'Keeping a man'.

[Halimo-2018]

The phrase has always irked me and I always found it misogynistic. Why is it that men 'need to be kept', and women are shamed for their divorce when many women leave simply because their husbands couldn't/ wouldn't give them their rights?

It implies that relationships are one way, and that marriage is simply about male happiness. It also, got me wondering, if society is so obsessed with women fulfilling the needs of
men and instructing women on being good wives, what about women's happiness? Women's emotional and physical needs?

Its beginning to dawn on me, that there is no emphasis on men 'keeping women' so do you think many men go into relationships with either no clue or at worse no care?

You're finally waking up it means most men are selfish the woman controls the relationship but that's a heck of a stress for my taste to each their own.

 

[Juke]

The thing is, people can co-parent. Whilst this is not ideal, certain communities simply refuse to do this.

And that's the whole point of "keeping a man". The children will be more dysfunctional and worse off than 2 parent homes.

 

[Caaro]

Why because I believe that both men and women should try and keep each other happy?

Anyone who has issues with my post clearly thinks marriage is one sided and that only the man's needs should be taken into consideration.

That’s not what I have an issue with. I agree with your first point, but that’s not what your thread is about.

You were talking about the phrase “keeping a man”. I see no problem with that phrase, if you like a man and you think he’s perfect for you. Wouldn’t you WANT to keep him?

Also, my first post was getting at the fact that talking about this type of topic is just a waste of time. In reality these kinds of things only affect you if you let it affect you. So what’s the point of babbling over something that won’t affect you?

 

[Angelina]

Before you accuse every person with having “comprehension issues”. You should take a step back, and think. “Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I am just misconveying my point?”.

But of course that would require minimal self awareness.

Yes, you do.

You've clearly not read my post properly because if you did, you wouldn't be going off on me like this.

Its either

A. You have comprehension issues.

B. Think that marriage is a one way street in which women should only think about 'keeping a man' whilst their rights and needs are ignored.

Maybe that is why you're so triggered?

 

[Angelina]

That’s not what I have an issue with. I agree with your first point, but that’s not what your thread is about.

You were talking about the phrase “keeping a man”. I see no problem with that phrase, if you like a man and you think he’s perfect for you. Wouldn’t you WANT to keep him?

Also, my first post was getting at the fact that talking about this type of topic is just a waste of time. In reality these kinds of things only affect you if you let it affect you. So what’s the point of babbling over something that won’t affect you?

It is a problem phrase considering this is something historically thrown at women and never men. Futhermore, even in cases in which a woman had every right to leave she will still be painted as someone that cannot 'keep a man'.

You know that divorced women are treated a lot more harshly and no one gives a shit for the reason why they had to leave. They are all lumped together.

You can divorce 8 women and have a known track record of not being able to keep a woman and that will not be used against you.

That is the reality.

And what message does that leave men and women? That women's happiness in marriage is secondary or not even vital in a marriage as men's needs is the significant one.

I think both parties should treat each other well and try to keep each other happy. I've said this several times, yet here you are of accusing me of what exactly lol?

Yep, you probably do have comprehension problems.

 

[Caaro]

It is a problem phrase considering this is something historically thrown at women and never men. Futhermore, even in cases in which a woman had every right to leave she will still be painted as someone that cannot 'keep a man'.

You know that divorced women are treated a lot more harshly and no one gives a shit for the reason why they had to leave. They are all lumped together.

You can divorce 8 women and have a known track record of not being able to keep a woman and that will not be used against you.

That is the reality.

I think both parties should treat each other well and try to keep each other happy. I've said this several times, yet here you are of accusing me of what exactly lol?

Yep, you probably do have comprehension problems.

It seems like you just recently learned the word “comprehension”.

Let’s look at it this way. Women are marrying men, not other men. So when a man has married 8 women and divorced them all, it doesn’t matter how men see him, what matters is how women continue to see him and whether they choose to marry him or not.

So you’re mad because of the fact that WOMEN don’t see a man as “not being able to keep a woman” after how many divorces? Whose fault is that besides WOMEN’s.

If no man wants to marry a woman because she divorced twice. You can’t complain because every single man has god given autonomy of over who they want to marry. They can choose to not marry a woman because of her last name.

