Is small nikah in the mosque with a small walima the sunnah way common?

[Kkkk]

I don’t want a wedding to be honest, complete waste of time and energy. I’m planning to get married, however I feel like family etc will pressure me to have a typical wedding/aroos which cost a fortune and will have to wait probably a year or two. I believe I’m ready now and a simple nikah will do.

How common in the Somali community where only nikah and a small gathering/walima happen?
I trust want to put Islam first and follow the sunnah not culture.

 

[Vacelere]

I saw a lot of aroos done in masjid.

A launch for the people in the masjid and that's is.

I support this idea, you can use the rest of the wedding money for a travelling

 

[Ashraf]

Not sure tbh but if your future wife wants one you defo need to have one. Girls are romantics and have probably fantasised about having a dreamy wedding from a young age.( this doesn’t apply to all girls) but from what I know weddings are usually cherished and for a lot, are the happiest day of their life and a unforgettable memory. You can have a nice wedding it doesn’t have to be expensive. I don’t want a wedding either tbh not because I think it’s a waste but because I’m socially awkward and will probably cringe the whole time. If you ready now and a simple nikkah is also what your future lady wants then I’d say go ahead but if not I wouldn’t ask her to compromise on it simply because you wouldn’t understand how much a women values the experience of a wedding. Have a good wedding and a better honeymoon it will set the tone for the marriage, if your struggling financially with it be open about it and finds way to work around it instead of dismissing the idea completely because it’s inconvenient for your wallet

 

[Kkkk]

I saw a lot of aroos done in masjid.

A launch for the people in the masjid and that's is.

I support this idea, you can use the rest of the wedding money for a travelling

What if the parents disagree and want aroos, typical big weddings etc?

 

[Kkkk]

Not sure tbh but if your future wife wants one you defo need to have one. Girls are romantics and have probably fantasised about having a dreamy wedding from a young age.( this doesn’t apply to all girls) but from what I know weddings are usually cherished and for a lot, are the happiest day of their life and a unforgettable memory. You can have a nice wedding it doesn’t have to be expensive. I don’t want a wedding either tbh not because I think it’s a waste but because I’m socially awkward and will probably cringe the whole time. If you ready now and a simple nikkah is also what your future lady wants then I’d say go ahead but if not I wouldn’t ask her to compromise on it simply because you wouldn’t understand how much a women values the experience of a wedding. Have a good wedding and a better honeymoon it will set the tone for the marriage, if your struggling financially with it be open about it and finds way to work around it instead of dismissing the idea completely because it’s inconvenient for your wallet

But still at the end of the day, it will put huge amount of financial burden on the husband though, what’s with these materialist desires? Why can’t we just follow the sunnah properly do the nikah simple and straight forward, and a celebration gathering at the masjid or even your house with food etc. use whatever money you have for saving like buying a house or going in a vacation.

 

[Ashraf]

But still at the end of the day, it will put huge amount of financial burden on the husband though, what’s with these materialist desires? Why can’t we just follow the sunnah properly do the nikah simple and straight forward, and a celebration gathering at the masjid or even your house with food etc. use whatever money you have for saving like buying a house or going in a vacation.

If it’s gonna give you a massive financial burden then I’d advise against it. But contrary to what you think weddings don’t have to be expensive, you can book a good venue have a lot of friends and family + good food and it would be a couple grand. It doesn’t have to be a luxury wedding. Also I wouldn’t call it materialist desires it’s a tradition there’s no material gain from it. If you can find a wife who’s content with having a nikkah and celebration at the mosque I’d say that’s cool but the vast majority of women now a days would like a wedding. You can still save for a house and go on vacation even if you have a big aroos the two aren’t mutually exclusive. A couple grand isn’t gonna stop you from buying a house or going on vacation. Don’t have such a pessimistic and dismissive view of aroos it’s a tradition and celebration of a life you will share with another human for what is supposed to be the rest of your life, a couple grand ain’t gonna kill your dreams of having a house and it won’t bankrupt you. Ideally you should be going into marriage with a couple grand saved up anyway considering the fact that your wife is supposed to have access to your money, if she’s asking for a lavish and expensive wedding don’t be ashamed to disagree but regardless she still has a right to A wedding if she deems it so. It’s a prerequisite to a happy marriage. Happy wife= happy life as the saying goes

