Masjid yes. But school HELLLL NOOOO. men at my college will try to befriend you first and then make you “fall in love” then try to move to you. Like warya man upppp. These men will really take shortcuts to avoid being upfront about their intentions. I simply tell them I’m not interested in being friends…… HARAMMMI always thought initiating conversations at places like coffee shops where you'd most likely never see them again is perceived as desperate
Wouldn't places where you'd see someone semi-regularly (school, masjid, etc.) be more efficient
Why are so many men now afraid of talking to women?
- Thread starter Wervelwind
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World
VIP
Yeah that’s different than approaching random strangers on the street or w/e
you have something in common
𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈
VIP
There, I was merely going by vibes bouncing off your postings, dangerously presumptive on my part, I know, but offers clues as to your natural disposition.
No, you are doing quite all right, and it comes across that you are very sociable, gregarious with more yellow than red.
I would not recommend it for a lady, but you would be surprised as to how insightful strangers could be. I learn more from just conversing with complete strangers at bus stops, on trains, or at DIY stores (no more than 10 mins) esp. in the US, where the average person is so informal they would tell you their live story in a few seconds. Oh ladies of the pale strand are the easiest - I am not admitting to anything.
Yaraye
VIP
Women are afraid as well, I literally start panicking even having to speak to male co workers lol I’m completely socially inept 
We aren’t taught shukaansi culture like back home, also parents are afraid you’ll hook up with a gaal and have gaalo children so they step on your necks at a young age compared to an adolescent in mogadishu who’s given free reign to do whatever they want.
We aren’t taught shukaansi culture like back home, also parents are afraid you’ll hook up with a gaal and have gaalo children so they step on your necks at a young age compared to an adolescent in mogadishu who’s given free reign to do whatever they want.
yasmeen
summer break 7/1-?
At my deepest core, I am contrarian and straightforward. I bluntly say what I mean because if I didn’t believe in what I had to say, I wouldn’t be saying it to start with. Lol.
My inclination probably made you misread me.
Wait you’re an American? I thought you were British
If only I had the time to share the stories American strangers have divulged to me.
Being socialized as an American from birth has made me very comfortable in conversing with random strangers as well but to an extent. Even I have my limits.
White people are easy going and make for great conversationalists.
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𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈
VIP
A contrarian, who is not subversive? how very disappointingly discouraging!
I am a nomad, mi lady, a true Dickensian by way of Bow & Poplar (East London) currently squatting in Chicago suburbs, an alien so to speak.Wait you’re an American? I thought you were British
Awfully callow, for my liking, lacking depth, most not all.
And I definitely agree with you on that. But I don't really see the point in being a statistic. It ain't anything personal. I just don't see the point.While i agree with most of what you're saying, i don't understand why men always use the statistic of 70% of women initiating divorces (this is true) without talk about why the divorces is initiated. Most of the divorces initiated by women all have legitimate reasons to divorce.
Why Do Women Initiate Divorce More Often Than Men?
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yasmeen
summer break 7/1-?
I am subversive. Where did you get the idea I wasn’t?
Re:bluntness, to clarify I meant that I commit faux pas too often for my liking. I can sometimes come across as tactless with my remarks. But the right people find my stream of consciousness refreshing. I think it makes me come across as authentic and sincere? I don’t think it’s a bad quality? I just need to grow older and gain more life experiences to get better at softening my words.
Do you like Chicago so far? Is this your first time in America?
Are you talking about Americans or the English? I guess they would have different vibes.
I find that most people lack depth regardless of race. Maybe I’m just easily bored and unimpressed?
Women also love to play hard to get. They enjoy being chased. A man of quality will not chase a woman when there's so many others just like you or better who will not play hard to get. A man of quality will take it as "no" or you being nice in rejecting him and will move on especially in me too feminist era. The ones who chase are not the ones of quality and don't respect womens boundaries. Most Somali girls will get a few interested quality men that they will be good for them and their equals. If they try to be hard to get, they will make a big mistake.
𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈
VIP
You are a good sport, full of energy, humour, and maturity, a vixen of the good sort.
Oh in our initial encounter, I thought, and could be wrong, you presented yourself as the quintessential apostle of the military regime in ardu Somal, which surely goes against your self-proclaimed subversive nature; or am I mistaking you for another?I am subversive. Where did you get the idea I wasn’t?
Indeed, being young and ideal, one is full of unproven ideas, fueled by spurious confidence, not grounded on certainty, but as one grows into maturation, one discovers how lacking one is in epistemology, with the hope being one continues to seek, accrue, disassemble, and perform ingress rumination and reflections, and only flicks to disprove hypotheses, practises prudence, recognises paucity in wisdom, and considers interactions with strangers as if learning moments, a rope to the well of gen, so to speak, by way of osmosis. I digress.
Chicago is quite all right so long as one avoids certain pockets and neighbourhoods at certain times of the later half of the day, unless of course one fancies a bit of a slumming. I prefer the US, warts and all, to Europe, and have been here for a quite while.
Definitely Yankees, for the average European is remarkably more informed, and shockingly reads, imagine that, with some depth whereas the average Yankee is the opposite, again most, and not all, and at least from my lowly experience.
I am afraid that is more atypical of your being a Yankee faithfully embracing the inglorious exceptionalism syndrome, and could be down to your being at cusp of your trot in life, offering more egress reflections than ingress, as we all do.
I don't think it is fear. Many times you assume a xalimo is something you've seen off of Somali Twitter.
There is something guys can do which is basically cancelling a girl in their mind because of something they picked up on her. For instance, I was at an event and there was a cute xalimo there, I approached but afterwards all I could think about was how close she was stood with this other white ajnabi guy. And I just felt like if she was okay with him being in her personal space like that then she couldn't be the one for me. So I didn't bother pursuing things any further. And I don't regret my decision
At a previous job, there was another cute xalimo - she was in her early 20s. And there was also, this 40-50yr old madow manager - his head was clean shaven, he had a white goatee beard and was around 5"8. He had just come back from his holiday and he reached out to this particular xalimo in the office for a hug. She didn't give him a full chested hug just a side hug but after seeing that I genuinely lost interest in her. She's cute but I just can't see myself being with a woman who lets guys at work touch her like that. I don't hold any disdain for her, I just don't see the point of wasting both our times entertaining something I know I can't live with come commitment.
Some say its the plethora of xalimo options us faraxs have, honestly - I think its a combo of that and us faraxs just having to be more cautious in these streets. You can't just assume that since a xalimo is a xalimo or wears a hijab or is named Fartun she is perfect wifey material. And why waste your precious time on entertaining something besides that? Plus, just today on my way home from school I came across a hijabi xaliimo kissing some arab guy. Had I seen her not in that compromising situation, I would have assumed her to be a decent xalimo perfectly ripe for marriage. So I feel you just can't catch feelings for someone you haven't invested a lot of time/years with.
Its complicated because I don't want to be telling xalimos to have no social interactions with non-muhrams. But modern western white-collar working xalimos genuinely have their work cut out for them. Every office I've worked in men hit on female colleagues. And many single and lonely xalimos get preyed upon. They would tolerate it because their bosses give them an easy day at the office so long as they're passive to their advances. I mean I remember this job I did at 19, and I came in to speak to a particularly white woman who was ex-military. She was like in her early 40s but still decent looking. She had a picture of her and her friends in the army in Iraq on her desk. I naturally inquired about her time in the armed forces and told her I was considering joining. She took a genuine interest in me, she had lustful eyes for me and would always give me special treatment at work. Oddly enough though, it didn't make my male colleagues mad. Guys are less petty about things like that. Plus, they were more interested in the younger girls at the office. This job was an hours commute by car so I knew I eventually had to find something closer. But the way that office was so wild. Married cadaan women openly joking about what 'nuts' they like in which 'draw'. Naive me once actually went into the draws to try and find those nuts only to find out those draws were only filled with endless stacks of untouched freshly printed paper, and the odd highlighters and markers here and there.
