When do you open up to a guy about *serious* things?

[Kalsoon]

I think it would be dumb to open up to a talking stage. Should I just wait until we get serious and actually start talking and thinking about marriage.

Don’t recommend you open up or give any of your energy to someone who isn’t intentional about guur when speaking with you. There are people who are professional time wasters or those seeking a haram relationship if they can find an unsuspecting target. Watch the person’s words and action for consistency and genuineness. Use your intuition and pray istikaarah on this matter,

But it’s important to make your views and personality a bit more apparent as should he so you both assess your compatibility. Getting to know someone should occur in stages. You have to build a foundation before being vulnerable with them. They should earn your trust first.

 

[Yaraye]

I think it would be dumb to open up to a talking stage. Should I just wait until we get serious and actually start talking and thinking about marriage.

DON'T

 

[RedBlue911]

he doesnet need to know but you'd have to be a pretty scummy person man or woman to hide your past and pretend to be something your not, if you're only telling it to your significant other who won't expose it, then it's completely reasonable for the man or woman to ask. Sure it's good to hide your sins but you are advertising yourself to be something your not. What if this shows up, what if their past resurfaces and it blows up in your face or your significant other has another child somewhere or even worse. If you tell someone about your past, that does not mean that they won't marry you nor are they obliged to marry if they do know. It's basic human decency, also im a bit skeptical of islamqa in general but my point still stands.

It's 100% haram to ask someone if they commited zina Prophet

said: “O community of people, who believed by their tongue and belief did not enter their hearts, do not back-bite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in his house.” [Abu Dawood]

If Allah hid her sins, it's a shame for you to uncover them.

Anyways Allah provided believing women with believing men. If you have faith in Allah and lived righteously, you'll be given a good women. No need to ask such a question.

 

[empressjamila]

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[seoulmates]

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[Gob]

Never, keep your cards close.

 

[Daydreamer]

It's 100% haram to ask someone if they commited zina Prophet

said: “O community of people, who believed by their tongue and belief did not enter their hearts, do not back-bite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in his house.” [Abu Dawood]

If Allah hid her sins, it's a shame for you to uncover them.

Anyways Allah provided believing women with believing men. If you have faith in Allah and lived righteously, you'll be given a good women. No need to ask such a question.

see, I'd believe you if I didn't see this exact scenario play out with my own two eyes