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You're not Somali. what Somali person doesn't even know how to spell somali, you spelled it "somalies". and no its not common at all in the somali community because we're Muslims and sexual intercourse is forbidden. just because you have it doesn't mean we all do.

Im not somali because I spell "somalies"?
Because we are muslims we become immune to STD?
Because its haram to have sex?

SubhanaAllah, I dont know how to handle this kind of arguments....:snoop:
 
people who get stds around, stop trying to normalise it

When did I normalize it? I said there is a stigma and we should adress it by allowing these "s" only to "" with themselves.

You are just ignorant and spreading more stigma. Your mentality is more dangerous than any STD.
 
Im not somali because I spell "somalies"?
Because we are muslims we become immune to STD?
Because its haram to have sex?

SubhanaAllah, I dont know how to handle this kind of arguments....:snoop:
you do realize Somalia litterly has one of the lowest std rates in the world right? of couse we wouldnt have sex because its a sin, thats what it means to be a Muslim you white
 
1. I understand that the Sheikh may be just answering the question(and I respect that) but from our perspective, we should be imploring further.
I think it is healthy to make such speculations--both for the safety of the individual with STDs and also to prevent the fetishization of those without STDs. Should you continue on to start a site for people to connect and have actual relationships, these are real life issues that are critical to address at some point.

Okey, I see your point. Thank you for the perspective.
 
you do realize Somalia litterly has one of the lowest std rates in the world right? of couse we wouldnt have sex because its a sin, thats what it means to be a Muslim you white

You do realize Somalia is a grey zone and have lowest rates on.... almost everything?
Also, we are talking about facts. Why cannot we talk about FACTS?? There are somali with STD. Period.

Shouldnt and wouldnt is not the same word, please learn the difference. We sin regardless if we are muslims. Thats kind of the point isnt it; To sin, seek forgiveness and learn? So answer this, oh wise one, spreading the good word in this beautiful manner; Why are you denying the fact muslims sin? And what is wrong with helping muslims who want to find a suitable partner?

Why would a white bother talking to somalis about creating a platform for somalis with STD?
You are not intelligent, avoid trying to sound like it. You are not pious, avoid using religion as a argument to insult others.
 
OP are you trying to say Somali society should be more welcoming to those with STDs and marriage should be made to be less of a hindrance as such?


I don't agree with that. In the west many muslims who contract STDs etc. do so from haram relationships which they believed held no consequence. Why should marriage be any easier? Is marriage easy for women with children out of wedlock, another case where Allah brings zina out to light. I believe STDs are a test/ punishment from Allah and should be bared with patience. In the same breath, may Allah never test us with this.


As someone mentioned, Somalia has the lowest HIV rate in Africa. Most of the relatively little STD incidence originates from disgusting men who visit street women in Ethiopia and bring it back to their families. This inflicting their poor wive(s) when they return. They deserve our sympathy, those women. Not some man child or girl who believed actions don't have consequences.
 
This will be my last post.
Anybody who seek goodness and want to do good, please inbox me.


So far Ive mainly been met with negativity. People have taken my words and change them into:

  • not to normalize STD.
(I am not, actually its a fact whether or not we like it. There are enough of somalis with STD for it to be a reality )
  • its not a big deal, we have other issues to handle
(this is just lazy and selfcentered talk. The people are here, the issue is here.
And since when have we ever had a good record on handling any major issues in our community/country?)


  • Somalia has the lowest levels of HIV in the continent
White non muslims gave us statistics about somalis with STD. We would never even acknowledge the disease within our borders. Somalia is a grey zone, can we please admit that any number coming out from Somalia is invalid?! Also, its IRRELEVANT if its lower than 1 million, we are talking about facts and reality. How can we address the issue instead of trying to dismiss it as fantasy. SubhanaAllah...)
  • Somalis will never accept STD and mental illness.
(This is my feeling completely and the reason for this post to be my last)

***************************************************************************************************

OP are you trying to say Somali society should be more welcoming to those with STDs and marriage should be made to be less of a hindrance as such?

I could never expect that from the somali community lol
What Im saying is there should be a platform where the infected individuals could connect, inform each other about not spreading the STD, seeing their condition as a way of becoming more aware (IF they got it through zina. Not all cases are because of zina.) and most importantly a way for them to marry each other and find support from each other.

I don't agree with that. In the west many muslims who contract STDs etc. do so from haram relationships which they believed held no consequence. Why should marriage be any easier? Is marriage easy for women with children out of wedlock, another case where Allah brings zina out to light. I believe STDs are a test/ punishment from Allah and should be bared with patience. In the same breath, may Allah never test us with this.

Women bearing children outside of wedlock should also have chance to repent and live a good life! Frankly, this would be the case if our community would hold the ashole father accountable, instead of shaming and shunning only the women. What are you implying?? That just because certain sins are visible they deserve more punishment? This is folkish thinking and only strengthens mob-mentality.

