I think its wrong to have a bunch of kids than later have them as your retirement plan

[Vanessa]

It’s tough. But it’s your dad and he’s a Walid. Give him the money and let Allah deal with him.

I agree with you

 

[Sheikh Google]

Bun that waalid shit. Dead beat dad fucks off and leaves hooyo to deal with 7 kids in a foreign land. Then when you make money pops up like it's a family reunion episode of some sitcom. Sxb you're having a laugh Gtfo. For those whose parents sacrificed so much for them to give them a better life in the west, those parents will be given the world and their heart's desires.

 

[waryabdi]

For some reason a lot of you don’t seem to understand the point here. Mercury isn’t saying don’t help out your parents, what he’s talking about are parents esp fathers who disappear and don’t actually raise their children only to reappear later in life expecting those same children to take care of them.

I guess your just gonna ignore the first part of what he said.


”You see old heads with 9-14 kids than later when they making they're own money expect them to send you monthly checks cause you're they're parent”


yes your supposed to give your parents whatever they need if you are a Muslim. As long as it does not conflict with what Allah permits

 

[Leeban]

You have 2 parents you bum

 

[Leeban]

I never take what this guy says seriously always pandering to the lowest common denominator

 

[Halimo-2018]

Em i dont have a problem talking-care of my parents nor do anyone i know. If you cant be kind to your parents then who else would be deserving

 

[bluebird]

I wonder about the ones who put pressure on their children's marriage. because on one hand you are your child's parent (usually mother in this case) and you deserve for them to take care of you, but on the other hand you were also someone's daughter and wife, and you know that you wouldn't want your husband's mother constantly asking why he is giving money to you and not her and making you into the enemy. I think children should be grateful and generous to their parents but parents should be empathetic and merciful to their kids and not place a burden on them they can't handle, just as they wouldn't like their own parents doing to them.

 

[Angelina]

I wonder about the ones who put pressure on their children's marriage. because on one hand you are your child's parent (usually mother in this case) and you deserve for them to take care of you, but on the other hand you were also someone's daughter and wife, and you know that you wouldn't want your husband's mother constantly asking why he is giving money to you and not her and making you into the enemy. I think children should be grateful and generous to their parents but parents should be empathetic and merciful to their kids and not place a burden on them they can't handle, just as they wouldn't like their own parents doing to them.

Sis, I was thinking about this the other day. Imagine being a housewife with no real personal income coming in, hardly any savings, no legal protection from husband divorcing or abandoning you ect. You really are going to be see your children as your literal 'pension'. Obviously, that is an extreme picture, but that was the life of our grandmothers and this attitude of seeing kids in this way due to societies contraints of women has been passed down.

 

[Amirah]

Its very, very common in our community. But my point still stands regarding supporting them. At the most, many male Somali elders just want money and for them to still have contact with you. TBH, that isn't asking for much, especially if you are financially able to do so.

I agree with you that we should help our parents if we can but I will say this, this whole “I’m not going to raise you but I’m still entitled to your financial support” business is pretty unique to Somali culture. Often when a parent abandons their children they don’t come back in old age expecting to be taking care of. They exit and done, and if they do reconnect they do it because they want to genuinely bond. We’ve normalized something that’s odd and unfair as we often do.

 

[bluebird]

Sis, I was thinking about this the other day. Imagine being a housewife with no real personal income coming in, hardly any savings, no legal protection from husband divorcing or abandoning you ect. You really are going to be see your children as your literal 'pension'. Obviously, that is an extreme picture, but that was the life of our grandmothers and this attitude of seeing kids in this way due to societies contraints of women has been passed down.

there are two types, the ones who refuse to accept money from their kids and tell them to spend it on their own children even though they may need it, and the overbearing MIL who demands constant money/attention:/ lol for some reason I haven't seen a lot of in between

 

[Dontcomefome]

I just got one thing to say please treat your families, and relatives with kindness because you never know when you could be bed ridden, be in a coma, get in a accident etc because for someone who works in healthcare I've seen people with 5 children and they all lived in the city and none of them fucked with that parent.

 

[Hybrid()]

Somali kids with deadbeat fathers are usually raised to hate on their fathers. The ones I know don't have contact with their fathers or members from their fathers side. Even millionaire Mo Farah cut ties with his father and half siblings. Many of his half siblings are dead broke ( some got arrested for shoplifting not long ago) and live in the UK.

 

[Angelina]

Somali kids with deadbeat fathers are usually raised to hate on their fathers. The ones I know don't have contact with their fathers or members from their fathers side. Even millionaire Mo Farah cut ties with his father and half siblings. Many of his half siblings are dead broke ( some got arrested for shoplifting not long ago) and live in the UK.

You can't be raised to hate someone when that person has practically given you every reason to dislike them.

If a mother decided to abandon her kids, forget the children, the whole of society would be shitting on her, yet here we are excusing men as per usual.

 

[reer]

You can't be raised to hate someone when that person has practically given you every reason to dislike them.

If a mother decided to abandon her kids, forget the children, the whole of society would be shitting on her, yet here we are excusing men as per usual.

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