Being gay and Somali. Should I lose my family to pursue my happiness? self.gaybros
Submitted 1 year ago * by Universe01
I have been holding a painful secret from my family since kindergarten— when I noticed that I was attracted to boys. I felt like an utter freak. As a way to pacify my growing worries that I will always be gay, I told myself that this is only phase I’m going to eventually grow out of.
Now I'm 18 and gearing up to attend college this upcoming fall. I've finally come to terms with my sexuality, despite the fact that it was a long and emotionally exhausting process.
As I'm transitioning into adulthood, the expectations and pressure from my family becomes even more heavyweight. I need to graduate college, secure a satisfying job, find a Muslim girl to marry and keep close contact with the family. I don't share the last two ambitions. I want to marry the guy I love— which will inevitably lead me to sever ties with my family and even leave the Somali populated area of Minnesota for safety concerns. Most Somalis view homosexuality as repugnant, devious and even deserving of death. Therefore, there are no compromises when it comes to the question of family vs me being myself. It's strictly one or the other.
It's a really, really scary thought, even though I have another four years to think it all through. I adore my family. I want the absolute best for them. If anything dire happened to me today, they will immediately flock to my support within a matter of seconds. This is what truly makes my decision hard. I'm I going to have to give up the unconditional support of my family to live my life truthfully and happily, leaving them devastated? Or will I have to succumb to their dictates and continue living a lie? I'm going to lose a great deal with whatever choice I end up making. So the ultimate question is; will the gains outweigh every loss? I'm not sure If I have an answer.
Submitted 1 year ago * by Universe01
I have been holding a painful secret from my family since kindergarten— when I noticed that I was attracted to boys. I felt like an utter freak. As a way to pacify my growing worries that I will always be gay, I told myself that this is only phase I’m going to eventually grow out of.
Now I'm 18 and gearing up to attend college this upcoming fall. I've finally come to terms with my sexuality, despite the fact that it was a long and emotionally exhausting process.
As I'm transitioning into adulthood, the expectations and pressure from my family becomes even more heavyweight. I need to graduate college, secure a satisfying job, find a Muslim girl to marry and keep close contact with the family. I don't share the last two ambitions. I want to marry the guy I love— which will inevitably lead me to sever ties with my family and even leave the Somali populated area of Minnesota for safety concerns. Most Somalis view homosexuality as repugnant, devious and even deserving of death. Therefore, there are no compromises when it comes to the question of family vs me being myself. It's strictly one or the other.
It's a really, really scary thought, even though I have another four years to think it all through. I adore my family. I want the absolute best for them. If anything dire happened to me today, they will immediately flock to my support within a matter of seconds. This is what truly makes my decision hard. I'm I going to have to give up the unconditional support of my family to live my life truthfully and happily, leaving them devastated? Or will I have to succumb to their dictates and continue living a lie? I'm going to lose a great deal with whatever choice I end up making. So the ultimate question is; will the gains outweigh every loss? I'm not sure If I have an answer.
this is about treating people with decency and basic human rights. Intentionally missing salat is a bigger sin yet I don't see people up in arms over it 
why so selective?