Please just stop with the we against them mentality. Its irrelevant if they live in the west.
Its typical to paint it out as if they have gone soooo faaar from the somali culture. Now they deserve it.
Yet....you mention STD victims in Somalia? Please stop with this kind of mentality, its poison.

I am addressing aaalll somali muslims with STD, I have not labeled then worthy/unworthy of their situation.
That is not my place and it is unproductive.
The issue at hand is to find a solution and not dwell in the past.
We do not need to find obstacles when there are already plenty of them.
Their sins are between Allah and themselves.

Marriage between two infected muslims who want to do good should be made easier because:
- no human being deserved to live in loneliness and die in loneliness.
- it minimizes the risk of spreading STD
- we are doing da'wah and spreading good, instead of allowing evil and suffering to spread.

How do you think STD are spread? The individuals fel isolated, hide their illness, find someone and spread it - just because they were never given an alternative in life. How will you feel when it comes to your door step? More of a reality then?

How come muslim only use Islam to push people away? We are quick to show the path to hell before we support the path to paradise. Allah tells us to show forgiveness, make excuses for muslims and cover their sins. How are we doing it now?

This inflicting their poor wive(s) when they return. They deserve our sympathy, those women. Not some man child or girl who believed actions don't have consequences.

Sympathy by dear brother/sister is only paralyzing, and completely fake if not followed up by actions. What good does your pity do them? If we for example speak for these wives whom had cheating husbands. Are they also condemned and stigmatized? Apparently thats what somalis like to think.

I am suggesting empathy. This means actually being able to relate to another muslims suffering and help them as you would have needed itself. How can we not understand this SubhanaAllah....

IT SADDENS / HURTS / INFURIATES me that we only seem to bring up Islam to make our hearts harder and more hateful,
when in fact it was send down to us as a reminder to forgive and show the right path.
Are we not told the most beautiful thing is a human sinning, asking forgiveness AND doing good from there on??

Allah is most forgiving and compassionate. Why cant we be the same toward ourselves??
If every muslim was forever condemn for their sins we would never had islam to begin with. What do you think about the sahaba,
with some of them have made sins greater than STD, such as killing, raping, hurting the prophet, selling and oppressing humans.
Why dont we like to remember them like this? Because we know that they stopped doing bad and started doing goood. Thats why Allah love them.

Im not saying this only because my family and friends are infected. I am sying this because it discusts me when muslim use Islam to only condemn and belittle people. Islam is greater than our petty opinions.
Its ignorant to believe a person is simply a product of their actions.
Allah gave intentions a higher value so as to remind us to not judge and belittle others.

He forgives until your last breath,
and we just want our brothers and sisters to feel no love and warmth till they die.
Its disgusting and nothing less than jahil.

Humans just dont care until it has happened to themselves or someone they care about.

I believe STDs are a test/ punishment from Allah and should be bared with patience.

I believe most of them are already considering this. Perhaps they are already forgiven and raising in eeman.
In the same breath, I wonder how we at the moment are handling our own test ......
 
Most notable in this thread is the green flow due to users who opted to not check-mark their sex on the profile. I must tell you, I am sold now, I like the green.

Waxoga isuga aan soo beddelee buluugga.
 

John Michael

Free my girl Jodi!
VIP
@WaddaJeedi so what you're saying is you wanna make a dating up for Muslims with STDs?

I think that's a good idea but I'm not sure how profitable it will be. Dating apps seem like a saturated market.
 
@WaddaJeedi so what you're saying is you wanna make a dating up for Muslims with STDs?

I think that's a good idea but I'm not sure how profitable it will be. Dating apps seem like a saturated market.

I honestly dont know. I created this thread because I need advice.
Do you have any ideas what I should do to make this idea a reality? :hmm:

( I know I said it was my last post. I just forgot to ask for help before getting angry and giving up the thread lol )
 

Bahal

ʜᴀᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ
VIP
Asc brothers and sisters <3

Im new to this forum and got registered to find some advice regarding STD:s and marriage/relationships. We all know a story or a person who's been afflicted, but I want to know how does the community deal with it? Stigmatizing is not a solution, on the contrary it makes the issue more difficult. Somalies hide their sickness and spread it. Since we are muslims I took a quick look at some fatwas (from Islamqa.com). Islamically they are allowed to marry a person who either is having the same STD or a healthy person who is fully aware and willing to marry them. I have quoted the overall answer/ point of view, se ending.

Now, I know you somalies at the moment must have your inner fire alarm yelling. But lets not think we are above this issue because even if we are muslims we are part of the human world. This happens all the time, especially for us living in the west. And yes, muslims with STD:s have perhaps lived a life of sin. But who hasent? Allah is all forgiving and perhaps their sickness was their wake up call. Perhaps some are victims of a cheating spouse. It is not our job to judge them, its our job to stop the fitnah and create a safe way for these individuals (and ourselves) to find a spouse.

