INSECURE SOMALIS LISTEN UP!

[A Mean Guy]

Lately, it feels like there are so many insecure Somalis looking for advice on how to 'be a real man. It's frustrating to see so many guys searching for validation from other men instead of building their own sense of self-worth.

I have laid out a plan that will take you from an insecure loser to an actual man. Follow these steps closely and don’t cut corners, because you can’t half-ass your way to real success.

1. Self Image Issues
Self-image plays a crucial role in shaping a man’s confidence and overall mental well-being. When men constantly make fun of their features, it creates a negative feedback loop that reinforces insecurity and self-doubt. When you respect your own appearance, flaws and all, it sends a message to others that you value yourself.
If you believe you are ugly, stop making excuses for yourself that you are that way because you are Somali.
If you cannot respect yourself as a Somali, what makes you think that other people would?

Spoiler: rant

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There are some weird and jealous people who will try everything to put you down. It is your responsibility to ignore those insults and not let them define your worth. People often project their insecurities onto others, and their criticism usually says more about them than it does about you. Letting others' opinions control how you see yourself only gives them power over your life.

How many times were Somali girls called ugly by ajanabis? How many times have we been accused of racism because we had eUrOcEnTrIc features? They failed to lower the self esteem for most Somali girls because they know they are beautiful so why can't you think the same. Of course there still exist some girls that feel worthless because of these insults but they too can change that.

Make use of your time while you're young. Your 20s should not be about just bashaal, you should spend this decade improving yourself bit by bit so that you can be a dependable man in your 30s.

 

[A Mean Guy]

2. Hygiene
Good hygiene is probably one of the simplest yet most impactful ways to improve yourself. When men take the time to maintain personal grooming, whether it’s showering regularly, using skincare products, or maintaining oral hygiene, it signals self-respect and attention to detail.

Firstly, determine your skin type whether it’s dry, very dry, oily, or a combination of both and choose the appropriate cleanser and moisturiser accordingly. Once you've found the right products, set up a proper skincare routine by doing thorough research on how often to cleanse, moisturise, and, if necessary, exfoliate. Consistency is key here.

Personally, I keep my routine simple by using just a cleanser and moisturiser, and even with this minimal approach, I’ve seen a significant improvement in my skin.


Remember it is not feminine to take care of your skin.

 

[A Mean Guy]

3. Nutrition and Diet
A balanced diet rich in whole foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats can improve energy levels, mood, and overall appearance, including clearer skin and a healthier physique. What you consume directly impacts how you feel and how you look, which in turn influences your self-image.

For men looking to boost their confidence, paying attention to nutrition is essential. Avoiding processed foods and excessive sugar while staying hydrated can make a significant difference in maintaining a healthy weight and a positive mindset.

The average Somali diet is terrible because it consists of too many carbs e.g., canjeero/laxoox, baasto, malawax, and bariis without sufficient protein. You don’t need to cut all of these foods but you could supplement them with extra protein such as Salmon, tuna, chicken, lamb, e.t.c.

Moderation is key so not overfeed yourself.

 

[A Mean Guy]

4. Fitness
Fitness is a key component of building self-esteem and improving overall well-being. Regular physical activity, whether it's strength training, cardio or even sports not only enhances physical appearance but also boosts mental health by releasing endorphins, which reduce stress and elevate mood.
First, let's start by determining your end goal based on your body type
Fat type

1. Calculate Your Daily Caloric Needs: Use a calorie calculator to determine your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE).This gives you an estimate of how many calories you need to maintain your current weight.
2. Aim to consume about 500 to 750 fewer calories per day than your TDEE. This typically results in a gradual and sustainable weight loss of about 1 to 1.5 pounds per week. Avoid extreme deficits as they can lead to nutrient deficiencies and other health issues.
3. Keep track of the calories you consume using a food diary or a mobile app. Pay attention to portion sizes and the calorie content of different foods. Focus on nutrient-dense foods like vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains, which can help you feel full longer while staying within your calorie limit.

Skinny type

1. Increase Caloric Intake: To gain weight, you need to consume more calories than you burn. Start by adding an additional 300 to 500 calories per day to your current intake and adjust as needed based on your progress.
2. Focus on Nutrient-Dense Foods: Opt for foods that are high in both calories and nutrients. Incorporate foods like lean meats, dairy products, legumes, and starchy vegetables. These foods provide the necessary vitamins, minerals, and protein to support healthy weight gain.
3. Strength Training: Engage in regular strength training exercises to build muscle mass, which contributes to healthy weight gain.
4. Eat More Frequently: Increase the number of meals and snacks throughout the day to boost calorie intake. Eating every 2-3 hours can help ensure a steady supply of nutrients and calories.

Skinny fat type
A lot of Somalis fall under this category. They are in between fat and skinny.

If you’re skinny fat meaning you’re slim but have a higher percentage of body fat with relatively low muscle mass your goal should not be to lose weight. Instead, focus on building muscle and improving body composition. Simply losing the little fat you have without increasing muscle mass can result in a less toned, less defined physique. Here's a better approach:

1. Prioritise Strength Training
2. Increase Protein Intake. 1.2-1.7 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight per day, or 0.5 to 0.8 grams per pound of body weight.

Once you start to gain weight through muscle building and proper nutrition, you'll begin to fill out your frame and enhance your overall physique.

