Not invited to my sisters wedding

[The_memesiah9]

True, but not everyone has that kind of relationship with their sibling or know the deen. when my sister was married she introduced the guy to me and my brother first. we researched him and then sat with him and talked to him.

If you came to the conclusion this guy, is a good muslim, he is financially stable and you say yes, no problem then it is valid, but if you say no or she does not even ask you and just marries then it is illegitimate marriage

 

[soomaa]

Why assume?
@soomaa what does your grandfather/uncle think about the marriage?

My grandfather died long before I was even born. And as for my uncles, ever since my dad passed away we haven't been in communication

 

[Caaro]

LOOOL I remember this post "I spent my whole life despising somali girls who marry ajnabis now my own sister is marrying one"

who knew the wedding day would come so soon and so fast. My honest advice is that you should go talk to him and meet him personally. Then after breaking the ice ask him how much he plans on paying for the wedding costs. Only ask this after you've made him comfortable, and see what his answer is. At the very least you deserve an answer. Does he not have a job?

 

[ReyRey]

Why assume?
@soomaa what does your grandfather/uncle think about the marriage?

Actually it's the brother who is assigned the role of Wali after the father dies. Not the paternal grandfather or uncle.

if the father is otherwise unavailable, guardianship should be assigned first to the woman's brother, then to the paternal grandfather than to the woman's son.... [then it] passes to the tribe of the brother, unless it is law/base/despicable, ... [then the] paternal uncle takes over, followed by his son, then other relatives in paternal relationships. ... Maternal relative only have a claim to marriage guardianship if there are not paternal relatives. ... the sultan or political leader may serve as the marriage guardian ... only if he is a just man .... Thus the critical factor in selecting an alternative marriage guardian is the man's adherence to justice, not his political position.

 

[The_memesiah9]

My grandfather died long before I was even born. And as for my uncles, ever since my dad passed away we haven't been in communication

Take the Islamic advices we gave you, it is your responsibility

 

[soomaa]

Will she buy his suit as well?

Well that was part of what our argument was about. She wanted me to drive him and her to town so she could get his suit fitted. She wanted me to contribute some money to his tailored suit. I said I had plans, I'd rather spend some loose change on my buddies than a guy who's suppose to be paying for his own wedding

 

[Happy_]

I think I know what‘s happening here but I‘m reluctant to say it. Just one thing: pray for her, she needs it

 

[Venetian]

Now she's his responsibilty.

shes older than him, what can he do. Might aswell cut ties and forget.

 

[The_memesiah9]

Well that was part of what our argument was about. She wanted me to drive him and her to town so she could get his suit fitted. She wanted me to contribute some money to his tailored suit. I said I had plans, I'd rather spend some loose change on my buddies than a guy who's suppose to be paying for his own wedding

Thats a big no

 

[ReyRey]

Well that was part of what our argument was about. She wanted me to drive him and her to town so she could get his suit fitted. She wanted me to contribute some money to his tailored suit. I said I had plans, I'd rather spend some loose change on my buddies than a guy who's suppose to be paying for his own wedding

Use that chance to call your boys and beat the f*ck out of him. He is a bum who doesn't deserve your sister. Man up and take charge warya! Make sure he doesn't want to marry your sister ever again!

 

[soomaa]

Take the Islamic advices we gave you, it is your responsibility

My responsibility is staying out of her business. I honestly hope it all works out fine, I'll approve. She's almost 10-years older than me and we have a long history of being in conflict with each other since childhood. I'm exhausted fighting her on everything, I don't have the energy to fight her on her own marriage. And her friends, all of them will hate me for being that brother that ruined their friend's big day.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

Well that was part of what our argument was about. She wanted me to drive him and her to town so she could get his suit fitted. She wanted me to contribute some money to his tailored suit. I said I had plans, I'd rather spend some loose change on my buddies than a guy who's suppose to be paying for his own wedding

 

[madaxweyne]

So my sister is getting married this weekend and I'm officially not invited. She's marrying this Jamaican dude who recently reverted and that she met at work, and I kid you not - but she's paying for her own wedding. Thats what made me so pissed off. She's getting married not only to an ajnabi, she's getting married without a mehr, and is actually paying all her wedding expenses out of her own pocket.

