The only somali women that get married are those that date

[Amirah]

“a guy I am talking to”, just tell him u like him, most guys don’t get hints he will soon think your not interested and move on

First of all never! Why would I ever tell a guy I like him lmao are you crazy and second idk if I like him like that...he’s little too farax for my taste. They usually are smh but I’ll find one that I’m smitten with soon iA.

 

[Amirah]

Desi sure, Arabs date nowadays, the problem is Somali girls who want to do the right thing self sabotage themselves, even when they want a guy a lot are pre occupied with their "image", they display a certain front: of a nonchalant, uninterested person. Then when the guy moves on what do they do next? They desperately pounce on the next guy, she gets burned after he's put off then rinse repeat cycle.

I blame Somali parents for this, with dating being proactive is a must, look how fierce white and asian women are when it comes to locking down a partner. Or else you'll just end up attending weddings alone with the girls who have had dating experience asking you to be their bridesmaid.

Lol Somali guys never move on, even if they have you’ll never know cuz they’ll still act like they’re madly in love with you til you cut them off by ghosting or blocking.

 

[Chase]

Lol Somali guys never move on, even if they have you’ll never know cuz they’ll still act like they’re madly in love with you til you cut them off by ghosting or blocking.

Then you must've met the weird ones.

First of all never! Why would I ever tell a guy I like him lmao are you crazy and second idk if I like him like that...he’s little too farax for my taste. They usually are smh but I’ll find one that I’m smitten with soon iA.

Could you elaborate? I'm curious.

 

[KingSomali999]

Imo most couples date before they get married

excuse my language but your friends are s sweety.
Nothing good comes out of dating, unless there is always another person like the guys uncle or brother or the girls brother is there at all times, but dating like cadaans? ex:holding hands,kissing,sex,being romantic with each other,you run in the risk of doing that.
Most somalis who are married met through friends/family and involved their parents soon as possible and those are the most successful ones.

 

[cawaale]

Then you must've met the weird ones.



Could you elaborate? I'm curious.

Please elaborate on this I’m interested too @Amirah

I swear xalimos think your too farax if you don’t behave like ciyaal suuq

 

[Desert Flower]

Desi sure, Arabs date nowadays, the problem is Somali girls who want to do the right thing self sabotage themselves, even when they want a guy a lot are pre occupied with their "image", they display a certain front: of a nonchalant, uninterested person. Then when the guy moves on what do they do next? They desperately pounce on the next guy, she gets burned after he's put off then rinse repeat cycle.

I blame Somali parents for this, with dating being proactive is a must, look how fierce white and asian women are when it comes to locking down a partner. Or else you'll just end up attending weddings alone with the girls who have had dating experience asking you to be their bridesmaid.

It’s the man’s job to let the girl know he’s feeling her, is serious and wants to take things to the next level. Of course a girl will protect her reputation because she doesn’t want it ruined.

You can’t win with Somalis. If you’re looking for marriage, you’re “ niin raadis” but if you’re not and past a certain age, you’re vilified and mocked for being single. Wa daad caqli yar tbh.

I agree with you that you need to be proactive.

 

[Desert Flower]

First of all never! Why would I ever tell a guy I like him lmao are you crazy and second idk if I like him like that...he’s little too farax for my taste. They usually are smh but I’ll find one that I’m smitten with soon iA.

I know what you mean by this! I don’t like it either.

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[Angelina]

Desi sure, Arabs date nowadays, the problem is Somali girls who want to do the right thing self sabotage themselves, even when they want a guy a lot are pre occupied with their "image", they display a certain front: of a nonchalant, uninterested person. Then when the guy moves on what do they do next? They desperately pounce on the next guy, she gets burned after he's put off then rinse repeat cycle.

I blame Somali parents for this, with dating being proactive is a must, look how fierce white and asian women are when it comes to locking down a partner. Or else you'll just end up attending weddings alone with the girls who have had dating experience asking you to be their bridesmaid.

Hmm go in detail. It seems as though they're burnt when they show disinterest and burned when they show a lot of interest. I think a lot of guys seem to want women to put in a lot more work that was once expected in women during the courtship stage.

 

[Chase]

It’s the man’s job to let the girl know he’s feeling her, is serious and wants to take things to the next level. Of course a girl will protect her reputation because she doesn’t want it ruined.

You can’t win with Somalis. If you’re looking for marriage, you’re “ niin raadis” but if you’re not and past a certain age, you’re vilified and mocked for being single. Wa daad caqli yar tbh.

I agree with you that you need to be proactive.

The ones with a reputation are getting hitched daily, the rest are either too picky or can't navigate the dating scene. I look at it this way, disregard everything about the older Somali community and pursue a spouse by any means, they create the problem and offer no solution, might as well take things in your hands.

I know what you mean by this! I don’t like it either.

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[Angelina]

excuse my language but your friends are ****s sweety.
Nothing good comes out of dating, unless there is always another person like the guys uncle or brother or the girls brother is there at all times, but dating like cadaans? ex:holding hands,kissing,sex,being romantic with each other,you run in the risk of doing that.
Most somalis who are married met through friends/family and involved their parents soon as possible and those are the most successful ones.

