Marrying someone who's family has bad rep

[geeljre49]

Would you marry a someone who ticks all your boxes but their family has bad rep in society e.g alcoholic parent, ciyaal suuq sibling etc?

 

[EyiPunter]

Would you marry a someone who ticks all your boxes but their family has bad rep in society e.g alcoholic parent, ciyaal suuq sibling etc?

This is difficult , because you are not just marrying that person but you are marrying into that family. If she decides hey she gone leave her state and your far from her family yes. but y'all living in the same state with them no, due to her getting pulled back and worth to chaos.

 

[Abu Hesi]

I wouldn't take that risk.

 

[Yaraye]

 

[jusbrowsin]

as long as shes good, why would I lose a potential based on something she can't control?

 

[LilBang]

I wouldn’t go near them risks if I were you

 

[Shimbiris]

If they're chill and it's just the fam? Sure. I'll enjoy watching the shitshow from my balcony view.

 

[ilmoweyn]

Would you marry a someone who ticks all your boxes but their family has bad rep in society e.g alcoholic parent, ciyaal suuq sibling etc?

It could have been you with the alcoholic parent, just be happy that she's perfect and set boundaries

 

[gasara]

Would you marry a someone who ticks all your boxes but their family has bad rep in society e.g alcoholic parent, ciyaal suuq sibling etc?

I dont want my children getting influenced by that behaviour so no. Kids get influenced very easily its crazy. I would marry the individual if my kids never stay with their family and only the good ones come to my home other wise hard no.

 

[SixthAbdi]

A lot of Somalis grow up in single parent households, would you consider that to be a bad rep?

 

[Keep it a boqol]

Growing up in any family, especially a dysfunctional one often means having to unlearn bad habits and do a lot of inner work to become a good partner and build a healthy marriage. People can carry toxic traits or unresolved trauma from their parents into their relationships, like struggling with emotional regulation, unhealthy coping mechanisms, anger management etc.

Every family has its own issues, so it’s not about judging someone for their background. The real concern is whether they’re willing to grow, improve, and break those cycles. Becoming a good partner—and a better person—is something we’re expected to strive for every day, not just for ourselves, but as part of our faith and values.

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[Bille]

Would you marry a someone who ticks all your boxes but their family has bad rep in society e.g alcoholic parent, ciyaal suuq sibling etc?

Your future kids have the right to spend quality time with their aunts, their uncles, and their grandparents.

You have a big decision to make.

 

[El Nino]

If she accepts the hardline that the kids will spent most of the time with my (functioning) family. Only way for the relationship to work.

She would have to be incredible woman for me to overlook her family.

I really sympathise with people who have bad family members. Have heard of cases where potential marriages were denied due to ciyaalsuuq or otherwise degenerate family members. I understand why but I fully don’t agree with it. Good people deserve to marry good folks too. As a father, the potential groom would have to win me over.

 

[Unicorn]

Nope. This is one thing my parents always preach. The family tht person comes from will affect u and the kids u have in the future.

 

[Grimmer]

If she accepts the hardline that the kids will spent most of the time with my (functioning) family. Only way for the relationship to work.

She would have to be incredible woman for me to overlook her family.

I really sympathise with people who have bad family members. Have heard of cases where potential marriages were denied due to ciyaalsuuq or otherwise degenerate family members. I understand why but I fully don’t agree with it. Good people deserve to marry good folks too. As a father, the potential groom would have to win me over.

I definitely agree with this. At the end of the day, you’re a grown man, and the primary concern should always be the well being of your children since they are very vulnerable. While it’s natural for her and her family to want to spend time with the child, that’s where the biggest challenge lies. The environment her family creates could really impact the child’s upbringing. If her family exhibits problematic behaviors, there’s a real risk of exposing your children to negative influences.

 

[Grimmer]

My father always told me that the most important time your children will need you is when you choose their mother.

 

[El Nino]

I definitely agree with this. At the end of the day, you’re a grown man, and the primary concern should always be the well being of your children since they are very vulnerable. While it’s natural for her and her family to want to spend time with the child, that’s where the biggest challenge lies. The environment her family creates could really impact the child’s upbringing. If her family exhibits problematic behaviors, there’s a real risk of exposing your children to negative influences.

100%.

I forgot to add there is varying levels of broken families. 1-2 siblings off the rails while lets say the rest 4-5 and the parents are good pious people. Caadi, you can marry the girl and not worry much. Most important factor is how pious the family overall is.

If 3 siblings out 6 are degenerates, its a huge no no. Very big gamble and the odds are not in your favour. Same case if the mother of the bride has bad manners. Automatic disqualification unfortunately.

 

[Pizza man]

Nope.

Seen it happen a couple times in real life, you'll live in hell and 9/10 get divorced

 

[The truth seeker]

If a girl has a poor father figure what makes you think she’ll make a good wife

 

[gasara]

If a girl has a poor father figure what makes you think she’ll make a good wife

That’s false. I’ve seen the most kindest people who’ve had horrible parents yet they were the best. It’s what Allah ordains.