Personally, I dont have any. But my brother does have one. And we are tired of bearing this secret och allowing it to ruin his future. He used to live a destructive life and now he is practising. Besides my sibling, I have a auntie who got HIV because of her cheating husband. Again, its not our place to judge and stigmatize anybody!

There are in fact some dating sites for muslims with STD:s, which are mostly run by arabs/pakistanis/reverts and others groups who have a community thats well integrated in the western societies. Somalies are quite invisible on these sites. How would Somalispot feel about having this thread open for our distressed brothers and sisters? Or perhaps someone out there want to help me create a site for somalies with STD? This is 2017, lets accept and focus on solutions.

---------------------------------------------------- fatwa from islamQA -------------------------------------------------------

Healthy girl wants to marry man with herpes (https://islamqa.info/en/46517)

" With regard to the one who is sick, Muslim (2221) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The owner of sick camels should not bring them to the healthy ones” – lest the disease be transmitted to the healthy ones."

Man with AIDS wants to marry (https://islamqa.info/en/69742)

" Married life is not only about intercourse; you could marry this woman if you both agree not to have intercourse, for a man’s need for a woman, and vice versa, is not just the matter of sexual needs. There are the matters of caring for one another, protection, spending, love and helping one another to obey Allaah. The love of one party for the other, so that the latter may inherit, may the reason for marriage, such as marriage to a minor who is not able for intercourse. Such a marriage is valid according to sharee’ah, even if no intercourse takes place. Based on this, there is no reason why you should not get married and agree not to have intercourse."

Marrying a STD riddle f*ck to a fucking minor.

What the f*ck is wrong with these people?
 
Marrying a STD riddle f*ck to a fucking minor.

What the f*ck is wrong with these people?

SubhanaAllah, please read the thread. This is a missunderstanding that has already been cleared out.
Why cannot people seek out information properly....

The quote (you should read the full article before jumping to conclusions!!) was explaining that a person might get married without the sole intention of having sex. Sex in not he most important thing in a relationship, thus naming the minor. It was an example of how marrying someone without having sex is still considered valid, because of other reasons for marriage such as security, spending etc bla bla

Please, read the thread and stop being lazy people.
 

Bahal

ʜᴀᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ
VIP
SubhanaAllah, please read the thread. This is a missunderstanding that has already been cleared out.
Why cannot people seek out information properly....

I know what you're trying to say.

I'm talking about the so called sheikh proposing marrying off children

:faysalwtf:
 

John Michael

Free my girl Jodi!
VIP
Marrying a STD riddle f*ck to a fucking minor.

What the f*ck is wrong with these people?

I truly believe there is no common sense with these salafi sheikhs.
I honestly dont know. I created this thread because I need advice.
Do you have any ideas what I should do to make this idea a reality? :hmm:

( I know I said it was my last post. I just forgot to ask for help before getting angry and giving up the thread lol )

:yacadiim:

Tbh I don't think an app is a good idea. There's way too much stigma and being a minority within a minority I couldn't see too many people using it.


I think with STDs it's better just go get to know someone and within the last stages tell them of your situation and accept that they might reject you. I say the last stages so that you can make sure you can trust the person.

Everyone has baggage just take the risk and don't be so hard on yourself (hypothetical person with the STD). Depending on the STD I would not necessarily reject someone who informed me beforehand that I wanted to marry.


Just my 2cents.
 
I think with STDs it's better just go get to know someone and within the last stages tell them of your situation and accept that they might reject you. I say the last stages so that you can make sure you can trust the person.

Thank you for your suggestion.

And when you get rejected (98% of the time you will get rejected), how sure will you be about going to the next somali and telling your secret? Will the somalis be quiet about this secret? SubhanaAllah.

Please give us a realistic suggestion. Idealism is not easily implemented in the somali world.
 

John Michael

Free my girl Jodi!
VIP
Thank you for your suggestion.

And when you get rejected (98% of the time you will get rejected), how sure will you be about going to the next somali and telling your secret? Will the somalis be quiet about this secret? SubhanaAllah.

Please give us a realistic suggestion. Idealism is not easily implemented in the somali world.

The reality is (you probably won't believe me) you won't be rejected as much as you think you would. Also I really really suggest not revealing your status until after you get into a close (obviously non sexual) relationship that's heading towards marriage.

There's no reason for someone to reveal that kinda personal matter in that situation. They either accept it and marry you or move on and forget about you.

Your life isn't over just because you have an STD.


Also I wouldn't suggest fobs because I've notice fob girls love to date around and 'play' guys. Just get a girl who's serious about marriage who's compatible with you. It'll hurt if she rejects you but it'll be worse if you never try.

Good luck
 
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