 

[Kkkk]

If it’s gonna give you a massive financial burden then I’d advise against it. But contrary to what you think weddings don’t have to be expensive, you can book a good venue have a lot of friends and family + good food and it would be a couple grand. It doesn’t have to be a luxury wedding. Also I wouldn’t call it materialist desires it’s a tradition there’s no material gain from it. If you can find a wife who’s content with having a nikkah and celebration at the mosque I’d say that’s cool but the vast majority of women now a days would like a wedding. You can still save for a house and go on vacation even if you have a big aroos the two aren’t mutually exclusive. A couple grand isn’t gonna stop you from buying a house or going on vacation. Don’t have such a pessimistic and dismissive view of aroos it’s a tradition and celebration of a life you will share with another human for what is supposed to be the rest of your life, a couple grand ain’t gonna kill your dreams of having a house and it won’t bankrupt you. Ideally you should be going into marriage with a couple grand saved up anyway considering the fact that your wife is supposed to have access to your money, if she’s asking for a lavish and expensive wedding don’t be ashamed to disagree but regardless she still has a right to A wedding if she deems it so. It’s a prerequisite to a happy marriage. Happy wife= happy life as the saying goes

Tradition ie “culture” Islam comes first. I guarantee you divorce rate wouldn’t be soo high if deen came first. People be having glamorous weddings no baraka/ no blessing. Most people only care about the food, and flirting on earth other rather than the actual husband and wife marriage of celebration.

Ohhh and 6 months down the line they get divorced. Soo much for spending loads of money for a wedding.

 

[Pizza man]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Kkkk]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

How?

 

[Bari]

Your priority should be finding a girl that is okay with that, you also need to frame it in a way that makes her more likely/eager to agree. Once you've come to an understanding you have to make sure she doesnt let her family sway her decision. Remember, the priority is always going to be you and your wife, do whats best for yourselves as a unit and dont worry about other people, they have their own lives and marriages to worry about anyways.

 

[Pizza man]

How?

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Vacelere]

What if the parents disagree and want aroos, typical big weddings etc?

The aroos is the business of both brides.

And of course you must make it clear from the beginning.

 

[gasara]

Tradition ie “culture” Islam comes first. I guarantee you divorce rate wouldn’t be soo high if deen came first. People be having glamorous weddings no baraka/ no blessing. Most people only care about the food, and flirting on earth other rather than the actual husband and wife marriage of celebration.

Ohhh and 6 months down the line they get divorced. Soo much for spending loads of money for a wedding.

I’ve seen people do big weddings and they are still married till this day. And I’ve also seen people do Small house wedding/ mosque and didn’t last even one year. If you don’t want a wedding you need to find a girl who doesn’t care for one. You should tell your future spouse your plans as soon as you get to talking about marriage with them. Personally for me I’d say just do a small cute wedding outdoors? There’s many cheap ones you can do. Or just use the money to travel somewhere idk. I think having a wedding or some sort of event with those you love and cherish is beautiful.

 

[Ashraf]

I’ve seen people do big weddings and they are still married till this day. And I’ve also seen people do Small house wedding/ mosque and didn’t last even one year. If you don’t want a wedding you need to find a girl who doesn’t care for one. You should tell your future spouse your plans as soon as you get to talking about marriage with them. Personally for me I’d say just do a small cute wedding outdoors? There’s many cheap ones you can do. Or just use the money to travel somewhere idk. I think having a wedding or some sort of event with those you love and cherish is beautiful.

Facts why’s bro acting like having a wedding is the end of the world

 

[amiirad]

small nikkah in the mosque and a small walima with girls only has kheyr in it.

 

[amiirad]

small nikkah in the mosque and a small walima with girls only has kheyr in it.

Uqbah ibn ‘Amir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best marriage is one that is easiest.”

In another narration, the Prophet said, “The best dowry is one that is easiest.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 4163

 

[gasara]

Facts why’s bro acting like having a wedding is the end of the world

Idek. If he’s scared of people mixing just put women on one side and men on the other. If you can’t afford the cost of a wedding that’s fine it’s understandable. But weddings are beautiful.