicknames on here

 

[Hafez]

O.P. To answer your question seriously, most bullies grow out of their ways, I know this because I was one.

You should approach her but not with a smile, nor a screw face, just act indifferently. Once you start interacting with each other, speak to her about what she's done to you.

That's Hafez's advice for ya m8.

 

[Hafez]

Nigga we all know ur xamarcadcad guy and all the other cadcad nicknames on here

I'm all of them yet I'm not banned? Lmao. If that's what makes you feel good.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

I'm too old for that. 22.

its never too late
in all seriousness, try not to even think about her. unless you live nearby, the odds that you'll run into her again are very low. so don't occupy your mind with some lowlife. she'll have as much power over you as you allow it so you shouldn't let her existence affect you at all.

 

[Oranges&Lemons]

O.P. To answer your question seriously, most bullies grow out of their ways, I know this because I was one.

You should approach her but not with a smile, nor a screw face, just act indifferently. Once you start interacting with each other, speak to her about what she's done to you.

That's Hafez's advice for ya m8.

aww thanks for your advice! I didn't think I was going to get so many replies so quickly wow. Anyway, hopefully I won't meet her again but if I do.. I'll make sure to keep my cool

 

[gurey]

dont count on her apologizing. what difference would that even make. i you meet her again dont revert back to your miskinad ways and tell her what an absolute she was. confront her with confidence and tell her to f*ck her apology.

Thats too confrontational. Start off with small chit chat and then memtion last time you spoke and when happens since to both of you. then dive deeper into this subject.

@Hafez your right most bullies grow out of it.

 

[Oranges&Lemons]

Thats too confrontational. Start off with small chit chat and then memtion last time you spoke and when happens since to both of you. then dive deeper into this subject.

@Hafez your right most bullies grow out of it.

Chit chat?! omg you wanna kill me. This girl is the devil ok? She even smiles like a reptile. I don't think I can talk with her for that long

 

[Oranges&Lemons]

@Seoul @Hafez @sahersi @gurey @waraabe @merka @Discontinous

Hi guys, thanks for all your advice. Don't worry I'm not normally like this! you'd never guess I was the same girl who was being all depressed and shit to strangers on the internet haha. You are all beautiful human beings mashaa allaah I can't thank you enough. I feel so much better already.

Good night,

O&L

 

[Mercury]

It sucks what happened to you but you shouldnt be scared of her

I used to be like you I was friendly to everyone than came the bullying thats how I learned some ppl will take that kindness and walk all over you

The teachers and principles knew about the bullying but not much was done about it on their end

Thats when i Promised myself nobody would get away with bullying me

During that year I made the bullying go away and I got principal and teachers on my neck beacuse of fighting back my bullies, egging their houses and the one I got most backlash for was beating up my main tormentor Gabriel and force feeding him dog shit

I dont regret it one bit

 

[Mckenzie]

A true mark of maturity is realizing why these 'bullies' acted this way when you were young. They weren't raised properly or had their own insecurities, in this case Halima was a fob and probably overcompensated for it by trying to stunt on your friendship, she behaved y because it gave her the popularity she craved for. She may have even behaved like this towards other girls you aren't aware of. Anyway in life there are no regrets, just lessons learnt. You grew up to be a respectful adult, she may have become a . Be grateful, may we all be grateful!

 

[Duchess]

I don't really know where I'm going with this other than to get it off my chest. Here goes:

We first met in madrasah when I was around 11 and she was 13. I was that girl who was friendly with everybody... a little bit of a trouble maker but never did anything serious. I was the peace maker amongst my friends and I really enjoyed madrasah wallaah - we had so much fun. One day this new girl shows up (let's call her Halima). She had just come from Somalia. Everyone was giggling and making fun of her lack of English and peculiar dress sense. My cousin was particularly mean calling 'the tent' because she wore the big hijaab.

