''The in-laws have been asked directly and have stated that they can not help the wife with the kids in the case of divorce.'' ''The in-laws don’t want divorce but want me to be a doormat.'' ''The reactions on this thread are very telling and indicative of a mentality that pervades the Somali community.'' ''This contrasts sharply with the humanity shown to Onijah Andrew Robinson by Pakistanis.''
''You seem to be very sensitive to external scrutiny and observations.''
''A few days ago a Jewish resident of occupied Al Quds attempted to hack to death another Jewish resident, 70 year old woman.''
''The attacker claimed the other person was Christian.''
''His actions are very much a reflection of the extreme visceral hate that has been fostered in occupied Palestine among the Zionist colonialists for 3/4 of a century.''
''My wife and her families actions are likely a reflection of traditional or recent disruptions to the Somali community.''
''The civil war has made households fatherless and pushed women into dual or even triple roles of providing, nurturing, and guiding (filling in for dead fathers or absent ones).''
''It appears to me that the diaspora Somali community has been badly mangled by the aid of the western governments that “accepted” them.''
''The lack of empathy for another person’s suffering and the need to deflect shows that inherent insecurity.''
''Every society has systems in place to mediate conflicts at various levels.''
''From the responses here it seems clear that there is not a consensus that extended families mediate these disputes as a first line support.''
''Even within the Western Legal systems cooperative agreements during divorce are encouraged.''
''My in-laws have told me on multiple occasions in the event of divorce there is the “LAW” and that they will get whatever the “LAW” entitles her and then to.''
''This is ignoring overtures in which I would commit to more than what would be reasonably awarded.''
''What I was hoping for was reassurance that Somalis go to elders mediate conflict at any stage and that people don’t generally demand reconciliation through submission or threaten to involve external authorities that will damage the welfare of the kids.''
''This is the kinda of mentality that breeds toxicity.''
''Mental health issues are abound throughout the world but Somalis are very fearful of acknowledging them.''
''The biggest cause of divorce in Muslim communities is untreated mental health issues.''
''Somali culture is exceptionally prideful, hence the dozens of fiefdoms that exist within Somalia with limited to no external backing.''
''Afghanistan and Yemen are other countries with extreme tribalism that leads to exceptionally prideful cultures.''
''My post here was because the in-laws seem to support my wife’s actions against me or at least do not condemn it.''
''Somalis are Muslims and observe guardianship.''
''Disputes that are going to lead to divorce generally involve outside family members to mediate, whether it is other Muslim communities or non-Muslim western communities.''
''The mindset that the husband is responsible for the anger of his wife and that no mediation can take place simply enables abusive and manipulative behavior.''
''I should add that my wife has been calling me dozens of times a day alternating between reconciliation and threatening my complete professional destruction.''
''How typical is this behavior and even though this relationship was not started the halal way it has been in place for more than a decade and produce three children.''
''Why won’t family members step in for the good of the children.''
''I apologize if my response came off as resentment to all Somalis.''
''I believe the household is a microcosm for society.''
''Harmonious homes build harmonious communities.''
''My experience has been one of complete submission.''
''Recently my wife demanded that I leave the marital home and then prevented me from doing so.''
''The details are purposely kept scant to avoid any unnecessary scrutiny.''
''The main Crux of the issue is that my wife openly denigrates me and says the hates me but yet refuses to allow me to proceed with divorce without threatening legal action against me that is exaggerated or outright fabrications while her actions themselves would garner greater scrutiny.''
''It isn’t hard to empathize with someone who is held hostage to an emotionally manipulative situation.''
''My perusal of Somali message boards has led me to believe my experience is far from unique.''
I’m tryna be civil here but come tf on be serious? This is no secret.…
I would rather commit suicide than be in the type of marriages some of these habaryars are in and worst of all
