I believe he was only married for halal sex now when divorced and its off the table he doesn't see the point of keeping in touch with his ex wife and kids
Somali kid asks his dad Why it took 3 years to buy milk
- Thread starter Marshall D Abdi
- Start date
I believe he was only married for halal sex now when divorced and its off the table he doesn't see the point of keeping in touch with his ex wife and kids
Yeah Jamaicans too! Lol you know Russell Peters, the Canadian comedian made fun of them for this in one of his shows lol. Absolutely, It is madow men issue; why do you think Africa is behind all other continents in every which way? It’s not colonization, India and many other places were colonized too and yet bounced back. Even the non madow Africa is advanced compare to the rest. And you know why? Caqli lix saac! People who don’t think ahead and are unable to analyze the impact their actions will have in a broader sense never advance.You forget jamaicans to. Honnestly i think all fathers with a dark shade are worthless. If i was you i would go for a cadaan men. They rich and faithfull
Imagine being a man and having kids thousands of miles from your home because your country is shitshow and then imagine you just abandon them to sink or swim in a foreign land...and you start anew? That takes excessive stupidity, apathy and callousness to pull that off. But it’s an everyday reality in our community.
I think most is stretching it what you have seen isn’t necessarily the norm. If I talk about my norm I haven’t seen any dead beat Somali dads doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
I think it’s a culture problem because apart from being left with the kids some Somali woman are also as absent from their kids lives. There’s a general lack of responsibility and a lackadaisical attitude doesn’t mean they don’t care just a lot of ignorance.
Idk what country you live in but in the US it’s rampant issue! I wouldn’t talk about it constantly if it wasn’t. Every single Somali here knows at least 5-10 or more families with absent fathers in one shape or another. Heck I personally know at least 20 that I can point out right now. I could easily say without a second thought the number of fully present dads that I know can be counted in 2 hands. The rest are either present but not involved at all. Or divorced and threw the kids away along with their ex wife. Or literally just up and left to Somalia.
But don’t you think theres a bigger issue at hand...dead beat fathers weren’t made in a vacuum.
Why are there so many of them?
A whole nation of people can’t be dead beat dads that don’t care about their kids...that’s not mentally feasible.
I dunno why that is, its something that needs in depth study but what I do know is...it may be product of the war. I haven’t seen any evidence that Somali men were deadbeat dads in mass numbers prior to the civil war.
Facts its a byproduct of war and somali men realising they don't have to be there for their families they were given that freedom and experience when we had war. So after we finished they did what what they want instead of having there kids and women at the back of their minds
Desert Flower
VIP
War happens everywhere. Look at the civil war in Syria. You don’t see the high rate of absentee fathers and single moms in their communities like you do ours.
Maybe Somali men never wanted responsibility and the war gave them the perfect excuse out of it.
I dont think thats a good enough reason theres alot of arabs that have grown up in wartorn countries yet they are still involved in their kids lives I think alot somali guys have no clue about the responsibility that comes with being a parents cause they believe its the womans job to look after the kids
I say that whole generation needs rehabilitation, even when they are present in their kids lives they’re not always a healthy presence. The children also need counselling.
No but traditionally our communities back home women stayed at home while the man was out working to put food on the table. But when war came men were put in environments where the last focus was his family. This backfires and made men careless for the responsibility of being a farther and husband. Which in later stages caused mass migration to the west were a man could get up and leave his family behind and hold no responsibility.sryian community is much different in terms of lifestyle and community values
I think maybe a major contributing factor also is Somali society mediated through qaraabo iyo qabil. It’s was ceeb and honor based system rather than legal. After the war and displacement there’s no more system in place to hold these guys accountable or shame them....so they ran unchecked hiding behind anonymity. And being the selfish people they are...they started treating their women and children the same way they treated their country.
To be fair i think the new generation of somali men dont have this issue. All the somali men born and raised in the west that i know are in their kids life. Even after getting divorced. So its a old somali men problem
True but they’re all young still. The oldest west born Somalis are now in their early 30s. Most got married recently. So we’ll see if the trend continues in the next 10-20 yrs. what’s worrisome is a lot of the younger men are idolizing their fathers and uncles and older brothers.
The Camels of Cal madow
Porcupine and proud
My hooyo shown me another video where he was like we are changing the locks.
Desert Flower
VIP
Exactly. I wouldn’t hold my breath with the younger generation. For some, they’re doing the best they can. It’s as if they need someone to catch them up to speed with life (because they never had a male figure growing up). But, if this forum is a reflection of the average Somali male, then I’m worried. Like you said, many idiolze their fathers and in fact, blame their moms (can you believe it? The woman who had to be both mom and dad and did everything, including staying behind to raise them. They blame her!)
In short, I’m not too confident with the younger generation. But I’ll wait and see.
Netflix
VIP
@Desert Flower I think your mistaking being tight-lipped with being disrespect. Children are respectful to absent fathers because they don’t trust them enough to air out their real feelings. In a sense absent fathers have become distant relatives you respect but have no emotional bond with. Whereas with single mothers children will be confident enough to air out their feelings even if they are considered rude.