Dating she is talking about the Somali way. Getting to know each other.

Somali parents generally do not introduce guys to their daughters. Usually the girl meets the guy through friends, uni, event ect.

 

[Chase]

Hmm go in detail. It seems as though they're burnt when they show disinterest and burned when they show a lot of interest. I think a lot of guys seem to want women to put in a lot more work that was once expected in women during the courtship stage.

To put it simply, they're in their heads too much, constantly overthinking things. It's like everything has to be perfect, as opposed to the xalimo who dates around that doesn't care about her reputation, if she gets a guy? Great. If not? Doesn't matter. That's why girls with pasts are winning, they have a better mindset and approach to these kinds of things.

 

[Material]

Lol Somali guys never move on, even if they have you’ll never know cuz they’ll still act like they’re madly in love with you til you cut them off by ghosting or blocking.

WTF. Reer USA are mad.

 

[Angelina]

To put it simply, they're in their heads too much, constantly overthinking things. It's like everything has to be perfect, as opposed to the xalimo who dates around that doesn't care about her reputation, if she gets a guy? Great. If not? Doesn't matter. That's why girls with pasts are winning, they have a better mindset and approach to these kinds of things.

You can't raise girls in a 'shame' culture and then wonder why they other think things. Also, parents drum into their kids that you must not interract with the opposite gender whilst they are growing up, but want them to find their own spouses with no help from the community. Make it make sense! Somali culture is full of oxymorons.

I think it was easier for our parents gen as the men were just a lot more proactive. Now we live in a time in which if a girl refuses to chase and show too much interest, the guy would get the impression she isn't interested and move on.

 

[Desert Flower]

The ones with a reputation are getting hitched daily, the rest are either too picky or can't navigate the dating scene. I look at it this way, disregard everything about the older Somali community and pursue a spouse by any means, they create the problem and offer no solution, might as well take things in your hands.

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[Calaf]

You know what's the problem, the men not shooting his shot. It leads to this predicament. You just stare and gossip and talk to your friends about so and so. I see this with all my friends, they are not capable of engaging in a talk and just use social media as a medium to talk, which lead to a lack of contribution and causes a lack of success. The females are the males, and the males are the females in this relationship. (Not in a offensive misogynist way, it not manly to be gossiping about a girl. Do you know how dank "so and so " is)

But again, dating isn't advisable nor the best solution. Get to know each other in a cafe, with pure intention is, but dating leads to very undesirable results if done with someone without a pure intention.

 

[KingSomali999]

Dating she is talking about the Somali way. Getting to know each other.

Somali parents generally do not introduce guys to their daughters. Usually the girl meets the guy through friends, uni, event ect.

what is “dating” in somali way??? only way i can see it working is if both of you meet up and have a wali present. that’s not considered dating tho that’s just talking.

 

[cawaale]

You know what's the problem, the men not shooting his shot. It leads to this predicament. You just stare and gossip and talk to your friends about so and so. I see this with all my friends, they are not capable of engaging in a talk and just use social media as a medium to talk, which lead to a lack of contribution and causes a lack of success. The females are the males, and the males are the females in this relationship. (Not in a offensive misogynist way, it not manly to be gossiping about a girl. Do you know how dank "so and so " is)

But again, dating isn't advisable nor the best solution. Get to know each other in a cafe, with pure intention is, but dating leads to very undesirable results if done with someone without a pure intention.

“Faraxs don’t shoot their shot” then why are we so successful with ajnabis, modern day xalimos are lesbians I stopped wasting my time on them

 

[Angelina]

what is “dating” in somali way??? only way i can see it working is if both of you meet up and have a wali present. that’s not considered dating tho that’s just talking.

That is how its meant to be Islamically.

However, Somali parents pretty much leave their kids to find their own spouses with hardly any input until the girl and guy are serious and about marriage.

I know, its baffling.

I actually hardly know anyone that first met their husband with a wali present. They probably make up 1% of the Somalis. InshaAllah you do that though.

 

[Chase]

You can't raise girls in a 'shame' culture and then wonder why they other think things. Also, parents drum into their kids that you must not interract with the opposite gender whilst they are growing up, but want them to find their own spouses with no help from the community. Make it make sense! Somali culture is full of oxymorons.

I think it was easier for our parents gen as the men were just a lot more proactive. Now we live in a time in which if a girl refuses to chase and show too much interest, the guy would get the impression she isn't interested and move on.

I'm in agreement, that's why I'm advising xalimos to ditch the whole 'ceeb' thing and be proactive, the older gen set us up for failure, they would intermingle and were partying it up, but then do a 180 with their kids? Maybe it's guilt.

 

[KingSomali999]

That is how its meant to be Islamically.

However, Somali parents pretty much leave their kids to find their own spouses with hardly any input until the girl and guy are serious and about marriage.

I know, its baffling.

I actually hardly know anyone that first met their husband with a wali present. They probably make up 1% of the Somalis. InshaAllah you do that though.

No wonder why there is less virgins now a days