I tried to stop this madness. But my hooyo seems desperate to send her daughter off since she's getting too old, and seems to be more concerned with sending her daughter off to any man thats willing to marry her. My abo passed away three years ago of diabetes, his last words was to look out for my sisters.

I'm conflicted because on the one hand I don't want to make her wedding about me, and my feelings. Its her big day, and truthfully I don't have anything against the Jamaican dude. My only issue is how fast everything has transpired with virtually no checks and balances, how she's financing her own big day all by herself with absolutely no contributions from the guy who's suppose to be paying. Is mehr a Somali-only thing?

Anyways, me and my sister had an argument today about driving her to town to get her fitting done. I had plans with my boys and didn't anything to do with her pre-festivities so I digressed. She went on telling me how I'm not a decent brother and how she doesn't even want me to come to her wedding. I fell silent in total fustration. Did she think proper brotherly conduct meant bending the knee and dancing playfully along with everything she wants to do in life, even if its rational? Why do our women blame us for being to protective over them and when we don't we're also blamed for being enablers of gender based violence against them.

In short, I really miss my Abo. And my sister's wedding is fast approaching. I don't have an outfit either cause I really haven't been planning to go.

fucking cuck ass nigga how the f*ck do you not have any controll over your own family i have my own sister on ropes shes younger then me and is in her late teens but how the f*ck do you not have any influence in your own home and why the hell does your dad not know his own duaghter is getting married wallahi i feel for you it sounds like you have a broken family

my advice is to call your dad immediately and consult with him about his daughter's wedding and let him in on the details of her paying for her own wedding and the man not even paying mehr

 

[Odkac WRLD]

This guy is dishonoring and shaming you. This is your sister ffs.

Get your boys and beat tf out this nigga. Your reputation in the Somali community is at stake.

Grow a pair before this gets out of hand. Good luck sxb. Should not have allowed it to escalate to this.

 

[Abdillahi]

View attachment 130826I think I know what‘s happening here but I‘m reluctant to say it. Just one thing: pray for her, she needs it

You think the Jamaican "Muslim" did Magic on his sister? Make you wonder why the freak does not conjurer up a million U.S dollars!

 

[Octavian]

ngl he sounds like a bum get ur boys and beat him up

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

View attachment 130826I think I know what‘s happening here but I‘m reluctant to say it. Just one thing: pray for her, she needs it

There's not many things that would make a woman go that far, I'll leave it at that out of respect to our walaal

 

[Venetian]

ngl sounds like a bum

sounds like a fake story, too good to be true

 

[ReyRey]

My responsibility is staying out of her business. I honestly hope it all works out fine, I'll approve. She's almost 10-years older than me and we have a long history of being in conflict with each other since childhood. I'm exhausted fighting her on everything, I don't have the energy to fight her on her own marriage. And her friends, all of them will hate me for being that brother that ruined their friend's big day.

WHAT A CUCK! Since when did a man care about what his sister's friends thought of him? Her future is in stake fgs

 

[Caaro]

fucking cuck ass nigga how the f*ck do you not have any controll over your own family i have my own sister on ropes shes younger then me and is in her late teens but how the f*ck do you not have any influence in your own home and why the hell does your dad not know his own duaghter is getting married wallahi i feel for you it sounds like you have a broken family

my advice is to call your dad immediately and consult with him about his daughter's wedding and let him in on the details of her paying for her own wedding and the man not even paying mehr

Bro did you even read the thread? His dad is dead (AUN) and his sister is 10 years older than him. He really can't do much, especially not in the west.