 

[A Mean Guy]

Workout plan
I have seen Somali men increasingly going to the gym which is really cool to see but going to the gym is the easy part, you need a good workout plan.
If you are an absolute beginner, I recommend a 3 day a week full body plan.
Good full body 3 days: https://www.strengthlog.com/strengthlogs-full-body-hypertrophy/
Push Pull Legs: https://www.strengthlog.com/push-pull-legs-split/
Upper Lower split: This is the one I currently do:

Upper day 1
Bench press
Incline dumbbell press
Lat pulldown
Barbell row
Dumbbell shoulder press
Cable lateral raise
Dumbbell curl
Barbell lying tricep extension

Lower day 1
Barbell lunge
Leg press
Leg extension
Lying leg curl
Standing calf raise
Seated calf raise

Upper day 2
Machine chest fly
Incline bench press
Dumbbell chest press
Close grip seated row
Dumbbell row
Dumbbell lateral raise
Machine bicep curl
Tricep pushdown

Lower day 2
Squat
Bulgarian split squat
Standing calf raise

How many reps and sets should you do?
You should aim for 2-3 sets of 6-12 reps. As soon as you can do 12 reps with proper form and technique, Increase the weight.
Nobody cares about how much you can lift in the gym as a beginner, no one is looking at you. Everyone is only focussed on themselves so don't feel too bad about lifting small light weights.
Proper form and warmups is vital if you want to build a good body. Don't injure yourself and set your progress back weeks.

 

[A Mean Guy]

5. Career
There is no shame in being employed in any job or career but there is shame in being unemployed. When individuals find purpose and satisfaction in their work, it significantly boosts their confidence and sense of worth. Achieving professional goals, gaining recognition, and feeling valued in a career contribute to a positive self-image and overall well-being.

If you want to go to university, choose a field of study that offers practical benefits and aligns with your long-term career goals. Pursuing a degree in a discipline with strong job prospects can set you up for a successful and fulfilling career, providing both financial stability and personal satisfaction.

However, if university isn't the right path for you, consider an apprenticeship. Apprenticeships offer hands-on experience and practical skills in various trades and professions, often leading to well-paying jobs and career advancement

Conversely, you can pursue a trade, which are often a lucrative alternative to traditional university education. Trades such as plumbing, electrical work, carpentry, and HVAC provide hands-on skills that are in high demand across various industries. Trade careers often come with the benefits of job stability, competitive salaries, and the opportunity to work independently or start your own business.

All these paths require you to persevere through challenges and setbacks. The key is to remain resilient and committed to your goals, even when things get tough. Keep pushing forward, learning from each experience, and adapting your approach as needed.

 

[A Mean Guy]

6. Fashion
Fashion plays a significant role in shaping self-image and can deeply influence how one feels about themselves and how others perceive them. It’s important for grown men to develop a style that reflects maturity and confidence, rather than clinging to trends that may be more appropriate for teenagers. Dressing in a way that is age-appropriate and well-tailored can enhance self-esteem, projecting an image of professionalism and self-respect.

Ditch the nike techs and tracksuits. Replace them with clothes that will make others respect your opinion.

1. Smart-Casual. Smart-casual attire is versatile and appropriate for a range of settings, from work to social events. It strikes a balance between formal and relaxed, allowing you to look polished while still being comfortable. e.g., : Chinos, tailored jeans, button-down shirts, and casual blazers.
2. Layering - Layering allows you to adapt your outfit to different weather conditions and occasions. It adds depth and dimension to your look while enabling you to mix and match various styles.
3. I think u get the point lol .....

The most important thing in clothes is fitting. Make sure your clothes actually fit you. You can go for an oversized look but please don't go near skinny jeans. It's 2024 now.

There are several different style types; Old Money, Streetwear, Athleisure, Minimalism. e.t.c, Pick a good age appropriate one.

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[A Mean Guy]

7. Financial literacy
Understand how to manage money effectively such as budgeting, saving, investing, and avoiding debt. When you are financially savvy, you gain the ability to make choices that support your aspirations and enhance your quality of life.
Here are some good books.

This is warren buffet's favourite book, it was written a while back and might seem outdated but the concepts are still relevant today.

Spoiler

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Don't try to get rich quick. Anyone promising more than 10% returns on your money year is a scam artist. The hedge funds with 1000s of ivy league graduates cannot even give you more than 10% returns a year consistently, what makes you think some rando will.

Lastly, be a curious person, don't waste your time with self help books. Relying solely on them might provide only a temporar§y sense of achievement rather than fostering real, lasting growth.

 

[A Mean Guy]

Ask yourself this: Will your 14-year-old self be proud of who you’ve become?

That younger version of you envisioned a future full of potential and possibilities, and it’s crucial to honour that vision by working towards a meaningful and fulfilling life. The dreams and aspirations you had as a teenager reflect your core values and ambitions, and striving to achieve them ensures that you stay true to yourself.

Remember, you don’t have to tackle everything all at once. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, so focus on gradually implementing these changes at a manageable pace.

PS: This is not a gender war thread, so if you have any strong opinions about the opposite gender, then you are not welcome here.

 

[abdi_]

Your last point about staying true to oneself is very apt. I made the following post earlier but deleted it because I did not wan to break your combo.

A actual useful thread, that offers solutions and guidance. Thank you for taking the time to write this. I am in the process of building a comprehensive workout routine, so I will definitely be taking this into consideration.

 

[A Mean Guy]

A actual useful thread, that offers solutions and guidance. Thank you for taking the time to write this. I am in the process of building a comprehensive workout routine, so I will definitely be taking this into consideration.

Appreciate it.

There is so much information out there on the internet, sometimes it gets overwhelming just searching through it.
Good luck on your workouts.

This guys videos are good for perfecting your warm ups and form:

Squat University

As doctor of physical therapy, coach, speaker, and author of the Wall Street Journal Bestselling book 'Rebuilding Milo' and 'The Squat Bible', Dr. Aaron Horschig works with athletes of all competitive levels and backgrounds get out of pain & find their true strength. Get 'Rebuilding Milo' &...

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