They are not quite sure yet. Psychartist says it's anxiety and not primarily psychosis or schizophrenia. He has the idea my anxiety and panic attacks and relationship with the world through negative lenses triggers my schizophrenia. Where-as I saw my psychologist basically the therapist yesterday and he said if you had anxiety I could help but you seem to be prone to psychosis and had all the early symptoms of such disease since I was in my teen and it only got triggered and exploded in the past 3 years when I encountered my first psychotic break from reality.
I was psychotic when I was talking to myself in the forum bro, I don't believe you exist, I am speaking to you but I see a demon on the other side and we are playing a game of how do we keep you here in this psychotic experience and I am playing a game of how do I get out of it and go back to earth and be normal. It's the bridge between reality and lunancy where I GO. I am not completely in lunancy and I am not completely in reality either, I am on a bridge between the two dimensions and I can see both. So I can talk normally for 10 minutes but the next 10 minutes I am lost again in my thought disturbances and observing the shapeshifting creatures and jinns I am seeing.
I fear the day I am no longer on the bridge because you will get stuck in schizophrenia and be permanent basket case because you no longer see reality and if I can get swung to the other side reality through medications and therapy that's the goal really without ever seeing the other dimension of madness.
But I am definitely on the bridge between madness and reality, where-as long-term chronically ill schizophrenia people who do not recover even with medication are no longer on the bridge and have delved right into the madness and therefore you no longer exist to them and they talk to themselves, sing to themselves, harm themselves, or do whatever you do in madness. When u go to madness, it depends on your personality and how u handle it, not all people handle it the same. Some kill themselves, some don't. Some cry and scream, some pick up a knife and start killing. Your only familar with the psycho movie who kills people and think schizophrenia is that. That's only one type of reaction to schizophrenia, there many more. I don't have that type of schizophrenia even though the thoughts do come if I should homicide people or suicide because it's fuckin hard when your there wallahi, you lose hope that u will get out of it and you despair and that's dangerous territory to be on.