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[Mohammedyousef]

Asc I need advice I live in planing to get marry soon inshallah. The girl asked for 110 gram gold I told her i afford 70gram gold and that I wanna go to umrah with her. She completed doesn’t wanna listen to my plan and saying no I want 110gram and she keep saying her friend and mother think is low bare in mind she’s 25 years,
Is weird cause am marrying her not her mother or friends my head is all over the place. He final answer was give 110gram or don’t marry me. Am thinking about leaving her if she already giving me ultimatum and not listening anything am saying,

 

[AbdiFreedom]

She's not spouse material and is not excited to marry you. I'd advise not to marry her even if she later agrees to 70 grams. She is not someone who is going to be a team player or understanding during marriage. You dodged a bullet and guaranteed divorce. This isn't even about the gold anymore. Take it from someone who constantly has to listen to some of my friends' and acquaintances' marital problems and expressing huge regret marrying the wrong person. It's devastating and they have dead eyes. She's a huge red flag. Plenty of people in the sea. This goes for both men and women and is not an anti-"Xalimo" post.

 

[Kalsoon]

Wcs. She has a right to ask for what she wants.

It really shows how little she cares for you though. Only what her mom and friend say matter to her not what you are telling her. That’s a sign of immaturity and lack of self-awareness. Why marry someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart and wants only to take from you..

Reread it and it seems she is trying to manipulate you to get her way.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Asc I need advice I live in planing to get marry soon inshallah. The girl asked for 110 gram gold I told her i afford 70gram gold and that I wanna go to umrah with her. She completed doesn’t wanna listen to my plan and saying no I want 110gram and she keep saying her friend and mother think is low bare in mind she’s 25 years,
Is weird cause am marrying her not her mother or friends my head is all over the place. He final answer was give 110gram or don’t marry me. Am thinking about leaving her if she already giving me ultimatum and not listening anything am saying,

If she liked you she would be trying to get married to you not placing ultimatums on you but on the other hand 110 grams of gold in £ is only around 5-7 approximately correct me if I'm wrong.

So why not give it if you really like her?

Personally if she doesn't wanna see my side of things if I'm struggling then I would just move on.

I think it's best for guys to start talking to women for marriage when there still broke or at least not anywhere near there projected financial peak/goal. That way you know if she wants your money or you and if you can't pay what she asks then just move on its her right after all don't try to negotiate after you already made your financial state clear she asked for that amount for a reason maybe to politely decline you because she really ain't into you or because she doesn't care about you like that both you don't want in your life.

Yout other choice is to wait until your up

 

[GaradShabeel]

I think it's best for guys to start talking to women for marriage when there still broke or at least not anywhere near there projected financial peak/goal. That way you know if she wants your money or you and if you can't pay what she asks then just move on its her right after all don't try to negotiate after you already made your financial state clear she asked for that amount for a reason maybe to politely decline you because she really ain't into you or because she doesn't care about you like that both you don't want in your life.

Yout other choice is to wait until your up

Getting married while "broke" is not a good foundation to the marriage. The reason for most divorce nowadays, are finance related causes. Not uncommonly do people want children soon after, and not having a prospect of being comfortable lives as parents, will only result in more trouble.

On the other hand, just because you're doing well financially doesn't mean that you have out all of your business, from the get-go. By using tricks, you can eliminate people who only seek you for temporary financial gains.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Getting married while "broke" is not a good foundation to the marriage. The reason for most divorce nowadays, are finance related causes. Not uncommonly do people want children soon after, and not having a prospect of being comfortable lives as parents, will only result in more trouble.

On the other hand, just because you're doing well financially doesn't mean that you have out all of your business, from the get-go. By using tricks, you can eliminate people who only seek you for temporary financial gains.

