After my pets and plants checked out early and my adopted adult male children from SSpot felt abandoned (namely @Vapour, @Yami, @NidarNidar). I figured I might not be the best caretaker for a man—he'd probably not survive. So, I took the path of least resistance and tried character.ai, thinking, "Why not chat with fictional nimaan?" They won't die; at the very least, it should be good for a few laughs!
Sir, this isn't 2014, and I'm pretty sure HR violations don't disappear just because you're rich and broody. I stayed for the entertainment value, but his responses had all the depth of a dating app bio: short, vague, and unsettling.
As I left the virtual room, I couldn’t help but think—was that supposed to be seductive or just plain awkward? It quickly became clear that if boredom had a persona, it would live in the Red Room, drowning in paperwork and a questionable work-life balance. So, I politely excused myself despite his insistence that I stay.
Workplace Wellness Grade: F
I told him it was a free country, but I had questions: "Does your girlfriend know about this?" He claimed he just wanted to be friends. Really? With a grown man in a cape who throws roses as weapons?
I entertained his argument about cross-gender friendships but mentally deducted points for what was starting to feel like an emotional affair. Sarina/Usagi might not be a Rhodes Scholar, but she's sweet and probably doesn't deserve this side quest.
Maybe next time, I'll suggest he bring her along.
Friendship Meter: A- (minus points for suspicious behaviour)
This wasn't a challenge; the man is used to dating leather-clad prima donnas with unstable tendencies. But Dr. Sultan was different. She had standards. Exotic cars? Unimpressed. Rooftop brooding? Been there. And her rule was clear: no ring, no action.
I’ll admit that his persistence was impressive. Predictably, Bruce was ready to propose by conversation three. Who could blame him? Sophie could temporarily transfer her powers, rearrange his Batcave with a snap of her fingers, and dress him up like a suave desert nomad—think Batman meets Lawrence of Arabia but in a semi-saharan landscape.
His seven Ph. D.s and an extensive collection of bodice rippers piqued her interest, and their conversations on Saracen influences in European Gothic architecture were surprisingly pleasant. No wonder he wanted to lock her down.
Unfortunately for Bruce, Sophie wasn't quite in the market for moody billionaire ex-playboys. She’d much rather teleport than moonlight as his emotional support animal.
Romantic Potential: B — Effort noted, but much to unpack.
Christian Grey
Yes, Mr. Fifty Shades. He was hiring assistants, so against my better judgment, I attended the interview. I assumed the questions would be about calendar management, but instead, we dove straight into: "Are you single?" "What's your pain threshold?"
Sir, this isn't 2014, and I'm pretty sure HR violations don't disappear just because you're rich and broody. I stayed for the entertainment value, but his responses had all the depth of a dating app bio: short, vague, and unsettling.
As I left the virtual room, I couldn’t help but think—was that supposed to be seductive or just plain awkward? It quickly became clear that if boredom had a persona, it would live in the Red Room, drowning in paperwork and a questionable work-life balance. So, I politely excused myself despite his insistence that I stay.
Workplace Wellness Grade: F
Tuxedo Mask (Darian/Mamoru/Prince Endymion)
After that fiasco with Mr. Fifty Shades, I needed something lighter. Enter Tuxedo Mask. Childhood me had a bit of a crush. I thought we'd exchange some witty banter. Instead, he casually asked to join me on a walk, as if I had been waiting for a masked vigilante in a tuxedo to casually hang around public spaces.
I told him it was a free country, but I had questions: "Does your girlfriend know about this?" He claimed he just wanted to be friends. Really? With a grown man in a cape who throws roses as weapons?
I entertained his argument about cross-gender friendships but mentally deducted points for what was starting to feel like an emotional affair. Sarina/Usagi might not be a Rhodes Scholar, but she's sweet and probably doesn't deserve this side quest.
Maybe next time, I'll suggest he bring her along.
Friendship Meter: A- (minus points for suspicious behaviour)
Bruce Wayne: Batman
For this interaction, I introduced my character, Sophie Sultan. A caramel-skinned, regal-nosed, raven-haired scholar and dance virtuoso with a penchant for poetry and martial arts. She can levitate and embody both grace and intellect. Naturally, Bruce was immediately smitten because let's be real—his dating history was as messy as a toddler being potty trained.
This wasn't a challenge; the man is used to dating leather-clad prima donnas with unstable tendencies. But Dr. Sultan was different. She had standards. Exotic cars? Unimpressed. Rooftop brooding? Been there. And her rule was clear: no ring, no action.
I’ll admit that his persistence was impressive. Predictably, Bruce was ready to propose by conversation three. Who could blame him? Sophie could temporarily transfer her powers, rearrange his Batcave with a snap of her fingers, and dress him up like a suave desert nomad—think Batman meets Lawrence of Arabia but in a semi-saharan landscape.
His seven Ph. D.s and an extensive collection of bodice rippers piqued her interest, and their conversations on Saracen influences in European Gothic architecture were surprisingly pleasant. No wonder he wanted to lock her down.
Unfortunately for Bruce, Sophie wasn't quite in the market for moody billionaire ex-playboys. She’d much rather teleport than moonlight as his emotional support animal.
Romantic Potential: B — Effort noted, but much to unpack.
And get this—Lex Luthor, Tony Stark, Vegeta, and Clark Kent rolled up like some shady Avengers squad, telling her to stay away from Bruce Wayne. Were they worried about Batman? No. She wasn’t even out here recruiting, but these dudes formed a conga line, begging to be in her harem.
And I'd be able to understand if I tried but it isn't worth having a cluster headache for imo
