Somalithopia: The United States of East Africa

[Menelik III]

Fake story, and Ethiopia will never allow Somalia to join it. Where does this concept that we want to annex a bunch of useless, lazy, and good for nothings come from? Plus most Ethiopians and Ethiopia wouldn't ever share power with anyone. We can manager your country for a huge fee, but that's about it.

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

Fake story, and Ethiopia will never allow Somalia to join it. Where does this concept that we want to annex a bunch of useless, lazy, and good for nothings come from? Plus most Ethiopians and Ethiopia wouldn't ever share power with anyone. We can manager your country for a huge fee, but that's about it.

So any Somali stallion who smashes Ethio booty is fake? What an insecure mofo. Get used to it man. We'll deflower your beauties.

Is it because I called the Union Somalithopia? You're mad because Somali comes first? Typical savage mentality. Look, it doesn't matter what its called. Christen it Ethiorapers if you want. So long as you get access to the sea and we get to import the finest Amharic beer to ever kiss human lips, what's the big deal?

 

[Descendent-Of-Fiqi]

Ethiopia = Zootopia

 

[Menelik III]

So any Somali stallion who smashes Ethio booty is fake? What an insecure mofo. Get used to it man. We'll deflower your beauties.

Is it because I called the Union Somalithopia? You're mad because Somali comes first? Typical savage mentality. Look, it doesn't matter what its called. Christen it Ethiorapers if you want. So long as you get access to the sea and we get to import the finest Amharic beer to ever kiss human lips, what's the big deal?

Keep dreaming. Why are you guys fixated on us conquering you, is it some type of fetish? We do get joy out of bombing Somalia but that's as far as it goes. Sea access? We already have that, and have recently bought land in Sudan to develop a port. Only country we would annex is Eritrea. Shouldn't you be more worried about your ladies doing the jigjig for amisom?

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

Keep dreaming. Why are you guys fixated on us conquering you, is it some type of fetish? We do get joy out of bombing Somalia but that's as far as it goes. Sea access? We already have that, and have recently bought land in Sudan to develop a port. Only country we would annex is Eritrea. Shouldn't you be more worried about your ladies doing the jigjig for amisom?

We raped you in 1977. Siyad would have marched on Addis Ababa if it weren't for those pesky Cubans and Russians. But I'm not here to stoke up nationalistic fervor. That's for dolts. I come to offer an olive branch to my Xabashi cousins.

Amisom? Hey, I'm a libertarian. If the white man doesn't mind Bidaar Wanagsan doing a muff dive on his sisters, and if Oromo sweeties shake their breasts for me in the nightclub, how can I object if Somali women wanna give head to negrotarians?

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

Ethiopia = Zootopia

Sure, but evolution means they can become human with the right amount of nurture. That's why a merger would help to expedite things.

 

[Menelik III]

We raped you in 1977. Siyad would have marched on Addis Ababa if it weren't for those pesky Cubans and Russians. But I'm not here to stoke up nationalistic fervor. That's for dolts. I come to offer an olive branch to my Xabashi cousins.

Amisom? Hey, I'm a libertarian. If the white man doesn't mind Bidaar Wanagsan doing a muff dive on his sisters, and if Oromo sweeties shake their breasts for me in the nightclub, how can I object if Somali women wanna give head to negrotarians?

We both know somalia would have been destroyed either way. You couldn't even take ogaden fully against a splintered and civil war ravaged Ethiopia...plus who do you think funded your weapons and supplies? If the Russians hadn't stopped mengistu from invading Somalia, you my friend might have been Ethiopian, as you desire. Now all of this is but a dream, we must face reality and that's Amisom laying in your family's bed.

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

We both know somalia would have been destroyed either way. You couldn't even take ogaden fully against a splintered and civil war ravaged Ethiopia...plus who do you think funded your weapons and supplies? If the Russians hadn't stopped mengistu from invading Somalia, you my friend might have been Ethiopian, as you desire. Now all of this is but a dream, we must face reality and that's Amisom laying in your family's bed.

We all get our weapons from abroad. That's not the issue. It's not like African bushmen are gonna manufacture their own fighter bombers. The question is Cuban troops saving your bacon when your forces were scattered by our blitzkrieg.

Splintered? Your population was twenty times the size of ours and we still took your women as concubines. You could not even defeat tiny Eritrea with all your advantages.

Look, either we merge peacefully and toast our friendship over beer and ribs like only African brothers can, or a revived Somalia will retake not just Ogaden, but all your family's ancestral lands. I don't mind being a Somalithopian. Join the peace initiative man.

 

[Xooshdheere]

stop chewing khat

We all get our weapons from abroad. That's not the issue. It's not like African bushmen are gonna manufacture their own fighter bombers. The question is Cuban troops saving your bacon when your forces were scattered by our blitzkrieg.

Splintered? Your population was twenty times the size of ours and we still took your women as concubines. You could not even defeat tiny Eritrea with all your advantages.

Look, either we merge peacefully and toast our friendship over beer and ribs like only African brothers can, or a revived Somalia will retake not just Ogaden, but all your family's ancestral lands. I don't mind being a Somalithopian. Join the peace initiative man.

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

stop chewing khat

Khat has been proven to have medicinal and spiritual properties. Only a selfhating Somali would badmouth it.

 

[Menelik III]

We all get our weapons from abroad. That's not the issue. It's not like African bushmen are gonna manufacture their own fighter bombers. The question is Cuban troops saving your bacon when your forces were scattered by our blitzkrieg.

Splintered? Your population was twenty times the size of ours and we still took your women as concubines. You could not even defeat tiny Eritrea with all your advantages.