I never said get married broke but start the talking process on your way to financial stability that way you know for certain if there in it for you and you can get married to them by the time you gain financial stability

 

[Yaraye]

how much is 110 gram of gold in dollars? I need a sense of estimate before i write judgment

 

[Yaraye]

from my research 110 gram seems to be $6500, while 70 gram seems to be $4100. From what I know the meher seems to be $5K at the least in the west and can go up to $20K, and even sometime $50K (tho that's a bit crazy). Most women ask for the average and go for $10K.

 

[Yaraye]

7 gram ($4100) and ummrah sounds nice tho! that's assuming that you'll cover the ummrah right?

 

[Odious Delirium]

View attachment 258082View attachment 258083
from my research 110 gram seems to be $6500, while 70 gram seems to be $4100. From what I know the meher seems to be $5K at the least in the west and can go up to $20K, and even sometime $50K (tho that's a bit crazy). Most women ask for the average and go for $10K.

Oh I was right it is approx £5k which is reasonable I guess

 

[Yaraye]

Oh I was right it is approx £5k which is reasonable I guess

$5K is ok but not by itself. It usually $5K and a honeymoon trip/ travel or ummrah. If it only money that's being discussed and nothing with it (like trip or ummrah) then the average is $10K. The higher ones will ask for $10K-$20K. The crazy ones will go $20K - infinity

 

[TheProfessor]

Asc I need advice I live in planing to get marry soon inshallah. The girl asked for 110 gram gold I told her i afford 70gram gold and that I wanna go to umrah with her. She completed doesn’t wanna listen to my plan and saying no I want 110gram and she keep saying her friend and mother think is low bare in mind she’s 25 years,
Is weird cause am marrying her not her mother or friends my head is all over the place. He final answer was give 110gram or don’t marry me. Am thinking about leaving her if she already giving me ultimatum and not listening anything am saying,

She is not worth it just move on

 

[Odious Delirium]

$5K is ok but not by itself. It usually $5K and a honeymoon trip/ travel or ummrah. If it only money that's being discussed and nothing with it then the average is $10K. The higher ones will ask for $10K-$20K. The crazy ones will go $20K - infinity

People actually Don't go on honeymoons or any trip of any sort? I thought that was a given

 

[Yaraye]

People actually Don't go on honeymoons or any trip of any sort? I thought that was a given

That's what I said! but recently I've been hearing that the men that are getting married these days try to include that as meher expenses. They'll say things like "$3K, and we'll go to a honeymoon" honeymoon trip is a given! cheap ass

 

[GaradShabeel]

That's what I said! but recently I've been hearing that the men that are getting married these days try to include that as meher expenses. They'll say things like "$3K, and we'll go to a honeymoon" honeymoon trip is a given! cheap ass

To add on it, I can't be the only one who think it's weird when the actual wedding cost severalfold the mehr?!?!

Obviously, oftentimes the family helps out, but still. The least you can do is wait a bit longer, while you save up more, until it's reasonable.

 

[Yaraye]

To add on it, I can't be the only one who think it's weird when the actual wedding cost severalfold the mehr?!?!

Obviously, often times the family helps out, but still. The least you can do is wait a bit longer, while you save up more, until it's reasonable.

yeah, saving up is the only way wish you luck saaxib

 

[Odious Delirium]

That's what I said! but recently I've been hearing that the men that are getting married these days try to include that as meher expenses. They'll say things like "$3K, and we'll go to a honeymoon" honeymoon trip is a given! cheap ass

Whatever they negotiate and agree upon is fine really whether it's a 1mil or a a single £1. I don't hate either way it's just a gift at the end of the day.

 

[TheProfessor]

yeah, saving up is the only way wish you luck saaxib

How much mahr do u want Ms @Yaraye tell us plz

 

[Yaraye]

Whatever they negotiate and agree upon is fine really whether it's a 1mil or a a single £1. I don't hate either way it's just a gift at the end of the day.

In islam, mehers are announced to the world to everyone. It is to established to the public that these two people are taken, and not on the market anymore. No woman will agree to a small meher, since it concerns their rep.

 

[Yaraye]

How much mahr do u want Ms @Yaraye tell us plz

Don't concern yourself with that