It seems like you are 'desperate' for god to exist and be true and god isn't desperate to prove himself to anyone, if he exists great, if he doesn't we all go into deep sleep, why worry or search about such things that is beyond our control, when we can focus on what is within our grasps, the world we live in using the scientific method of inquiry.
I don't want to see u become like @Al Kafi @Omar del Sur @Cilmi-doon who spend a life-time chasing something that doesn't want to be found nor can be found ever when they could've spent their time learning the sciences and creating products, medications, technologies, and progress for they're nation.
Religion wants to distract millions of muslims from succeeding in the world and keep you locked into a topic that has no 'proof' in the end except 'belief or disbelief' yet u focus way to much time on such dead end topics.
Walaal that statement is false, if you can believe that the entire universe came into existence by itself is beyond ridiculous. The scientific details that keep the universe healthy are way to fine tuned to be an individual organism.
What do you think the prophet's where for.
To pass gods message to the people. Where you think the miracles where for. To convince the people.
There are way more reasons to believe in god than not to just saying.
If you don't want to believe fine, however don't try to convince others that the almighty doesn't exist. It is just wrong to describe the entity that gave you life and part of itself as your soul in this manner.