Like I said, it’s YOUR life. be the change you want to see. Don’t marry a divorced man, idgaf. Tell your sisters, friends, daughters, anyone, to not marry a divorced a man. Do something at least instead of being bitter on sspot.

 

[Boogie]

If you guys continue arguing I will join the Akh-right movement

 

[Caaro]

If you guys continue arguing I will join the Akh-right movement

join it, we don’t care

 

[Angelina]

It seems like you just recently learned the word “comprehension”.

Let’s look at it this way. Women are marrying men, not other men. So when a man has married 8 women and divorced them all, it doesn’t matter how men see him, what matters is how women continue to see him and whether they choose to marry him or not.

So you’re mad because of the fact that WOMEN don’t see a man as “not being able to keep a woman” after how many divorces? Whose fault is that besides WOMEN’s.

If no man wants to marry a woman because she divorced twice. You can’t complain because every single man has god given autonomy of over who they want to marry. They can choose to not marry a woman because of her last name.

Like I said, it’s YOUR life. be the change you want to see. Don’t marry a divorced man, idgaf. Tell your sisters, friends, daughters, anyone, to not marry a divorced a man. Do something at least instead of being bitter on sspot.

We live in a man's world and we are all products of society. That is why sexist programming and views are rampant, but someone like you who has no understanding of context or how power dynamic works will not be able to fully understand this. Both men and women are raised with that thinking that men's needs come before women's. Ask yourself, why does me acknowledging this bother you, trigger you?

Love the way you've tried to reduce my whole argument to men not marrying divorced women, when it is a lot more deeper than that.

 

[Zoobear]

You should study law and become a lawyer walal, I'm not trying to be rude. You have a passion for arguing.

 

[Nafiso Qalanjo]

Cant believe there are male users on here triggered because the op suggested that a marriage isnt about owning a women

 

[Boogie]

Cant believe there are male users on here triggered because the op suggested that a marriage isnt about owning a women like

For me it's because these threads are repetitive

 

[Nafiso Qalanjo]

For me it's because these threads are repetitive

 

[Juliet]

Lol, stop with the retarded shit Huuno,you are a female and the ratio of women and men works against you, if you can't keep him happy then another women will, try your best otherwise you will be whining on SomaliSpot for ever.

There’s more men than women in this world

 

[Boogie]

Yea this thread are boring because the OP know what reaction she is gonna get

Her gal pals- Go slay sis!!!!
Dwellers- women need to do this and that this and that

Everyone else doesnt care then OP argues with the dweller

 

[Boogie]

There’s more men than women in this world

Not for long a sign of qiyamah is when there is 50 women to 1 men

 

[Caaro]

Whats funny is that women perpetuate this thinking. Men (most, not all) benefit from this arrangement, so why would they have a problem with it?

The message, is actually sad if you think about it. The amount of insecurity one must feel to believe that they must work to "keep" a man is crazy. I actually feel sorry for those types of women. A man is not an entity that needs to be "kept" and if I were a man, I'd be downright insulted to be viewed in that manner.

exactly lol, men of course want to be sought after and be treated like kings. While at the same time, men aren't the ones marrying men and treating them like royalty, women are.

Men aren't the ones marrying men who have 5 baby mamas, women are.

 

[Caaro]

Both men and women are raised with that thinking that men's needs come before women's. Ask yourself, why does me acknowledging this bother you, trigger you?

I'm not bothered or triggered. You acknowledged it, now what?

Love the way you've tried to reduce my whole argument to men not marrying divorced women, when it is a lot more deeper than that.

You say it's much deeper than that but you don't mention it. Literally the only point you've made was that women are shamed for divorces whereas no one cares if a man divorces 8 times. I just replied to that. You saw that what I said made sense so you just cop out and say "it's a lot deeper than that.

In all honesty, you're a blockhead. I'm done arguing with you, it's going nowhere.

 

[SOMALIKNIGHT]

This thread makes me laugh. There are going to be alot of single women and a lot of single mothers. Feminism will be your downfall. As the Bosnian man @Molotoff said, men don't need much. They are simple creatures but you must also not need much. Change your mindset.

 

[Lostbox]

Have you forgotten what men hear?

"Happy wife, happy life"


There also

"No wife, no kids, no problem in life"