One Wife Clause in the Marriage Contract

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Thanks for sharing! @Devilsadvocate

 

[offensive bias]

I never understood this?
What's the purpose of this clause.
Islam allows you to divorce your husband , he cannot keep you in the marriage against your will.
You also have zero control over the man marrying another woman.

Is it all about ego?

 

[Shimbiris]

If one needs to make their husband sign this to trust them, the marriage never had legs to begin with.

 

[cunug3aad]

It may seem like a useless addendum but i've seen somali odeys bring up wanting a second marriage out of thin air. Given how marriage culture is in somalia it seems more important for a somali woman who wanna be monogamous than for other ethnicities women

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

It may seem like a useless addendum but i've seen somali odeys bring up wanting a second marriage out of thin air. Given how marriage culture is in somalia it seems more important for a somali woman who wanna be monogamous than for other ethnicities women

This is precisely the issue. Somali women are being scammed and even robbed at times of their finances for their husband to marry another woman behind her back. When she could have used that money for her children and retirement. Moreover, she could have been happily married to an honest, monogramous man, and not a polygamous one.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

If one needs to make their husband sign this to trust them, the marriage never had legs to begin with.

If a man hesitates to prove he is monogamous, the marriage never had legs to begin with.
It's not like the clause will prevent him from divorcing his first wife and marrying another woman. it just means the first wife will be granted a divorce. So, why can't a polygamous man divorce her and go marry a few WILLING women?

Sounds to me, that polygamous men get a thrill out of deceiving and forcing women into these situations, instead of finding volunteers.

 

[Shimbiris]

If a man hesitates to prove he is monogamous, the marriage never had legs to begin with.
It's not like the clause will prevent him from divorcing his first wife and marrying another woman. it just means the first wife will be granted a divorce. So, why can't a polygamous man divorce her and go marry a few WILLING women?

Sounds to me, that polygamous men get a thrill out of deceiving and forcing women into these situations, instead of finding volunteers.

Barking up the wrong tree, walaashay. Have zero interest in being polygamous. Couldn't pay me to be, quite frankly. One woman kinda chap. But again, my point is that the marriage didn't have legs to begin with in that a woman ought not be marrying a man who's character she's so unsure of that she'd make him sign this sort of contract. Should know each other well enough to know he'd never do such a thing if you're against it.

 

[The truth seeker]

There is a big difference between a western born and bred farah and a fob from Somalia who is encouraged to be polygamous by his uncles and friends the minute he hits 37

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Barking up the wrong tree, walaashay. Have zero interest in being polygamous. Couldn't pay me to be, quite frankly. One woman kinda chap. But again, my point is that the marriage didn't have legs to begin with in that a woman ought not be marrying a man who's character she's so unsure of that she'd make him sign this sort of contract. Should know each other well enough to know he'd never do such a thing if you're against it.

Not directed at you! I agree that women should not marry men they are suspicious about. However, plenty of men switched up on women and that's why some women have the stomach to have clauses to protect themselves if that actually happens. The way I see it, no man would be offended by this, unless he was planning on doing it. Or, is arrogant and thinks he can never be questioned.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

There is a big difference between a western born and bred farah and a fob from Somalia who is encouraged to be polygamous by his uncles and friends the minute he hits 37

We think so, but there are men who are Western born and bred, who cheat and have secret wives. It doesn't matter where people are born, deception is not geographical.

 

[Shimbiris]

Not directed at you! I agree that women should not marry men they are suspicious about. However, plenty of men switched up on women and that's why some women have the stomach to have clauses to protect themselves if that actually happens. The way I see it, no man would be offended by this, unless he was planning on doing it. Or, is arrogant and thinks he can never be questioned.

Some saaxiibs can be surprising indeed. I remember a habo of mine being shocked well over 15 years (maybe 20+) into her marriage with her husband by a sudden marriage to a younger woman when he went back to Somalia for a little while. She was absolutely in the dumps for a long time after that while my hooyo comforted her. Sadly, she turned on my hooyo because my hooyo, while supportive of my habo's overall plight, was related to the younger woman and refused to partake in badmouthing her. The drama this abti caused without warning, wallahi...

 

[The truth seeker]

We think so, but there are men who are Western born and bred, who cheat and have secret wives. It doesn't matter where people are born, deception is not geographical.

Very few Somali men born into the west will have secret wives I think your being a bit paranoid

Well off white guys cheat on work trips but it’s usually a one night stand that’s how westerners do it there not messy like Africans and Arabs

 

[The truth seeker]

Some saaxiibs can be surprising indeed. I remember a habo of mine being shocked well over 15 years (maybe 20+) into her marriage with her husband by a sudden marriage to a younger woman when he went back to Somalia for a little while. She was absolutely in the dumps for a long time after that while my hooyo comforted her. Sadly, she turned on my hooyo because my hooyo, while supportive of my habo's overall plight, was related to the younger woman and refused to partake in badmouthing her. The drama this abti caused without warning, wallahi...

My fob uncle had 3 different wives in Canada , San Diego, and Kenya don’t know how he got his money since he was a janitor last time I was in Eastleigh his 8 year old kid was just wandering around the place apparently his mom was looking for him all over the country but the dad wanted to hide the kid since him and the mom had a huge fight some messy drama

My mom told me he had “investments ”in Africa and that was how he got his money meaning he owns the IRS tens of thousands if they catch him its jail time

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Very few Somali men born into the west will have secret wives I think your being a bit paranoid

Well off white guys cheat on work trips but it’s usually a one night stand that’s how westerners do it there not messy like Africans and Arabs

The scandal with Somali men marrying Somali girls/women in Kenya secret was also done by diasporans, who were mostly raised in the West too. Not just old men or raised in Somalia.

Ultimately, cheating is not unique to any ethnicity of men or location.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

Wallahi I don't understand how someone can willfully cause themselves all these headaches.

Forget husband/wife relationships, just relationships (siblings/friends/etc) in general are headaches and need to be maintain. A marriage typically has even more obligations then a simple relationships, why would you go out your way and add an extra element of chaos in your own marriage.