Marriage

[Angelina]

might be a bit controversial for some. But in order to widen your pool, also go for guys that are a bit younger. A year or two isn’t going to kill you. A lot of women are dramatic.

My cousin is 28, she got married to a 26 yr old. Everyone in the fam were just like:

But she bagged herself a good one LOL.

 

[jemappelle]

might be a bit controversial for some. But in order to widen your pool, also go for guys that are a bit younger. A year or two isn’t going to kill you. A lot of women are dramatic.

My cousin is 28, she got married to a 26 yr old. Everyone in the fam were just like:


But she bagged herself a good one LOL.

What is it with women they see a man who is even 1 or 2 years younger than them as a baby.
But if you don't tell them your age they don't see you as a baby

 

[Angelina]

What is it with women they see a man who is even 1 or 2 years younger than them as a baby.
But if you don't tell them your age they don't see you as a baby

Immaturity. You’re a kid, so don’t expect a girl of your age group to give you a chance if you’re slightly younger. When women are that young, they’re stuck on social conventions rather than going for what actually benefits them.

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[jemappelle]

Immaturity.

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No because if I don't tell a girl my age they will think I am just a normal guy and older than I actually but if I tell them how young I am they get shocked. They also tend to see you as a kid once you tell them your age for some reason.

 

[Angelina]

No because if I don't tell a girl my age they will think I am just a normal guy and older than I actually but if I tell them how young I am they get shocked. They also tend to see you as a kid once you tell them your age for some reason.

Yep, I understand your point. I’m talking about the girls being immature, not you. A girl will turn down a man who is more mature than her and is manly because he’s a year or two younger. That comes from a place of immaturity. Once they’re older, they’ll weigh up the pros and cons better and realize that letting go of a man because he’s a yr younger but Is nothing btw once you’re approaching 30.

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[jemappelle]

Yep, I understand your point. I’m talking about the girls being immature, not you. A girl will turn down a man who is more mature than her and is manly because he’s a year or two younger. That comes from a place of immaturity. Once they’re older, they’ll weigh up the pros and cons better and realize that letting go of a man because he’s a yr younger but Is nothing btw once you’re approaching 30.

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Yh I agree it is immaturity from women aswell, it makes no sense to me why they think like that.
I know a couple women who don't think like that though and don't care about the age of a man

 

[Yaraye]

might be a bit controversial for some. But in order to widen your pool, also go for guys that are a bit younger. A year or two isn’t going to kill you. A lot of women are dramatic.

My cousin is 28, she got married to a 26 yr old. Everyone in the fam were just like:

But she bagged herself a good one LOL.

Yep. As long as he is a good catch and interested, why not? Some of the women in my family have married younger guys. One of my aunts's husband is 5-6 yrs younger than her. Great catch tho.

 

[Kalsoon]

Hey abaayo. There many sisters go through the same thing. There are so many eligible sisters but not enough good men. There is a marriage subreddit called r/muslimmarriages they have a thread for people looking to get married. There are somali people on there but there are also ajanabis. fill out the questions and you might find your calaf. Inshallah you will find a spouse, just pray istikhara and be hopeful.

marriage thread

Lol, you reminded me about that subreddit. Haven’t seen it for a few years. How do people verify the person they are speaking to on there is actually Somali though? There are a lot more other ethnicities on there.

The last replies to that iso thread weren’t recent either. Do people just message people whose profile they like?

 

[iskufilann]

Going to reddit to find a marriage partner is a big no no.

OMGGG that is a BIG NO NO!!! Since when did Reddit become "Tinder" inabti

 

[greenvegetables]

Ma’am I felt the same as you. I HAD to marry within my community because xyz (mostly brainwash). Now I’ve married outside my race and I’ve benefited and grown infinitely.

 

[Kalsoon]

Ma’am I felt the same as you. I HAD to marry within my community because xyz (mostly brainwash). Now I’ve married outside my race and I’ve benefited and grown infinitely.

In what ways did you grow

 

[Ozymandias]

Sorry if this is an overdone conversation, but I’d like to hear other people’s thoughts.

Myself (26F) and other friends of mine are finding it difficult to find suitable Somali men to marry within the US. Lol before you ask if we’re lacking in some area (we’re not perfect but - we’re all educated, have good jobs, are practicing, self aware…etc.
We’ve tried Salam and Muzmatch before and came to the conclusion that most of the men on there weren’t very serious or were looking for an ego boost in the form of likes and validation. I don’t live in heavily populated Somali community so I figured meeting people online would be more fitting, but if anything it’s been more challenging. I find it easier to communicate with ajinabis because they are actually directly expressing interest, but I personally want to pursue a future with someone from my culture.

I’m just confused?? My standards and my friends standards aren’t exceptionally high, they’re very basic qualities like good manners, family oriented, financially ok, practicing Muslim..etc - but so far, all of the men I’ve spoken to have been aloof, unserious, inappropriate, feminine - it’s just so bizarre to me. Even the potential suitors my mom tried to connect me with are lacking something that I can’t overlook.
I know that everything is qadr of Allah and there’s a possibility that I’ll never get married, but I’m starting to feel a little anxious as I age. I don’t want to dwell on it but seeing my married friends experience pregnancy and grow their families makes me want that for myself too.

Is anyone else facing the same challenge? How do you navigate relationships on these dating apps - are you more forward?

simple, just date and marry out of your culture. It won't hamper anyone.