Why do Somali guys mock guys who cook and clean ?

[Finesse]

How will you entertain him when he has to cook for you and clean and dish out your salary for taking care of your own children

She is not obligated to but she can choose to.. if you decide together that she is the housewife, surely, she will be a housewife but you should understand that she is doing it for the sake of Allah.

Secondly, if you act in a nice, non-demanding manner, you will find that your wife will got the extra mile for you.

Many women, muslim and non-muslim alike, harbour secret resentments against their husbands for being taken for granted.

If you are interested in maintaining a (TRULY) happy wife, it would do you well to pay attention to what the women on here are trying to tell you.

 

[Samaalic Era]

This is pretty fascinating:

Imam Abu Ishaq al-Shirazi mentioned Al-Muhaddhab:

“A woman is not required obliged to serve her husband by baking, grinding flour, cooking, washing, or any other kind of service, because the marriage contract entails, for her part, only that she let him enjoy her sexually, and she is not obligated to do other than that.”

Note: This is included in Reliance of the Traveller, w45.1.

Now do you realise why Somali men are going back home to get married.
This is the worst deal any man could sign up for

 

[Finesse]

He's misleading these ladies..
In all societies gaalo or Muslim the women do mostly the cooking and cleaning for the family.. Just ask any person it's pretty normal to cook food for your husband and kids. But I think these girls lack cooking skills and they're too lazy to clean up their houeses/homes.. Its better to be a single man than marry such females.

It's not about laziness, it's about the attitude. If a man is disgusted by household chores, it would scare any woman away. Imagine if your wife falls ill or dies? Are you going to dump the kids on your old mother? Or your sister?

It's about being able and open-minded.

 

[Samaalic Era]

It's not about laziness, it's about the attitude. If a man is disgusted by household chores, it would scare any woman away. Imagine if your wife falls ill or dies? Are you going to dump the kids on your old mother? Or your sister?

It's about being able and open-minded.

If she dies or is ill, then of course ill handle it. But once she recovers from her illness, she has to do it

 

[Halimo-2018]

Wallahi the Prophet pbuh did not do that. What do you take the Prophet pbuh for

Walahi crying laughing lol ok i will double check with my shiekh. I swear i heard it before. My bad. I dont think the prophet pbu would be hesitant to cook or clean. He was very humble.

 

[Struggle]

This is pretty fascinating:

Imam Abu Ishaq al-Shirazi mentioned Al-Muhaddhab:

“A woman is not required obliged to serve her husband by baking, grinding flour, cooking, washing, or any other kind of service, because the marriage contract entails, for her part, only that she let him enjoy her sexually, and she is not obligated to do other than that.”

Note: This is included in Reliance of the Traveller, w45.1.

Do you also believe the father can force his daughter to marry someone she didnt like? What about the Niqab that it says the niqab is wajib according to the reliance of the traveller? It is not nice to pick and choose:siilaanyolaugh:

 

[Finesse]

If she dies or is ill, then of course ill handle it. But once she recovers from her illness, she has to do it

Leading on from this, what is a duty of a husband and a father exactly?

This question goes to all the men reading this, what is your role, be as detailed as possible thanks.

 

[HalimaJ]

Now do you realise why Somali men are going back home to get married.
This is the worst deal any man could sign up for

Erm this has got nothing to do with location or going back home, but merely the Shafi madhab. Salafis have a different view though.

 

[Struggle]

Now do you realise why Somali men are going back home to get married.
This is the worst deal any man could sign up for

I think you should read the book. Cooking and cleaning aint that bad. You get more than you wish. According to the reliance of the traveller your wife cannot go out without your permission. She cant even get something from the market without your permission.

 

[Samaalic Era]

Leading on from this, what is a duty of a husband and a father exactly?

To provide daily bread,clothing,shelter and a security. To educate and discipline his children and to be kind and firm in his home

 

[Abdisamad]

Leading on from this, what is a duty of a husband and a father exactly?

This question goes to all the men reading this, what is your role, be as detailed as possible thanks.

As I see it
1. Provide economically for the family
2. Be a role model for the kids and raise them in good manners
3. Be humble and kind to his wife

Now what should the role of the wife be?

 

[Finesse]

To provide daily bread,clothing,shelter and a security. To educate and discipline his children and to be kind and firm in his home

So you would be the "help with homework and deal with teachers parent".
Add in surprise gifts, trips and enough (non sexual) quality time with the wife and this sounds good to me.

 

[Finesse]

As I see it
1. Provide economically for the family
2. Be a role model for the kids and raise them in good manners
3. Be humble and kind to his wife

Now what should the role of the wife be?

What about in the house, what would you do? What does raising them involve.
Help with homework? Take them to and from school/dugsi etc?

 

[Samaalic Era]

So you would be the "help with homework and deal with teachers parent".
Add in surprise gifts, trips and enough (non sexual) quality time with the wife and this sounds good to me.

The Prophet pbuh used to play with his grandchildren and also used to race Aisha ra. Spending time with his wife and children is also part of being the a leader

 

[Aden Ciisman]

I honestly love cooking and baking with Hooyo. I learned a lot, that I used now since I live on my own. My Aboo taught me how tidy up, since he hates messes

 

[Abdisamad]

What about in the house, what would you do? What does raising them involve.
Help with homework? Take them to and from school/dugsi etc?

Yes of course

 

[HalimaJ]

Do you also believe the father can force his daughter to marry someone she didnt like? What about the Niqab that it says the niqab is wajib according to the reliance of the traveller? It is not nice to pick and choose:siilaanyolaugh:

Yep according to some Shafi scholars.

Yet most of the madhabs are in agreement that:

A: A woman cannot be forced.
B: she doesn't have to cook.

So no, i'm not picking and choosing. The only scholars that say that it is a woman's duty is the Salafis.

Plus the whole cooking and cleaning thing isn't an issue for me.

 

[HalimaJ]

Honestly, marriage shouldn't be a power struggle. Just help each other as much as you can.

I'm not going to do xyz for my man or wife is just going to making you miserable and have an empty shell of a marriage.

I will cook and clean and I expect him to help me and and I will also help with his duties if he needs help as well.

Just marry someone who can be your best friend.

 

[HalimaJ]

How will you entertain him when he has to cook for you and clean and dish out your salary for taking care of your own children

Just help each other and then she will have enough time to look pretty for you.

Also remember a woman that is cherished and respected will go all out for her man.

 

[IstarZ]

I honestly love cooking and baking with Hooyo. I learned a lot, that I used now since I live on my own. My Aboo taught me how tidy up, since he hates messes

It comes in handy. Cooking is such a basic life-skill that everyone should have/learn. I’m not sure why people are making it such a big deal.

Every household is different. Do what works for you. There’s no right or wrong here. Cooking for your family/wife doesn’t make you less of a man. Showing humility when you are given responsibility over others is actually a great form of character.