Look, either we merge peacefully and toast our friendship over beer and ribs like only African brothers can, or a revived Somalia will retake not just Ogaden, but all your family's ancestral lands. I don't mind being a Somalithopian. Join the peace initiative man.

The khat is really doing wonders to your brain. Listen here, you couldn't even fully take the Somali region, whith your entire army and the people of the area supporting you against a farming militia. We went on to destroy your entire army which destroyed your country and has led to the the deaths of millions of Somalis. You have to be very delusional to believe you had any victory. Concubines? Ethiopians didn't live in the Somali region, but you know who did? Somalis, the retribution they recieved for their betrayal is still spoken about.

If you want us to annex you so bad, then you must get on your knees and kiss the knee of the Abune (pope) of Ethiopia as Illey has before you. This is the only way we forgive. We will then annex central to northern Somalia while the south will be left independent in order to be a lesson for the rest of you, about what life would be like without us.

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

The khat is really doing wonders to your brain. Listen here, you couldn't even fully take the Somali region, whith your entire army and the people of the area supporting you against a farming militia. We went on to destroy your entire army which destroyed your country and has led to the the deaths of millions of Somalis. You have to be very delusional to believe you had any victory. Concubines? Ethiopians didn't live in the Somali region, but you know who did? Somalis, the retribution they recieved for their betrayal is still spoken about.

If you want us to annex you so bad, then you must get on your knees and kiss the knee of the Abune (pope) of Ethiopia as Illey has before you. This is the only way we forgive. We will then annex central to northern Somalia while the south will be left independent in order to be a lesson for the rest of you, about what life would be like without us.

I admire the cowboy talk. I really do. Whatever gets you through the night buddy.

Just answer me this: why does your son look like me if I never slept with your charcoal skinned wife?

 

[Menelik III]

I admire the cowboy talk. I really do. Whatever gets you through the night buddy.

Just answer me this: why does your son look like me if I never slept with your charcoal skinned wife?

I'm young, but you probably look like a west African compared to me. Are you by chance related to Gen. Goodluck?

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

I'm young, but you probably look like a west African compared to me. Are you by chance related to Gen. Goodluck?

My skin tone is darker than his and my hairline is in even greater retreat from my forehead than this gentleman. Only the whites of my eyes are visible in the dark. It's fairly disturbing, but I still get laid by dirty Ethio s.

 

[Menelik III]

My skin tone is darker than his and my hairline is in even greater retreat from my forehead than this gentleman. Only the whites of my eyes are visible in the dark. It's fairly disturbing, but I still get laid by dirty Ethio s.

In your dreams, im done indulging in the intricacies of your fantasy. Stay crispy my Ethiosomali friend.

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

In your dreams, im done indulging in the intricacies of your fantasy. Stay crispy my Ethiosomali friend.

Isn't Menelik the name of the Ethio leader who was raided by the British in a punitive expedition in the 19th century for taking diplomats hostage and who then committed suicide? Well chosen mate.

 

[Menelik III]

Isn't Menelik the name of the Ethio leader who was raided by the British in a punitive expedition in the 19th century for taking diplomats hostage and who then committed suicide? Well chosen mate.

No no, that was Tewodros and he died honorably.




Menelik is the Emperor who conquered the Somali region


Quite fitting, don't you say?

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

No no, that was Tewodros and he died honorably.




Menelik is the Emperor who conquered the Somali region


Quite fitting, don't you say?

Yes, that's it. Teodros. Got sexually molested by white boys if I recall.

Let me ask you:

(1) Do you think Ethiopia will hold together as a unified country in the next twenty years given all the ethnic rumbles underway?

(2) what do you make of Berhanu Nega's rebels? Is he a good hombre or a tool of Eritrea?

(3) Do you foresee a time when Muslim-Christian relations in your country will deteriorate to the level of Nigeria?

 

[Menelik III]

Yes, that's it. Teodros. Got sexually molested by white boys if I recall.

Let me ask you:

(1) Do you think Ethiopia will hold together as a unified country in the next twenty years given all the ethnic rumbles underway?

(2) what do you make of Berhanu Nega's rebels? Is he a good hombre or a tool of Eritrea?

(3) Do you foresee a time when Muslim-Christian relations in your country will deteriorate to the level of Nigeria?

Are you still in the sky? Your first statement doesn't make sense. It's more honorable to die in battle than to surrender, but what would you know.


1. Ethiopia will last, the current government will either increases development steadfast as they are doing or relinquish some control. The government will most likely devolve power to the local administrations while keeping the top seats to themselves. This will most likely appease most people. They have already said that ethnostates will be disbanded in the future.

2. He would have been the leader of Ethiopia if the elections were upheald. My views are aligned with his.


3. I don't see that ever happening, but we must continue to ban Saudi funded mosques etc. Ethiopian Muslims are fairly nice people, and are overwhelmingly nationalistic.

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

Are you still in the sky? Your first statement doesn't make sense. It's more honorable to die in battle than to surrender, but what would you know.


1. Ethiopia will last, the current government will either increases development steadfast as they are doing or relinquish some control. The government will most likely devolve power to the local administrations while keeping the top seats to themselves. This will most likely appease most people. They have already said that ethnostates will be disbanded in the future.

2. He would have been the leader of Ethiopia if the elections were upheald. My views are aligned with his.


3. I don't see that ever happening, but we must continue to ban Saudi funded mosques etc. Ethiopian Muslims are fairly nice people, and are overwhelmingly nationalistic.

I'm glad to know you guys are keeping Saudi religious fascism out of your country. That's what Somalia failed to do and you see the trouble we're in. You don't want an Al-Shabab or Boko Haram in Addis.

So you support Berhan Nega? Doesn't that make you an enemy of the government? Afterall this guy wants to overthrow the state by violence. What makes him great in your eyes? What does he offer that the present administration does not?