The importance of having a wali

[Kane]

Stay Away From This Sin ⚠️

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[Angelina]

What’s sad is that if her father was careless and didn’t get suspicious, redpillers like @Kane would blame a Muslim sister for marrying him since according to them it’s her fault for marrying him despite everyone in her family accept her wise father thinking it was a blessing.

It takes a father (a wise older man) to do background checks and do his due diligence. The biggest issue in the Somali community is that many fathers are careless and will give their daughters away just because he’s from the same qabil and or because he’s so and so’s son.

In order for many men to be on their best behavior and rise to be responsible men, they need to see that a girl has men in her family that will hold them accountable and will do background checks even going as far as seeing payslips, degrees you name it. Many men are liars and will lie to get what they want.

I know of a case of a girl that got engaged to a guy who lied about his whole profession, dad didn’t even do a background check and it only came out when the girl herself got suspicious and had to actively ask around since the man was from a completely different city. I know of many cases of men hiding other wives ect. Let’s be real, if the girl was naive and younger, the thought probably wouldn’t have occurred to her.

Somali fathers need to do better. I’ve not seen a lot that would try and get a man to bring in pay slips, ask him for health records. What’s sad is that If a Somali father was like this, young Somali men and their families would think he was mad and extreme and they would get angry since they’re so used to just marrying easily. In fact, I haven’t even seen a lot of Somali fathers properly assess the personality of the man tbh. They’re more interested in Qabil and the man’s parents rather than the actual man himself at times. They’ll go above and beyond to find out if he’s ‘Nasab’ but not to see if he has narc tendencies.

We are incredibly lacking in this department as a community.

 

[Rayaale]

What’s sad is that if her father was careless and didn’t get suspicious, redpillers like @Kane would blame a Muslim sister for marrying him since according to them it’s her fault for marrying him despite everyone in her family accept her wise father thinking it was a blessing.

It takes a father (a wise older man) to do background checks and do his due diligence. The biggest issue in the Somali community is that many fathers are careless and will give their daughters away just because he’s from the same qabil and or because he’s so and so’s son.

In order for many men to be on their best behavior and rise to be responsible men, they need to see that a girl has men in her family that will hold them accountable and will do background checks even going as far as seeing payslips, degrees you name it. Many men are liars and will lie to get what they want.

I know of a case of a girl that got engaged to a guy who lied about his whole profession, dad didn’t even do a background check and it only came out when the girl herself got suspicious and had to actively ask around since the man was from a completely different city. I know of many cases of men hiding other wives ect. Let’s be real, if the girl was naive and younger, the thought probably wouldn’t have occurred to her.

Somali fathers need to do better. I’ve not seen a lot that would try and get a man to bring in pay slips, ask him for health records. What’s sad is that If a Somali father was like this, young Somali men and their families would think he was mad and extreme and they would get angry since they’re so used to just marrying easily. In fact, I haven’t even seen a lot of Somali fathers properly assess the personality of the man tbh. They’re more interested in Qabil and the man’s parents rather than the actual man himself at times. They’ll go above and beyond to find out if he’s ‘Nasab’ but not to see if he has narc tendencies.

We are incredibly lacking in this department as a community.

You always find a way to bash Somali men

 

[Angelina]

You always find a way to bash Somali men

What I said is facts about our community. We do have an issue with Walis doing their job. If pointing this out feels like an attack then so be it. I wasn’t even seeing it as some sort of personal attack of Somali men more so just dads who are laid back and a lot of it is due to the culture and an observation I felt about how marriage outcomes in our community can be improved if we had a culture of Walis being thorough. At this point, you want me to lie or and not make a connection as to how Walis behave in our community.

Deep down you know for a fact what i said is true. When was the last time you heard about Somali abo asking for payslips and medical records? I’m sure it happens here and there but it isn’t common AT all.

So instead of taking everything personal since you’re not a Somali abo, but a young lad maybe you can take pointers as to how things can be done differently as a community.

 

[Rayaale]

What I said is facts about our community. We do have an issue with Walis doing their job. If pointing this out feels like an attack then so be it. I wasn’t even seeing it as some sort of personal attack of Somali men more so just dads who are laid back and a lot of it is due to the culture and an observation I felt about how marriage outcomes in our community can be improved if we had a culture of Walis being thorough. At this point, you want me to lie or and not make a connection as to how Walis behave in our community.

Deep down you know for a fact what i said is true. When was the last time you heard about Somali abo asking for payslips and medical records? I’m sure it happens here and there but it isn’t common AT all.

So instead of taking everything personal since you’re not a Somali abo, but a young lad maybe you can take pointers as to how things can be done differently as a community.

First of all I’m active in the Somali community in the country I live in,what you saying is just some mere lies,the Somali abos i know are all hardworking and honest people who raise their kids in a good way,most of the young Somali men are like that they all have jobs and are God fearing

 

[Angelina]

First of all I’m active in the Somali community in the country I live in,what you saying is just some mere lies,the Somali abos i know are all hardworking and honest people who raise their kids in a good way,most of the young Somali men are like that they all have jobs and are God fearing

When did I mention hard work or honesty? I’m talking about Walis asking for payslips and medical history.

This is the issue when one gets too emotional and can’t even understand the topic at hand. Show me where I said Somali fathers aren’t God fearing or hard working, show me? Unless English isn’t your first language, this is utterly embarrassing for you to be reacting this way.

I asked you a simple question, when was the last time you knew about a potential groom being asked for a payslip and medical check?

 

[Rayaale]

When did I mention hard work or honesty? I’m talking about Walis asking for payslips and medical history.

This is the issue when one gets too emotional and can’t even understand the topic at hand. Show me where I said Somali fathers aren’t God fearing or hard working, show me? Unless English isn’t your first language, this is utterly embarrassing for you to be reacting this way.

I asked you a simple question, when was the last time you knew about a potential groom being asked for a payslip and medical check?

Mental gymnastics,next you’ll say when was the last time you knew a potential groom being asked for if he can each 100 years and can go 3 months without eating food.

 

[Dooyo]

Medical reports, fertility tests, credit scores…. shouldn’t checking things like this be standard? With or without the Wali asking?

 

[Angelina]

Mental gymnastics,next you’ll say when was the last time you knew a potential groom being asked for if he can each 100 years and can go 3 months without eating food.

I asked you a simple question and you couldn’t answer. It’s a fact that asking for medical reports in the Somali community isn’t the norm and now you’re tugging at straws.

it wasn’t mental gymnastics since if you even bothered to read my post above that was literally what my original paragraph was about.

I’m sick and tired of illiterates who don’t even read but lash out. My whole original was about lack of medical reports and payslips and now you’re saying it’s mental gymnastics.