On Being a Somali Single Father

[Ubax45_]

A Father's Day Reflection: On Being a Somali Single Father

The excerpts below are from an interview with a Somali father who was widowed when his oldest child was 6 years old and went on to raise 4 children on his own. This is an article based on a speech he gave at an event held by the Canadian Somali Women's Association to honour Somali fathers.

His focus on spending equal time and energy on his daughters and son was often questioned by both men and women. “They saw me always with the children, taking them somewhere. Even I had women calling me and asking ‘Why are you playing ball with your daughters? Just play ball with your son and leave the daughters behind.’ I just ignored it.” He resisted pressure to remarry in order to avoid creating a difficult environment for his children.

In his talk, Arale stressed the importance of fatherhood as a commitment to prioritize the needs of one’s family before one’s self. He asked would-be fathers to seriously consider the implications of having children. “You can’t just say oh there is a pretty girl, I will go marry her and have some children. What are your intentions, how much are you going to commit?” he stated. And for Arale that commitment is as much about time as it is about money. He feels the characteristics of a good father are being “committed, caring, mindful, and empathetic of other people’s sorrows.”

Arale particularly focused his efforts on tutoring his children “I knew that it was a duty for me to educate my children, both male and female equally,” he stated. He is proud that all of his children are university educated, including one daughter who holds a Masters’ degree. One way he supported his children through university was that he went back to school himself. “I showed them that if I can do it, you can do it too,” he explained.

 

[Luna]

I respect that. Niin sharaf leh waaye masha Allah. Traditionally, Somali men are not good fathers.

 

[VixR]

You post quality threads. A heartwarming story. I'm surprised there's such a thing as a Canadian Somali Women's Association, and I'm glad his efforts are recognized, even when unironically, earlier they weren't with even pressure to act otherwise.

 

[Ubax45_]

You post quality threads. A heartwarming story. I'm surprised there's such a thing as a Canadian Somali Women's Association, and I'm glad his efforts are recognized, even when unironically, earlier they weren't with even pressure to act otherwise.

Its based in Ottawa, one of the better pockets of the Somali-Canadian community.

I respect that. Niin sharaf leh waaye masha Allah. Traditionally, Somali men are not good fathers.

I would say less-involved in household affairs...which may work back home but not here.