There were never nuts in any of those draws. They were metaphorical for the genitals of the fellas who sat on the desks. They were all married, and wore their wedding rings/bands.
There is something guys can do which is basically cancelling a girl in their mind because of something they picked up on her. For instance, I was at an event and there was a cute xalimo there, I approached but afterwards all I could think about was how close she was stood with this other white ajnabi guy. And I just felt like if she was okay with him being in her personal space like that then she couldn't be the one for me. So I didn't bother pursuing things any further. And I don't regret my decision
At a previous job, there was another cute xalimo - she was in her early 20s. And there was also, this 40-50yr old madow manager - his head was clean shaven, he had a white goatee beard and was around 5"8. He had just come back from his holiday and he reached out to this particular xalimo in the office for a hug. She didn't give him a full chested hug just a side hug but after seeing that I genuinely lost interest in her. She's cute but I just can't see myself being with a woman who lets guys at work touch her like that. I don't hold any disdain for her, I just don't see the point of wasting both our times entertaining something I know I can't live with come commitment.
Some say its the plethora of xalimo options us faraxs have, honestly - I think its a combo of that and us faraxs just having to be more cautious in these streets. You can't just assume that since a xalimo is a xalimo or wears a hijab or is named Fartun she is perfect wifey material. And why waste your precious time on entertaining something besides that? Plus, just today on my way home from school I came across a hijabi xaliimo kissing some arab guy. Had I seen her not in that compromising situation, I would have assumed her to be a decent xalimo perfectly ripe for marriage. So I feel you just can't catch feelings for someone you haven't invested a lot of time/years with.
Its complicated because I don't want to be telling xalimos to have no social interactions with non-muhrams. But modern western white-collar working xalimos genuinely have their work cut out for them. Every office I've worked in men hit on female colleagues. And many single and lonely xalimos get preyed upon. They would tolerate it because their bosses give them an easy day at the office so long as they're passive to their advances. I mean I remember this job I did at 19, and I came in to speak to a particularly white woman who was ex-military. She was like in her early 40s but still decent looking. She had a picture of her and her friends in the army in Iraq on her desk. I naturally inquired about her time in the armed forces and told her I was considering joining. She took a genuine interest in me, she had lustful eyes for me and would always give me special treatment at work. Oddly enough though, it didn't make my male colleagues mad. Guys are less petty about things like that. Plus, they were more interested in the younger girls at the office. This job was an hours commute by car so I knew I eventually had to find something closer. But the way that office was so wild. Married cadaan women openly joking about what 'nuts' they like in which 'draw'. Naive me once actually went into the draws to try and find those nuts only to find out those draws were only filled with endless stacks of untouched freshly printed paper, and the odd highlighters and markers here and there.
There were never nuts in any of those draws. They were metaphorical for the genitals of the fellas who sat on the desks. They were all married, and wore their wedding rings/bands.
talking with girls is fun. when you don’t care and try to enjoy yourself they’ll be receptive
Khaem
VIP
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if your interested then go for it if not who cares they’ll make it obvious evidently
You hit the nail on the wall. Absolutely. Are men supposed to wife them because they have a hijab? So many do zina and give other men hugs.
Khaem
VIP
Yeah I'm changing up the game, now I will just go for it and see what happens.
@hamar_oo_iidil @Idrus some even smoked hashish. Can you vision the mother of your kids who smoked hashish even once? I would have a mental breakdown.
Khaem
VIP
Hasish as in shisha?
The xalimo I mentioned in my previous post I waved to me the other day outside of college and I heard her and her group (other somalis, Eritreans and Ethiopians) all tell me they were going to smoke shisha. Our college is in this very Arab area so you can find it literally everywhere. Felt a bit weird about it and just got my bus and said bye.
