Short-term Marriage in Somalia: Ethical question about marriage, sex, zina, and savagery

[Assata]

That fact that you're trying to make your friend and this woman seem as if they're on equal footing is laughable.

I agree that he is morally corrupt. But we are trying to see what is fair here. If the girl is trying to deceive him, then is it okay for him to deceive her? Of course, she could just be trying to get herself pregnant, so that she can use the kid to extract funds from him. So the risk is present for both players. She risks her virginity and being seen as 'used goods' and he risks being bound in the marriage forever if the condom breaks.

First of all let's not kid ourselves here Somalia is still a 3rd world country there are very little options for a woman. So of course she'll do whatever she can to pull herself out of poverty. The risks are not even that great for your friend it's 2017 contraceptives exist. But once you take a woman's virginity you can't undo that. She'll will be seen as "used goods" by every member of society including her family.

But from a Islamic perspective, is short-term marriage to avoid committing zina okay? If it is, then shouldn't our moral compass be aligned with the religion rather than away from it.

In your view, would you rather him commit zina with her, or get married to her?.

He is a man that lives in the U.K. if he commited 'zina' all he has to do is repent a few times and then his sins are forgiven. Even if people found out nobody would judge him to harshly he's a man they'll say.
But for the woman it's so much harder even though she was married she's the one all the blame falls on and she'll be regarded as less than for faults that aren't her own.
They are not on equal footing you're friend is a wealthy educated westerner while this woman is not he'll get everything out of this marriage. He gets a few weeks of pleasure and just discards her while her life is probably ruined forever.

 

[Madara x]

This is the flaw in marriage and worth nothing once Sex is achieved divorce is applied, what was the point of getting married in the first place ? All that money wasted the time, the effort both families in utter tatters. Nothing is achieved but a good old rump in the sheets. Marriage is a joke

I agree with you marriage is a joke.

Many guys i know who got married to avoid zina divorced their wife after the honeymoon.

So what alternative do we have as muslims, should we just commit zina to delay the degradation of the institution of marriage?

Or should we encourage people to marry to avoid zina, as is done now, knowing that this will cause the divorce rate to skyrocket?

 

[SomaliWadaniSoldier]

I will never believe qalanjo or xalimo that wants my dick in Somalia.never

 

[Madara x]

They...absolutely are comparable lmao. One situation is just harder to empathize with because it's lust driven and from a sheltered and privileged perspective. But at the end of the day they both don't value each other and have entirely selfish motivations for marriage. And both could potentially screw over an innocent individual with their respective mindsets.

It seems that you are saying that is fair game.

Stance noted.

 

[Madara x]

Why don't you just f*ck outside of marriage in the West? I mean, your friend.

I don't know about my friend's sexual activities in the west.

This is a hypothetical situation that we are discussing here.
It focuses specifically on what will happen when he returns to Somalia; and how he should conduct himself there with his status and wealth.
It's a matter of power, privilege, and ethics.

 

[Daanyeer]

Nothing wrong with it. If the brother can afford it he should marry the one in Somalia and find a second in the west. Why divorce her, it's not going cost much to send her money.

 

[Madara x]

It's zina, several people have told you this. But if you want to perform a sham wedding to appease family and/or trick the girl into believing it's legit than just be real.

It's a very blurry line.

Some people have already said that marriage [regardless of intention] = no zina situation.

 

[Madara x]

Interesting.

Are you on the phone to this "friend" because the replies seem to be very fast.

I'm sharing thoughts that i remember from my own conversations with him.:siilaanyolaugh:

 

[Madara x]

I feel sorry for men why don't you just have sex ? Come on many folk do this in private, I don't think a somali guy obtained his virginity when getting married. Impossible ! Somali guys are baboons obsessed with it but like alcohol they can't handle it.

LOL you must've seen some drunk niggas. Because that statement about alcohol is right on target.

 

[Prince of Lasanod]

It's a very blurry line.

Some people have already said that marriage [regardless of intention] = no zina situation.

It's absolutely not a blurry line, I've literally just posted ahadeeth where Rasululah (SAW) prohibited temporary marriage. It seems your "friend" doesn't seem to care about what the religion says, and simply wants to have sex with women in a third world country because he is incompetent and a loser.

 

[Hassan Garguute Buldanana]

I'm sharing thoughts that i remember from my own conversations with him.:siilaanyolaugh:

my friend kulaha, stay away from these poor girls.

 

[John Michael]

It's a very blurry line.

Some people have already said that marriage [regardless of intention] = no zina situation.

It's better to do research yourself. Also have a firmer understanding of what marriage represents and means (i.e.:creating a stable family and future) and your friend's future 'marriage' is more like a hookup and less like a marriage with all the responsibilities involved.

 

[GeKo]

Some scholars consider marrying with the intention to divorce is an invalid marriage(mutah) ie. zina . Other scholars say that the marriage is valid but its haram due to the deceit and betrayal involved. Mut'ah(temporary marriage) is what some shias do, trying to find loopholes in the religion to have fun but its an obvious haram.

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https://islamqa.info/en/111841

Looking at it from logical perspective: Ask your friend how he'd like it if someone did that to his sister/mother/daugther. Morally you can't cut ties with his responsibility. Only thinking of women as sex objects isn't a good mindset either.

 

[dhegdheer]

They...absolutely are comparable lmao. One situation is just harder to empathize with because it's lust driven and from a sheltered and privileged perspective. But at the end of the day they both don't value each other and have entirely selfish motivations for marriage. And both could potentially screw over an innocent individual with their respective mindsets.

No it's not are u real?

Also since when was marriage some kind of self less act lmaooo

lol the pregnancy situation is serious. He said that he would never let it happen.

But if it did, he would take care of the girl and the kid.

Yeah, it might all seem like fun and games to him right now but things can turn serious very quickly

Is he knowledgeable about contraception? bear in mind these things are not easily available in somalia. Ask him how he's gonna prevent pregnancy if he says the pull out method then I send my condolences to his future spawn

 

[Radical]

After a few weeks of bashal with her I'd fake my death and get out of the country immediately, she'll still feel a bit grieved but it's better than being scammed plus she won't hate you for the rest of her life. Problem solved

 

[Hemaal]

Be honest with yourself you weirdo! It's you

 

[Madara x]

Marrying someone for sex is fine as long as you don't intend to divorce her like you said and you also give them their due rights.

my nigga, did you just say that marrying someone for sex [alone] is fine?

Intentions are internal valuations that are always changing, and rights are usually not enforced in Somali marriages, because there is no external party to deter deceivers and punish transgressors.

So, we have a exchange. Money . . .ops i mean marriage, for sex? lol fml

 

[John Michael]

It's absolutely not a blurry line, I've literally just posted ahadeeth where Rasululah (SAW) prohibited temporary marriage. It seems your "friend" doesn't seem to care about the religion, and simply wants to have sex with women in a third world country because he is incompetent and a loser.

This! Even the majority of shias despise temporary marriages.

 

[Daanyeer]

Don't listen to the internet sheikhs. Nothing haram about temporary marriages, most marriages are temporary nowadays anyways. Islam allows divorce.

 

[Madara x]

About the consenting adults.

They are not on the same page. The poor girl is expecting to make it overseas. It makes it even worse morally. He is taking advantage of her.

I hope he gets rejected regularly.

But she is expecting to make it overseas, because she is actively seducing him to ensure her passage to the west.

She her hopes are based on her deceptive activities. Which make them morally reprehensible.

She is trying to take advantage of him, so is it okay for him to take advantage of her? That is the question