Anyway, I decided to befriend her. Halima was really funny and we quickly became close. I didn't want her to feel left out so whenever we were going somewhere I'd invite her, I told her about all the shops that sell nice hijabs, I'd introduced her to all of my friends (not that she needed me to... she was really charismatic) and soon they were all drawn to her. Halima told me how her dad never allows her to use the internet so I made an msn account for her and lent her my phone (you can tell this was a while ago hehe). For a year we were the best of friends sharing everything from clothes to secrets.

And then suddenly we weren't. Till this day, I'm not sure why.

She made my life hell. She called me every horrible name (white trash and fat pig were the worst), threw my shoes in the bin, told everyone about my dad (he used to beat the crap out of me). Worst of all, no one would talk to me. She had turned all my friends against me. She was VERY manipulative - even my cousin wouldn't speak to me either because she was convinced I did something to Halima.

This was all too much for 11 year old me. I was proper miskiin...I had never argued with anyone or fought with anyone before so I really wasn't equipped to deal with her. I sought her out when she was alone to confront her - she told me that she hadn't even liked me and that she had been using me all along.

After that I didn't even bother with any of them anymore. I left the madrasah and learnt at home for a while. Then I started a different madrasah and guess who's there? Halima.

It started all over again. Girls and boys both would always whisper and snicker behind my back but when I came near they would all go quiet. I had people I'd never even met taunting me day in day out. This went on until I was 15. But I ignored them and carried on... made new friends too. As long as I didn't see her or her friends I was ok. But somehow they were everywhere. I went from confident happy-go-lucky to insecure, distrustful and sensitive. But I finished the Quran, left the madrasah and never saw her again. Until today.

In hindsight, I guess my 'friends' weren't real friends to begin with and she must have been really jealous or something. I realise now I was never fat, and if anything SHE looked like she was starving. Plus, I don't get why I was so embarrassed by my skin colour when so many women bleach themselves to achieve what I have naturally.

Anyway when I saw her in town today, I swear my heart skipped a beat. I was suddenly transported back in time. She was near the shop door and I needed to leave but instead, I did a 180 and stalled around the make up section. I even kicked myself for not putting more effort in how I looked. What is wrong with me dear Lord? I'm a grown woman!

So yeah. That's it. Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what else to do. Oh God what if I see her again o_0

She still has power over you. You must confront her, either to have a conversation to let her know how what she did impacted and continues to impact you or to beat the shit out of her. Either way, you have to let this go and let it die after that meeting with her. Don't avoid her, find her and free yourself of this emotional burden.

 

[Bahal]

This suburban kid on my bus tried to bully me my first day at this new school, little did he know I came from a school where giganiggas roamed and niggas would be smoking in the hallways



I don't think Ive ever had that much fun

 

[Inactive]

Lol at @Hafez being a bully.

OP, I'm sorry to hear that. I wasn't bullied (I didn't bully either) so I don't know if my advice will help but I suggest letting bygones be bygones. It appears that you did move on with your life and forgot about her except when you bumped into her so I am sure you'll be able to move on again.

 

[AceofSom]

- Firstly, you have to understand, at that age girls tend to be very mean and most of the time without even realizing. People from who grow up in Somalia tend to be very manipulative and in many cases, mean spirited

- You could go about it in two ways, either confront her or just forgive her and move on.

- However ifs really bothering you, don't wait, do something about it ASAP.

 

[Mohamud]

i'm in a different spot

when i see the scrub kids from my middle school i make a habit to ask them how they're doing in life knowing damn well they failures. i'm xaasid like that.

 

[Reign]

Lol freshy girls are mean wallahi. My freshy cousin bullies all the fish and chips girls.


But I don't condone bullying and you must face up to things so that you can finally put it behind you. You're a big girl now I'm sure you can handle yourself.

 

[Mohamud]

i swear i can't fathom getting bullied by somali people

i need to fear you in some way to be bullied by you. like how is Liban gonna get the edge on me when I know our lives are the same

 

[DiricLover]

I was once bullied by a fob girl too laakinse waan u kala dhigay kalbada xun