Somali culture: Being very nice and kind=Miskeen/doqon and or weak

[Angelina]

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that in our community in particular, being nice, polite combined with introversion is a recipe for people to undermine you, think you’re ‘miskeen’ and basically take you for a push over. You have to actively be prepared to put people in their place nor can you be passive or quiet without one person thinking you’re weak.

I’m not talking about this in relations to me since I’m opinionated in real life as well and would drag someone, but some of my sisters and a friend of mind fit into the mould of ‘miskeen’ and it’s because they’re not confrontational, are sweet, very nice and polite and people assume they’re weak or a little dim/innocent.

Personally, I think it’s rather dark and messed up for you to take innocence and niceness as some sort of negative trait in which you’ll assume they’re a push over. It’s like you can’t relax with a lot of Somalis who think being blunt, out spoken ect is better.

 

[Idilinaa]

Miskeen doesn't mean kind or nice though. It means being poor, helpless and needy?

 

[Angelina]

Miskeen doesn't mean kind or nice though. It means being poor, helpless and needy?

There are plural meanings and Somalis use it to mean a very harmless and too nice person.

 

[World]

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that in our community in particular, being nice, polite combined with introversion is a recipe for people to undermine you, think you’re ‘miskeen’ and basically take you for a push over. You have to actively be prepared to put people in their place nor can you be passive or quiet without one person thinking you’re weak.

I’m not talking about this in relations to me since I’m opinionated in real life as well and would drag someone, but some of my sisters and a friend of mind fit into the mould of ‘miskeen’ and it’s because they’re not confrontational, are sweet, very nice and polite and people assume they’re weak or a little dim/innocent.

Personally, I think it’s rather dark and messed up for you to take innocence and niceness as some sort of negative trait in which you’ll assume they’re a push over. It’s like you can’t relax with a lot of Somalis who think being blunt, out spoken ect is better.

Can you give an example?

 

[Angelina]

Can you give an example?

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[Farsi]

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Maybe in africa but not the west

 

[Chaseyourdreamzz]

If somebody calls you miskeen there disrespecting you basically

 

[Moon-]

Maybe in africa but not the west

A lot of ppl here are also like that

 

[World]

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Never seen that before, maybe back home because of their condition.

 

[wheel]

I used to think someone being called "waa iska miskeen" was actually a good neutral or positive view of them, but its also often used in a negative manner especially amongst non family members/strangers.

 

[Hilmaam]

Same thing when people say you’re too nice. It can mean you are pushover. It’s backhanded compliments

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

By this measurement, these kind of people would call the prophet Muhammad SAW the same thing, because of how he behaved around people and all living beings. They are simply not good people. Do good, be good, but of course, have boundaries and don't allow people to trample on you.

Also, never underestimate the quiet, unassuming person, that's the person that will beat you up, if you try it. Not the loud mouth.