Have you ever been to Hayes ? It is on the side of London and a complete cesspool .If you are a lander go to west London especially Hayes. As you said you want to avoid South and east(which is the right thing because both of them are xaar) North is also good but make sure you avoid Camden
@OP,
I can get you cheap Somali rent for a
£200 PayPal donation, provided you don't kaadi all over the toilet .